for grins and giggles

WHAT WAS YOUR LAST SURPRISE?

/ helbergfarmstories / 6 Comments

I went out, as normal, last Wednesday morning to do the morning chores thingy. A few of the idiot guineas did not want to go in from the night before, so they were left out (can you say coyote bait?). Well, they were squawking up a storm, which usually means an uninvited visitor. Most times it is a fox or coyote and by the time I hear the ruckus someone is already a meal-deal.

Low and behold this is what I saw:

wild turkey 3

Sorry, it is a bit blurry, he was about 50 yards from the front pen and would not stop moving.

Then Thursday morning I found this (about 20 feet away from me):

wild turkey 1

Here’s another view in the same spot:

wild turkey 2

Check out the colors – amazing! He was now right up in our pens. I let our “boys” out (it’s only one extra rooster – Buddy, and one red turkey- Whiskey) and the boys decided to have a flirt-off.   All they did was follow each other around for about 3 hours, fanning and un-fanning their tail feathers – funny to watch though!

Our turkey,

Whiskey 4-20-16

Is of course much bigger, fatter and goofier than his wild cousin. Whiskey will follow me all over the yards and gardens when I am working outside. The Wild Thing proved that they are just as dense as domestics. We live right by an on-ramp to the highway. Wild Thing likes to walk our lane down to the field, except one morning he wanted a detour.

The stupid bird followed ON the road along the on-ramp fence line – eeek! My sister and I stood and watched for about 30 minutes. Every single vehicle didn’t matter the size, which came up on him he would fluff and strut right out in front of it!? The vehicles would slow down, come to a full stop, then slowly make their way around him. It was hysterical to watch. Then again, we also know the secret to him and his car heists…simply step out of the car (yes, I am still laughing out loud on this) and he runs like a scared chicken! Go figure? A 2 to 5-ton vehicle does not feel like a threat to him (even though it could turn him into Thanksgiving dinner in a heartbeat), but a two-legged human makes him duck-and-cover (yes, I am pun-ing all over the place – and not apologizing for it either, hee hee). He eventually gave up on his Goliaths’ and sauntered back down into the field, eventually back into the woods.

Today is now a week since he first ventured up and he is still doing it. I took my grandson to school today, came back home about 8 am; he met me at the gate to the driveway. I saw him in this field as I left fanning at a plastic bag stuck in the wire fence. I drove around to the fence at which point he came charging after my car. The minute I opened the door he screeched to a halt – watching me. I ventured a glance his way and softly spoke, “Hi Pretty Boy, want to come play with our birds?” He didn’t answer, just watched as I grabbed the bag, went back into my car, and drove back by the chicken coop. I decided to let the boys out again this morning, and as of this moment, he took me up on my offer and is back chasing with our Whiskey again.

I really do love our unexpected visitors – especially when they are wild ones. Oh, and, Arlene; you will be happy to know that we now have three new baby bunnies enjoying the fruits of our labors in our gardens. (They are about 4-5” long and no I do not have the heart to terminate them. As much as I hate them eating our efforts, I have decided to do some better fencing instead. Big Giant Pansie that I am, especially with anything “baby” critter-ish. You all can laugh at me now!)

bb bunny

Happy spring gardening! May you have your own uninvited visitors!

(P.S.  If you are not giggling wildly by now, go back and visit Whiskey’s pic – see that HUGE breast on him?  You should see it wobble when he gets excited and runs!  Then again, most of him wobbles when he runs.)

 

 

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TO WHOM DO I OWE THIS ROTTEN “MANEUVER?”

/ helbergfarmstories / 4 Comments

Yes, it is a maneuver (For anyone that has ever watched Eddie Izzard stand-up comedy – this is perfectly stated here)! Someone somewhere has decreed that you must gain weight back quickly after it has cost you great time, pain, and effort to get it off! Jerks!!

I do not normally give a flying monkey butt about what people think about me or the way I look. I have fun!! When I dig in the dirt, I get dirty. When I clean the house, I get dusty. When I build or tear apart something for the farm, I get hot and (yes girls) sweaty. You would think that with all of that going on I would be the size of a twig – Nooot!

It is my birthday today! I now have the following:

  • Right shoulder – complete reverse replacement.
  • Left shoulder – gut/clean-up for bone spurs.
  • Right and left shoulder both – front tendons cut due to arthritis pulling them too far forward. (can lift things to a point, not as much weight and not at a certain angle – unfortunately, coffee pots are at the angle so now it takes two hands for my morning boost – boo hoo!)
  • Both knees – complete replacements.
  • Half my left foot – replaced with a metal plate, pins and joints.
  • All of the above due to osteoarthritis – oh lucky me!

Oops, almost forgot

  • Left index finger – half amputated from a severe infection (never try this one at home kiddies). The only bummers with this one are my typing (used to be over 100 wpm, not no more) and my yarn work (though this part is sometimes fun to watch – pick up the yarn with your left index finger and maneuver it over the needle – ya right?!). Luckily can still dig in the dirt!

All of the stuff bulleted above happened within a 1-year time and began just a couple months after our fire loss of 2014. Oddly enough, I am in a happy, happy, joy, joy mood today – what’s up with that?

peanuts happy dance

Before all of this hit, I had lost over 40 pounds doing physically hard work and my new jobs, which was the biggest thrill of doing them! It took over two years to get it down that much.

Well, I thought I was smart (idiot!), having the left foot done as soon as I was able to tolerate the left knee pain, but was semi-bed ridden for 3+ months for healing time. I was not allowed to put ANY pressure on the foot at all. I tried crutches – oops, not that coordinated (help, I fell and couldn’t get up because I couldn’t stop laughing at myself on the floor), then bought a “knee scooter” – BEST INVENTION EVER!!!

knee scooter

(you can see why he just had to fly around the house on it -p.s. love the basket!)

I got pretty good at the end of my 2nd month at whipping around on that hummer – weeee! My grandson loved it too, except he could actually sit on it and ride it around. Didn’t care until I needed to go to the bathroom, then somehow it was always out-of-reach? (little bugger!)

During this “down time,” I managed to gain back all the weight I worked so hard on getting off. My big question here is – why? I tried hard to watch what I ate, but the body decided it just did not like the idea of me lazin around.

It was a painfully long haul maneuvering (there’s that word again-grr), the metal and plastic parts. One of the first dumbest stunts was opening a door too fast and too far back! Swung that sucker wide and popped my right shoulder right out of socket – now doesn’t that just look pretty??!!! It sticks out like a 2nd head popping out of my shoulder. Can you say OUCH! Oh and here’s the other kicker – it doesn’t just “pop” back in – nooooo – I have to maneuver it around – gently – to get it to slide back in. Hard lesson learned real fast! (my father would be proud – “you dumb shit” – flew out of my mouth instantly, for those of you that don’t know, it was his pet name for me – and yes, I am laughing hysterically writing this!)

shoulder reverse replacement

(hee hee – picture that plate sliding right off that ball toward your chest – “dumb shit!” – LOL)

Yes, Mo (my outstanding Therapist, and he even knows how to guilt me like a dad – lol), I am doing my therapy! However, with two years of neglected gardens screaming at me, I can’t wait for my mess to heal. Throw on my shorts, head sweat band, grab my tools and to the gardens I go! I think I have subconsciously taught myself to watch how much I pick up, how I pick it up and how I maneuver (that wonderful “m” word once again attacks). So me, my metal and plastic parts, my wrinkles, and lightly graying hairs hope you all have such fun birthdays as this! (Oh, and it’s raining with a chance of snow – grr!)

cake silly face

 

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IF IT’S GREEN, IS IT LUCKY FOR THE GARDNER?

/ helbergfarmstories / 5 Comments

I love getting, what I like to call, left-field information! This is the stuff that you would not normally dig up, or even think to dig up. Such is the case of a recent email from my family – – -“ April 20th, 2016 will be a night of the “GREEN MOON”…this appearance only happens about every 420 years and will only last about 90 minutes.”

green moon

So, being the OCD researcher that I am, I went digging for more information and found this on the earthsky.org website:

There are several versions this (completely untrue) story, and we’ve gotten many questions about it from within our community, from people wanting to know if it’s true. Here’s the main version: the moon will appear green for the first time in 420 years on April 20, 2016. True? No, not even kinda. Snopes called it:

… entirely humorous in nature.

And it is pretty funny when you think about April 20 (4-20) and 420 years, and realize that 420 is a code word for marijuana (invented, according to Urban Dictionary, by “dozen pot-smoking wiseacres” at San Rafael High School in 1971) and that the date April 20 has special meaning to some as Weed Day.

All of that notwithstanding, many appear to be taking April 20, 2016, green moon literally.

And we repeat … it’s not true.

pot moon

Sad but true – it’s not real – boo hoo hoo! I love watching the moon, especially on a perfect fall evening. The crispness in the air, maybe a distant owl hooting, calm (or no) breeze, the smells of the fading harvest starting to diminish, and that big glowing moon up above. We have a couple of fire pits so, of course, at least one would be crackling. It feels like my younger camping out days, but now with the modern conveniences (mainly indoor toilets – what a relief! – yes, pun intended, sorry.)

I have seen bright white ones, ones that appeared so HUGE that you could almost reach out and touch it. Blood moons (ahh, brings out that little-hidden witch in me – hee hee), Blue moons, and, of course, Circle moons.

Blood Moon   Blue Moon

Circle moons are the type of which my mother would swear a storm was coming soon. She has me watching for it to this day. If you have a big bright moon, bright enough with all the right conditions to bring on what looks like an outer ring around it – that is your circle moon. Now check and see if there are any stars in that space between the moon and its outer circle. Count the number of starts and that is supposed to be the number of days until your storm. See – left field information – gotta love it!

Circle Moon

Silly me forgot to check it last night. According to actual weather people, we are in for a wild one over the next several (yep – several) days. It is supposed to dump two months of wet on us in just a few days. Not real sure how I want to take that. We can always use more moisture here. Since all the spring sprouting is going on, it may be perfect timing. Then again, with the weird winters we have had, (and they hint this may hold snow in it) this could be the totally wrong time of year for a wicked freeze. Not really unusual here, just another year of bad timing on Mother Nature’s part.

So my Fellow Dirt Dwellers, hang around for a few days, and I will share with you what messes we can get into. Hope for at least a few puddles to jump in when it’s all over and the sun comes back?!

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THEY’RE BACK (No, it’s not poltergeist)!

/ helbergfarmstories / 9 Comments

I was checking out the storm Thursday morning, and that’s when I spotted it. Hanging low in our woods, almost aiming for the pond, then back up again. I’m sure it was trying to stay out of the wind gusts, but it moved like it was not affected by them at all.

Turkey Vultures!

vulture at library 4-1-16

Yep, we officially know it is spring when they show back up. They fly over heading north-northeast every spring. Then we get to see them going back in the fall. Have no clue where they are going to or from, but love to see them.

They are not as big as a Condor, but much larger than our area hawks. Guess I am just too much of a bird watching nut, so I naturally get excited when I see them. They are such smooth operators, even in our gust storms!

The first one I spotted was Thursday (3/31/16). It was all by itself which is very odd. Normally we see them like this:

vultures are back 3 31 16This group I spotted at our local small town library about an hour ago. They were dipping in between the trees there – odd? I have seen them in groups of about 5 to around 10, and I know they do not fly straight. They do this huge loop-de-loop in the air, gradually floating off in the direction they want to go. Ducks and geese fly over all year long. They are in a “V” formation, but they still move like an arrow in a straight direction. The loop-de-loop is usually how I spot the vultures. Dead give away (ha ha – yes, pun intended!)

The way they were bobbing in and out of the trees, they seemed to be playing at the library. Shame on them! They were just far enough away and moved fast enough that I could not get a clean shot of one with my cell phone – Boo Hoo! Oh well, at least, I have a couple of pics. Would love to have one close up in the wild. I think they are a bit camera shy! Too bad, I have a business proposition for them…I will set out some of my chicken feed as a treat if they pick off some of our huge ugly gophers? Think they will bite?

plains pocket gopher 2                         prarie dog

Pocket Gopher:                                                                                Prarie Dog

  1. Can’t tell here, but they have very long sharp teeth and claws.
  2. Are almost as big as a Prarie Dog.
  3. Take out the roots of EVERYTHING!
  4. Neither is cute or cuddly
  5. Both are dangerous (I actually saw some in a pet shop in WI – oooh nooo Mr. Bill! Now I hear they are having a prairie dog problem – duh!) and do not make good pets!
  6. Both will dig holes large enough for a goat, cow, or horse to break a leg in!
  7. Cattlemen and/or a good hunter can pick off a prairie dog on the plains – they are bold and brazen.
  8. Gophers are sneaky! If a cat or dog is patient, they may get one. Our guineas would rip it off if it ever had the guts to show its face to them – but nooo – they have too much fun tearing up all of our good fruit tree roots – jerks.

Well, I have news for them…soon it will be warm enough for our Bull snake momma to come out – wooo hooo – love her!!!

 

 

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ODE TO SPRING – This is the way the world begins…

/ helbergfarmstories / 1 Comment

This one is dedicated to my cousin Carol Jo in Wisconsin (and, of course, all rest of you – family, friend and frozen). I just now (2 pm MST) took these pics from our front yard:

DSC_0001

The Honeysuckle is a bloomin,

DSC_0002

The Iris and Mint are a poppin.

DSC_0003

Tulips are a growin,DSC_0008

And the Lilly’s almost a showin.

Then there was this:

DSC_0007

Late last fall I just shoved some Spice Bush shoots into this pot in hopes of transplanting them – last year. Well, best-laid plans being what they are, I didn’t get to them.

I just now, for grins and giggles, took a peek at the pot and the silly things have leaves! WHAT’S UP WITH THAT??? Open pot, left over from last fall, been sitting out all winter; yet they survived and are THRIVING?? I guess our friend is right – we must be in a blessed spot when it comes to mother nature.

Now, for those of you that remember Night Gallery the series…I/we are now officially the Old Lady in the garden, “Everything I plant grows!” Oops, I even lost ½ my finger (in 2014 – different story), but I forgot to get it from my doctor, save it and plant it so I could re-grow. I know, I know…sounds sick but the show was fantastic!

A Happy Garden is a Healthy Garden! Hee hee

 

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I’M IN TROUBLE NOW!

/ helbergfarmstories / 4 Comments

The back of one arm is all black and blue already. Pretty sure part of one butt cheek is also. This is what I get for forgetting to wear green today (pretty sure mom is laughing her butt off watching this from heaven – LOL).

I had been thinking about it all week, my only nephew son’s birthday was yesterday, and I remember that on purpose because it is the day before St. Patty’s Day. I reminded my grandson to wear his St Patty’s day shirt – and me – nooo (duh)!

Moms side of the family is mostly Irish, and it has always been a big deal. We have also been eating corned beef and cabbage up the wazoo (mainly because we love it, but any excuse will do to have more – yum!).

But you forget just one time and – OUCH! Oh, idiot me.

So this quickie little note is just to apologize to mom, my ancestors and all my friends that have been so nice as to remind me – I forgot!

happy st pats phrase

(Please don’t send the Angry Leprechauns after me – eek!! Hee hee)

angry leprechan

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IT’S OFFICIALLY SPRING, BUT WHO INVITED THESE GUYS ALREADY?

/ helbergfarmstories / 7 Comments

We spend the weekend cleaning up the yard.  I say weekend, but it was really just Sunday.  Everything we touched on Saturday, just blew somewhere else.  (Some days I get really tired of the wind – grrr!  Sure, now-but in a couple of months I will be praying for a breeze – LOL!)  While cleaning up, I was not even thinking about all the “little critters” I was messing with.  They decided to remind me! 

This was on my hallway wall when I woke up:

1st moth in house 3-7-16

Our first Miller Moth – oh joy (she says sarcastically)!  I have extremely thick kinky hair and the buggers love to get stuck in it!  Nothing makes you say yuck faster than hearing the crunching of trying to get one untangled from your head – ugh!

I had placed all my dusty/dirty clothes into the wash last night.  I knew I was kicking up some old weeds when I was mowing some spots, but I just didn’t realize how many bugs I was scaring up as well.  One of these was at the bottom of my washer when the load was done:

soldier bug      stink bug         squash bug

Soldier Bug – good             Stink Bug – BAD                   Squash Bug – BAD

 

stink bug-look-a-likes

I say one of these, as it was so mushed from the wash that I couldn’t tell which type it was?  The first – Soldier Bug – is a goodie, but hard to tell from the Stink Bug (baddie).  The Squash Bug (also a baddie) has a completely different look but, when it is mush in your Kleenex, looks the same as the others (yucky!!)

The Soldier bug is also called a “Spinney” soldier bug, and it does look a lot more jagged than its counterpart, the stink bug.  Oh, and if you have ever had the unfortunate opportunity to get nailed by a Stink Bug, you will understand why it is named that – NASTY!  It is definitely a very different smell – blah!

My point for you all to ponder is – was it dead or alive before it went into the wash?  I have seen tons of Box Elder Beetles, a few flies, wasps, honey bees (this one is normal as we have boxes that stay on our property year around – think it helps to bring them out early?), and just yesterday a Ladybug!  I just didn’t think these three bugs would be out until it actually got warmer and stayed (like maybe June – haha, wishful thinking)?

So I have already started my “natural bug defense training” on my other blog,  www.gardenglowsbydesign.com/blog.  My plan on that one is to figure out which are the worst bugs out there, and how many different natural ways there are to either keep them at bay or destroy them all together.  We are a live-and-let-live kinda farm, but offense is the best defense.  So, ugly nasties beware – I am on the hunt for you all this year!

me fighting bad bugs (And yes – I do look like this when I am chasing down bad bugs in the gardens! LOL)

 

IT’S NOT SMART TO MESS WITH MOTHER NATURE-MAYBE?

/ helbergfarmstories / 2 Comments

This morning was a wakeup call for me and my attempts at taking pictures.  There had to be a couple of thousand Snow Geese flying north over out little farm and these are my shots:

3-3-16 snow geese 2

snow geese 1

3-3-16 snow geese 3

Pretty pitiful – but there are 2 major things wrong pertaining to these pictures:

1)      Winning a great Nikon D3200 Camera with extra DX lens does not make one an instant expert photographer

2)      All the Snow Geese flying north on March 3, 2016 is way abby-normal!

The first one I can fix by actually taking classes (I think they even have some online under Nikon?) to learn how to take better pics.  I could also splurge on a neat little video camera (Walmart has several to choose from, at pretty reasonable prices), then I could have also shared the cool sounds they were making with you.

The second one is the thought that worries me a bit.  This winter has been way to different, and I don’t think it’s just here in Colorado.  It’s normal to get 70 degrees one day and 30 the next from October through January, but to get 60+ and stay there IN FEBRUARY – and no Freeze at all –  now that’s just not normal.  We prep all year for the one to two week period of below freezing day and night, not this year.

Have I also told you that I am an amateur Nature Enthusiast?  I say amateur because I have never taken formal classes on the subject; however, I have lived on a working farm most of my life (My folks purchased the family farm when I was about 2, and my sister was born after we moved there so she has been at it since birth).

I am fascinated with all things nature and natural.  The critters that show up unexpectedly in our yard (can you say opossum!).  The deer that come out of the woods almost every sunset to frolic in the lower pasture (especially love watching in spring as they chase each other all around till dark).  The increasing numbers of good bugs that are showing up here every year (Praying Mantis, Ladybugs, Monarch Butterflies – and some are endangered species).  We do not use chemicals of any kind on our property, so maybe we have become the Favorite Bug Restaurant for the good guys (I can only hope!)?  Who knows why they come, I’m just glad the come.

The numbers of sightings have increase about 10-fold since we purchased our little property in 2000.  Then again we cannot take all the credit, the first 3 years we were here were the worst drought years Colorado had seen in 100+ years.  That may have been a contributing factor (oh sure, blame the drought).  However, all I know is that they are here now and in growing numbers.

So the geese flying north in masses makes me wonder what old (yes she is “old”) Mother Nature is up to now?

Mother Nature 1

Is she in a playful mood and deciding to bring a nice early spring?  Is she in a vengeful mood and going to trick us into thinking it is nice, then zap us with a wicked deep freeze in April (after everything is in bloom of course – happened before and not long ago.)?  I cannot blame her for wanting revenge, we the people have abused her for too long.  Some of us (wish there were more- boo hoo) have actually been trying to help her all our lives. 

I guess there’s no way to predict what she’s up too, so we will just keep doing what we do – garden naturally, and hope for the best! 

Maybe I will put a totem up for her in the gardens to try to appease her – how’s this?

totem 1

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DO YOU REMEMBER, OH WAIT, WHAT, – SQUIRREL?

/ helbergfarmstories / 5 Comments

Doug from UP(click here if you don’t get the Squirrel bit)

I maybe oldish but there are many benefits to age these days. One of the biggest benefits of my age is memory. No, I am not joking here (but it is funny – LOL), the adage is as you get older you lose your memory. Well, yes and no on that one.

I subscribe to MNN (Mother Nature Network), and one of their recent articles made me think: 7 Signs we are too dependent on technology. The sub-headline is the question: Remember when you actually knew your friends’ phone numbers? What remember? I still do know most all of my family and closest friends phone numbers, and even some addresses. Maybe it’s the math geek in me (or my OCD on lists of all kinds), but I have always been good at numbers. Who would have thought that I had any space left up there? (Hee, Hee!)

remember

They then go on to talk about how much we depend on our internet, buy things through it blah-blah-blah…same old stuff. The other items on the list were also things that I had heard before and knew… BUT… the 3rd question really hit home for me. You don’t live in the moment. It was right! I have been so worried about getting the “picture” I was actually missing out on a large amount of other things going on around me.

I needed that shot of the bird in the bush, but missed the silly walk day my grandson and sister were doing. Those types of memories only happen in that rare moment of time, and then are gone forever.

silly walks

Now, just today 2-29-16, I went so cleverly to the local Post Office to mail a simple package to my other sister in Aurora – and what dummy put the wrong zip code on the label – yep, that would be me (yes, I am laughing hysterically at myself as I type this)! Got the name, street address, city and state just perfect – no cheating with an address book for me. Then slapped on MY zip code without even batting an eye. Took getting it all the way to the very smart Postal Lady to figure out just how “duh” I had been. At least, we both got a great laugh out of it (she had to point it out to me twice – double duh, for not paying attention).

So my Pre-Saint Pats day resolution (yep ½ Irish and proud of it – not sure mom would be right now – ha, ha, ha) – LIVE IN THE MOMENT – YA IDIOT! Stop my swirling brain long enough to get what’s going on right in front of me.

Funny, I still remember a time when I used to be proud of thinking and doing several things at one time – Multi Tasking – not no more, apple core – who’s your friend – ME! (Yes, that last bit is a Disney reference – check it out here! Hee, Hee) OH SURE – I remember the quote from a childhood memory, but can’t tell you what I had for lunch yesterday? Ok, I watch too many cartoons, so shoot me!

chip n dale

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WHAT’S HAPPENED TO EVERYONE?

/ helbergfarmstories / 6 Comments

First: Anyone that tries to tell me that the moon has no connection to our mental and emotional state should be shut down instantly! I firmly believe that it does effect us! Don’t you?
My recent Farmers Almanac update had an article titled: February’s Full Snow Moon. This happened on Monday of this week (2/22/16). It is supposed to be, traditionally, the coldest day of the year. Well, normally here in Colorado I would say “yes, that’s us” – but not this year. It was cooler than it has been, but not our norm by a long shot! We are even supposed to get up to the 70’s again this Saturday – way too freaky!
My bigger concern today is not about the temperature outside, but the mental and emotional attitudes inside. All the blogs I opened up this morning were either sad, angry or depressing. So I think it is the moon’s fault!
Well, here is what I have seen since the “snow moon” started its cycle:

  • Guinea races around the house (Top “spring fever” activity – too funny to watch! One day I have to get a pic of their spinning.)

running guineas

  • Chickens rolling in the dirt like they usually do in spring (One of our other fun “spring fever” activities, cuz they are also fun to watch doing it. We know it is to get rid of bugs, but they look like they are luvin every minute of it!)

dusting chickens in dirt

  • Male cats strutting after the trampy female cats (then again, this goes on almost year around – lol)

cats in love

  • Wild birds flying around all Twitter painted (love that phrase from Bambi)

twiter painted

  • And don’t get me started on our wild rabbits (doing what rabbits do so well!) – the biggest difference this week is their noses must be ultra-sensitive. Every time I saw one get poked in the nose, it did a type of twisty jump then ran away and back all squirrely.

bouncin bunnies

Not sure why all the humans are getting so testy unless their inner caveman is being suppressed too much?

cavemen

Maybe too many just don’t realize they are doing it? Sorry guys but my goal this year is to “don’t worry, be HAPPY” so that is my plan! Gonna try to lighten the load on some of you with this bit of blogging, hope it works!?

goofy smile face
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