things to make you smile

QUOTE CHALLENGE – DAY 3, Thanx Oscar Wilde!

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This one is actually a quote from Oscar Wilde

No good deed plack

 Perfect example:

Good Samaritan

I know there are those of you out there who still believe that good deeds will be rewarded.  You go right on believing that if it makes you feel good.  As for me, not a chance.

I do believe and follow the following:

  • Do unto others as you would have them do unto you (this one gets tricky)
  • An eye for an eye (and I usually am not the one doing the “for an eye” bit – but I have been lucky enough to witness the results – woo hoo!)
  • Bad things come in 3’s (or 4’s or 5’s or 6’s…)
  • Smile, it makes people wonder what you are up to. (This was from my mother.  She would do this to people she didn’t like just cuz it would freak them out – LOL)
  • Murphy’s Laws: For those of you that are not familiar with it:

murphys laws

If you are not laughing with me by now, you need to see your doctor.  Life is just too darn short not to push harder to see the humor in as much of it as possible!

Laugh on people, laugh on!!

laugh wrinkles  i said trim

(now that’s funny!)

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QUOTE CHALLENGE DAY 2 – GROW OR DIE.

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Grow or Die – this may sound a bit harsh, but it is what we live by on the farm.  Obtained it from our parents when we were kids growing up on an 80-acre farm in Wisconsin.  If any of you have been lengthy gardeners and/or farmers you may understand this.

“GROW OR DIE!”

4-25-16 onion plot

 

Now, the thing you have to realize on this is, that we say it with a very firm voice to everything on the farm!  There is no time or room for pleasantries, politeness, or pampering (although the last one wins out on occasion).

The funny thing about it – IT WORKS!?!

We have found that if you try to plant something and use too much T.L.C. – it fails.  Transplanting, seed starting, trimming – all of it gets attacked and told to either “Grow or Die!”  We don’t have time to fiddle around with “maybe I will, maybe I won’t” attitudes around here. (yes, I am LMAO while typing this, just cuz it’s true!)

(FYI – to add to your humor consideration, the pic above was my beautiful onion plot after I spent a  whole, hot day laying down newspaper, dragging over tons of our homemade compost and sticking my bulbs into it with appropriate spacing.  By the very next morning, the guineas and chickens had torn it to shreds.  LIFE LESSON # 5BILLION: Either fence it off well or put it in the greenhouse – duh! LMAO – they died – lol)

 

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I HATE BEING SIDE-TRACKED!

/ helbergfarmstories / 6 Comments

I used to be able to plan things. I can’t anymore. My resolution this year is to put more laughter back into my life. Now who would have thought that could be such a hard thing to do? My family, by nature, is made up of a bunch of class clowns. Our parents (because of my grandparents I’m sure) make sure that we were raised with a sense of humor.

I have been trying desperately to “go with the flow” of things this year; that’s not working either. Too many things are causing me to be side-tracked. Uninvited, or better, unexpected circumstances. Example:

•The fire across the street on an extremely windy day.
•The kid from another state broken down in our driveway.
•Getting sucked into helping a broken-down kid (for two months now – grr).
•Child uprooting their life – AGAIN.
•Hot weather – wet weather – cold weather – dry weather – windy weather – no wind weather – ALL IN ONE WEEK.
•Grasshoppers from hell and barn fowl that would rather dig up my potatoes than eat them?

These, from a distance, may not seem like much, but when they are hitting all together at the same time – ENOUGH ALREADY! Time for a really – REALLY – deep breath…

HAPPY – HAPPY – JOY – JOY

snoopy n charlie brown happy joy

I have decided to fight back at all my “Unexpected’s” starting today!  So I, Rachel Helberg, do at this moment initiate the following rules into my life (again):

1.More Laughter.  This will be brought about by the following:

  • Stop longer during barn fowl feeding time and actually watch all the baby birds at play.  We have both baby chickens and baby guinea birds.  They are all in a variety of colors, and some are now old enough to chase bugs – NOW THAT’S FUNNY!  Try not to laugh when a couple of chicks are chasing a grasshopper that is almost as big as them.
  • Pick off one of my new fresh tomatoes and instead of bringing it in for processing, sit down and gobble the whole thing all by myself.  Let it squirt out and drool down my front (it’s my farm shirt anyway – already dirty – lol).
  • Watch the wild barn kittens play whack-a-mole with each other on a wood pile.
  • Stop and look around more – there are so many great things to see and laugh at and will be missed if I don’t stop to enjoy them.
  • Stay up till after dark and look up – remember what stars look like?!?
  • Get the water squirt guns out more and nail my grandson before he gets me (ya, usually don’t get this one right – lol).

2. JUST SAY “NO”… to the following

Life suckers.  These are the people that slowly suck the life out of you.  Unfortunately, they are usually hooked in before you even know they are attacking.  They approach you so gently, innocently, and sneaky (was going to say sneakily – but I don’t think that’s a word?).  Before you know it, they have you doing all kinds of things you really do not want to do.

  • I don’t want to drive you somewhere because you are too lazy to walk.
  • I don’t want to run you around because you lost your license.
  • I don’t want to give you our food because you blew all your money on a tattoo instead of getting your own food.
  • I don’t want to wait on my laundry because you don’t think to finish yours.

The above are just examples of ways I get “sucked in” to doing stuff because I am (so I’ve been told) too nice.  This becomes a major emotional conflict for me.  I want to believe and follow the “do unto others” scenario, but there are now too many others in life that are completely unfamiliar that statement.  So how do I turn it off?  AND – do I want to turn it off?  We have seen that there are good people out there, and hope we are in that group.  But how do you spot the “Suckers” and stop them before they drain you into vampire-ism (you know – lifeless).

 creapy face

3. More Self Meditating (NOT MEDICATING – although that’s a thought too – hee hee)

I did have a ritual in the evening that I developed in which I took 1-hour before bed to just sit quietly and contemplate nothing.  I KNOW – SOUNDS CRAZY RIGHT?  Not really.  It is very relaxing and refreshing at the same time.  I listen to myself breathe, thinking about purple cows (this trick is from a very good family friend).  Try it – there is no such thing in the world as a purple cow, so you really have to focus to try to picture one.  This little trick manages to push back all the jumbled mess I had rolling around up there from the day and force it to drift away.  (FYI – one bit of helpful info before you try this – – – make sure you write down any/everything you need to remember for the future.  If you don’t it may slip away from you – lmao – yes, happened to me a lot until I set a notepad beside my meditating area – duh!)

Hopefully, these three little changes will bring back my laughter.  My sister has been helping a ton with our Friday Night Game Night.  We started this for my Grandson.  It is our special family time to just play games.  It doesn’t matter what they are as long as we are doing it all together.  The current favs are Yahtzee and Trouble.  Have to admit that a couple of beers and a game of Yahtzee can be very therapeutic.  Especially when you start bringing up stupid things from your past like “how did we survive being kids?”  Now there are some funny stories….for another day!

biker on pink bike

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LOOK, LOOK, LOOK…

/ helbergfarmstories / 12 Comments

We (it runs in the whole family) have a bad habit of taking in strays of all kinds.  The worst is plants!

The last five years we have been nurturing several ground cherry bushes that we purchased at a local auction.  A greenhouse grower in Nebraska was going out of business.  He brought a ton of trees and bushes to our little local auction (it may look small, but they get buyers from all over the world – via online networking).  Since we are small, chemical-free, farmers; of course we had to check it all out.

We bought four of the sad looking things.  One died the very first year.  The other three apparently loved the spots we picked out for them, they survived.  Well this year we received a very thrilling surprise:

ground cherry 2

A GROUND CHERRY!  Woo hoo!

Now this might not seem like much to most of you, but to a chemical free small farmer – it’s HUGE!  It is a sign that we are doing something right.  Now, the funny part…

ground cherry 1 6-20

The largest two of the three remaining bushes only have one cherry each?  The third one has several cherries on it.  According to my sister, “They are yummy!”

I guess we must be doing something right on our little piece of heaven.  The bushes were dried up sticks when we bought them, and now they are amazing!  They have always been a pretty bush (you can see the deep greens and maroons), I just never thought they were strong enough ever to produce fruit.  Surprise, surprise!

I know a lot of you may not see the joy in this, but anyone that has been, is or aspires to be any type of grower will appreciate the significance of this miracle.

I do not think my sisters, and I will ever outgrow taking in weak, pitiful, unusual things (our older sister prefers straggly, stray scrawny cats – she strives to feed the world’s critters – lol).  In the long run, I think this is good.  Every once in a while, it provides me with proof that it is the right thing to do, such as these bushes.

silly cat

 

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By George, I Think We Got It – Maybe?

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Well, we finally got to it.  Cleaned up the first major plot (it’s about 20’ long, 2-1/2’ wide) using the “weedless gardening method”.  Corn, beans, and cucs (The Three Sisters) are in here.  We are about a month late on the corn, so it will be interesting to see how it grows.

corn beans cucs weedless plot.jpg

The high grassy area next to this one is actually 2 more plots and two more walkways.  I still find it amazing how fast the weeds can come back.  The posts to the east of that area mark where the raspberries are.  We just started them a couple of years ago, but they are also filled with weeds.  East of that is three more walkways with two rows of field fencing (for those that do not know – that is fence about 4 feet high made up of 4”x4” squares, non-electric) which once held dozens of heirloom tomato plants.  We have the plants safe in the greenhouse, but they must come out soon – getting too big for their britches in there, sneaky buggers.

The potatoes that I started the weedless gardening method on are doing outstanding, even by the horseradish:

horseraddish n tadders 6-2-16.jpg

There are weeds around the plot, but only a small amount actually in the plot.  The potatoes are about 10” high already- woohoo.  Oh, and, yes, that is our horseradish at the top.  It is getting ready to flower, which is a first for us.  We have had it for several years now.  IT decided where “it” was going to be planted (true story).  We had it about 10 feet to the east of this spot originally.  It began spreading to the west all on its own.  Not as bad as the mint, mind you, but moving non-the-less. (Hee hee, maybe I should write a scary movie based on this? Lol).  It finally settled here, so we created a plot just for it.  Happily, it has not tried to run away to another spot since settling here.

Then we have these wild beauties:

widdows tears 6-2-16.jpg

We call them Widows Tears.  The pinkish/purple stems explode open first, looking like they are done – but wait – a green pod forms on the ends of the stems and this beautiful blue flower with yellow center opens up.  They do not last long, but the bees love them.  There are not thousands of them, but they do manage to scatter about a lot.

This is one of the bee favs:

catnip mint 6-2-16.jpg

It’s catnip mint (also a fav for our barn kitties when I am not in the garden).  Can you spot the bee?  There were several bees at that corner of the plant (stands about 2 feet high), but they would not stop moving about – grrr, ha ha!

This amazing thing (amazing that it is alive) resides in the front yard:

orange bush 6-2-16.jpg

A local hardware store was going to throw away some end-of-year stuff a couple of years back.  We happened to be there and made an offer on several of the bushes.  Most looked like they were dead, but we managed to salvage several.  This wonder is one of the saved.  Have no clue what it is, but it is about 4 feet high, and it gets these beautiful white/yellow flowers about the size of a quarter.  They smell like oranges?!  One of the others that we saved was the blue sea mist that all the butterflies loved last fall (here is the post: Where did they all come from?. If you want to see our little miracle bush.)

Well, here are my wishes for you all today:

  • No more severe storms, pretty sure we are all fed up with them (time to do our naked dance around the fire pit in the middle of the night – eeek, oh no – no one wants to see that!)
  • All the plants that you are putting in late like ours, will grow excellently (is that a word?)
  • You get just enough rain and sunshine to stuff your pantries with your own food in the fall.
  • And, most important, you have fun doing it all!

Well, I’m going back out now to try to tackle the other ½ of our 5 acres – me and my “Knight in Shining Armor” –  riding John Deere mower – woo hoo!  Nothing runs like a Deere, especially me!

Happy Green Thumbing!

burgandy bearded iris 5-30-16.jpg

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What’s better than wild skies and Barry White?

/ helbergfarmstories / 2 Comments

Doing my normal early morning routine of weeding (non-stop physical activity, like it or not, it has to be done), and I happened to glance to the west.  This is what I saw:

DSC_0001 (2)

DSC_0002 (2)

The camera just doesn’t do them justice.  The clouds looked like upside-down rolling mountains.  Now this is a first for me.  I have seen some outstanding clouds out here in Colorado.  I’m pretty sure that being up in altitude as some part in it, but these were so different.

We have some major storms coming in again this afternoon, so I am keeping an eye on them.  Just thankful that I looked up at the moment I did.  Now it is just getting all dark, windy and the clouds are back to their normal swirling confusion of:

  • Let’s go this way.
  • No, we want to go that way. 
  • We just want to be ahead of everyone else. 
  • Maybe we will just stop and hold every cloud up!

Then, just as I thought I was really getting into them (Completely spaced out the weeding now.), I heard Barry White on my radio (yes, I garden with music – the plants told me they love it!).  I began singing along with You’re The First, The Last, My Everything.

Then the peacock decided to come up and join me (pretty sure it was NOT my singing).

peacock 2014

You can tell by his feathers that the wind was not being kind.  He was trying to face me.  He thinks he is so pretty – snob!

The wind then took my bucket full of weed bits and tossed it across the yard.  I took that as a hint to sit, observe my space (so much yet to do, and I’m pretty sure it will still be there tomorrow), continue my duet with Barry and call it quits on weeding today.

Hope my happy gardening spreads to you all.  What’s the point of having one if you can’t enjoy it?!

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HAVE YOU NOTICED THE CHANGES?

/ helbergfarmstories / 19 Comments

I would love to get some input here please!

Has anyone else noticed any weather, seasonal, insect, reptile, bird, or critter changes?  I’m not really talking about the change in an insect or animal itself, but more in their natural movements.

We have noticed lots of little changes over the last few years.  Small things like when the Robins show up in spring (This last year they never left, and we had a very unusual winter here.).  We already have seen a full size flying grasshopper, and a large number of butterflies – – they are not supposed to be here for a while yet?  Usually the tiny baby browns show up first.  Then the multi-colored one-inch-ers (yes that is a word in my dictionary – ha ha).  But not this year, the big ones are just here – AND FLYING?!

flying hopper 1    flying hopper 2

The weather has been strange enough, but the oddities in the critters is just wacko (yep, another Rachels’ dictionary addition).

  • Mega blizzards in April that did not go away in 3-days or less.
  • An opossum right up in our yard just after one of those blizzards.
  • Grasshoppers at least a month too soon.
  • Robins that never left.
  • Barn Swallows before all the leaves on the trees are out.
  • No foxes or coyote’s – not a sound.

These are just a few of the strange things we have noticed.

I know that some can be blamed on the ocean current patterns, but that seems to mainly affect the weather.  I also know about tectonic plate shifts.  That may be why there have been (or seems to be) more volcanoes erupting.  But how do you explain all the critters?

volcano

Their natural instincts are way better than mine.  I just get the feeling that they are trying to tell me, or us, something and we are not listening.

see and understand sign

So, my hope here is that some of you will have a response for me.  Are you having the same issues?  Have you even noticed anything different?

Ok, before you all freak out and want to have me committed, NO – I AM NOT A DOOMSDAY PREPPER!  I do believe in being prepared (it’s the 4-H-er in me), but no end of the world stuff yet (Oh and we love watching The Walking Dead – the human condition side of it is awesome!).  I/we do things like canning, buying in bulk on major stuff like coffee, sugar, flour, toilet paper etc.  We have our own chickens for meat and eggs.  A cow is in our field right now and half of it will be in our freezer by winter.

We are striving to get off the grid, just because we like to be independent.  Everything takes time and money to obtain, so we just move along one step at a time.  But the critters are freaking me out!  Normal patterns do not seem “normal” anymore.

Please let me know that I’m not crazy (ok, just tell me gently if I am – LOL)!  Do you see what I see?

owl peek

 

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WHEN I GET AROUND TO IT

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My mother had a quick, fantastic wit!  Fortunately, her three daughters carry on the tradition.  I (to this day) am always saying, “When I get around to it.” “As soon as I can get around to it.”  Well, my mother (bless her soul) took this very literally one year for Christmas.  She liked to go “junking” for Christmas gifts…2nd hand stores, flea markets, and whatever little side street hidden treasure spot she could find.  She found these during one of her excursions:

ROUNDTOITS

Not the rod ends but the old wooden circle thingies to hang your curtain on.  (This pic is from Ebay because mine were lost in the fire.)  These old round beauties are exactly what I saw when I opened the box.

She placed them in a nice old wooden bowl that she also found on one of her junking trips.  Inside the bowl, on top of the wooden circles was a card (like a business card) that simply stated:

Now you cannot say when you get a “roundtoit,” here is a whole bowl full of them.  Hope you get your projects done at last.  Love Mom

My Christmas gift was the highlight of the season that year.

I just wanted to share this little tidbit with you so that you will never let that phrase escape your head again (sharing is caring!).  I still say it.  I have heard tons of younger people say it.  I am sure that most of you have said, or will say it.  However, you now cannot avoid the physical implications of putting something off for the sake of not having a roundtoit anymore.

Aahhh, one of the life’s great lessons shared with the world – enjoy!

Minion mom quote

(From my Pinterest board: Just for fun and smiles)

Pretty sure I need a new HUGE bowl full of them now! 

When I get around to it. LOL

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TO WHOM DO I OWE THIS ROTTEN “MANEUVER?”

/ helbergfarmstories / 4 Comments

Yes, it is a maneuver (For anyone that has ever watched Eddie Izzard stand-up comedy – this is perfectly stated here)! Someone somewhere has decreed that you must gain weight back quickly after it has cost you great time, pain, and effort to get it off! Jerks!!

I do not normally give a flying monkey butt about what people think about me or the way I look. I have fun!! When I dig in the dirt, I get dirty. When I clean the house, I get dusty. When I build or tear apart something for the farm, I get hot and (yes girls) sweaty. You would think that with all of that going on I would be the size of a twig – Nooot!

It is my birthday today! I now have the following:

  • Right shoulder – complete reverse replacement.
  • Left shoulder – gut/clean-up for bone spurs.
  • Right and left shoulder both – front tendons cut due to arthritis pulling them too far forward. (can lift things to a point, not as much weight and not at a certain angle – unfortunately, coffee pots are at the angle so now it takes two hands for my morning boost – boo hoo!)
  • Both knees – complete replacements.
  • Half my left foot – replaced with a metal plate, pins and joints.
  • All of the above due to osteoarthritis – oh lucky me!

Oops, almost forgot

  • Left index finger – half amputated from a severe infection (never try this one at home kiddies). The only bummers with this one are my typing (used to be over 100 wpm, not no more) and my yarn work (though this part is sometimes fun to watch – pick up the yarn with your left index finger and maneuver it over the needle – ya right?!). Luckily can still dig in the dirt!

All of the stuff bulleted above happened within a 1-year time and began just a couple months after our fire loss of 2014. Oddly enough, I am in a happy, happy, joy, joy mood today – what’s up with that?

peanuts happy dance

Before all of this hit, I had lost over 40 pounds doing physically hard work and my new jobs, which was the biggest thrill of doing them! It took over two years to get it down that much.

Well, I thought I was smart (idiot!), having the left foot done as soon as I was able to tolerate the left knee pain, but was semi-bed ridden for 3+ months for healing time. I was not allowed to put ANY pressure on the foot at all. I tried crutches – oops, not that coordinated (help, I fell and couldn’t get up because I couldn’t stop laughing at myself on the floor), then bought a “knee scooter” – BEST INVENTION EVER!!!

knee scooter

(you can see why he just had to fly around the house on it -p.s. love the basket!)

I got pretty good at the end of my 2nd month at whipping around on that hummer – weeee! My grandson loved it too, except he could actually sit on it and ride it around. Didn’t care until I needed to go to the bathroom, then somehow it was always out-of-reach? (little bugger!)

During this “down time,” I managed to gain back all the weight I worked so hard on getting off. My big question here is – why? I tried hard to watch what I ate, but the body decided it just did not like the idea of me lazin around.

It was a painfully long haul maneuvering (there’s that word again-grr), the metal and plastic parts. One of the first dumbest stunts was opening a door too fast and too far back! Swung that sucker wide and popped my right shoulder right out of socket – now doesn’t that just look pretty??!!! It sticks out like a 2nd head popping out of my shoulder. Can you say OUCH! Oh and here’s the other kicker – it doesn’t just “pop” back in – nooooo – I have to maneuver it around – gently – to get it to slide back in. Hard lesson learned real fast! (my father would be proud – “you dumb shit” – flew out of my mouth instantly, for those of you that don’t know, it was his pet name for me – and yes, I am laughing hysterically writing this!)

shoulder reverse replacement

(hee hee – picture that plate sliding right off that ball toward your chest – “dumb shit!” – LOL)

Yes, Mo (my outstanding Therapist, and he even knows how to guilt me like a dad – lol), I am doing my therapy! However, with two years of neglected gardens screaming at me, I can’t wait for my mess to heal. Throw on my shorts, head sweat band, grab my tools and to the gardens I go! I think I have subconsciously taught myself to watch how much I pick up, how I pick it up and how I maneuver (that wonderful “m” word once again attacks). So me, my metal and plastic parts, my wrinkles, and lightly graying hairs hope you all have such fun birthdays as this! (Oh, and it’s raining with a chance of snow – grr!)

cake silly face

 

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IT’S NOT SMART TO MESS WITH MOTHER NATURE-MAYBE?

/ helbergfarmstories / 2 Comments

This morning was a wakeup call for me and my attempts at taking pictures.  There had to be a couple of thousand Snow Geese flying north over out little farm and these are my shots:

3-3-16 snow geese 2

snow geese 1

3-3-16 snow geese 3

Pretty pitiful – but there are 2 major things wrong pertaining to these pictures:

1)      Winning a great Nikon D3200 Camera with extra DX lens does not make one an instant expert photographer

2)      All the Snow Geese flying north on March 3, 2016 is way abby-normal!

The first one I can fix by actually taking classes (I think they even have some online under Nikon?) to learn how to take better pics.  I could also splurge on a neat little video camera (Walmart has several to choose from, at pretty reasonable prices), then I could have also shared the cool sounds they were making with you.

The second one is the thought that worries me a bit.  This winter has been way to different, and I don’t think it’s just here in Colorado.  It’s normal to get 70 degrees one day and 30 the next from October through January, but to get 60+ and stay there IN FEBRUARY – and no Freeze at all –  now that’s just not normal.  We prep all year for the one to two week period of below freezing day and night, not this year.

Have I also told you that I am an amateur Nature Enthusiast?  I say amateur because I have never taken formal classes on the subject; however, I have lived on a working farm most of my life (My folks purchased the family farm when I was about 2, and my sister was born after we moved there so she has been at it since birth).

I am fascinated with all things nature and natural.  The critters that show up unexpectedly in our yard (can you say opossum!).  The deer that come out of the woods almost every sunset to frolic in the lower pasture (especially love watching in spring as they chase each other all around till dark).  The increasing numbers of good bugs that are showing up here every year (Praying Mantis, Ladybugs, Monarch Butterflies – and some are endangered species).  We do not use chemicals of any kind on our property, so maybe we have become the Favorite Bug Restaurant for the good guys (I can only hope!)?  Who knows why they come, I’m just glad the come.

The numbers of sightings have increase about 10-fold since we purchased our little property in 2000.  Then again we cannot take all the credit, the first 3 years we were here were the worst drought years Colorado had seen in 100+ years.  That may have been a contributing factor (oh sure, blame the drought).  However, all I know is that they are here now and in growing numbers.

So the geese flying north in masses makes me wonder what old (yes she is “old”) Mother Nature is up to now?

Mother Nature 1

Is she in a playful mood and deciding to bring a nice early spring?  Is she in a vengeful mood and going to trick us into thinking it is nice, then zap us with a wicked deep freeze in April (after everything is in bloom of course – happened before and not long ago.)?  I cannot blame her for wanting revenge, we the people have abused her for too long.  Some of us (wish there were more- boo hoo) have actually been trying to help her all our lives. 

I guess there’s no way to predict what she’s up too, so we will just keep doing what we do – garden naturally, and hope for the best! 

Maybe I will put a totem up for her in the gardens to try to appease her – how’s this?

totem 1

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