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WHEN I GET AROUND TO IT

/ helbergfarmstories / 3 Comments

My mother had a quick, fantastic wit!  Fortunately, her three daughters carry on the tradition.  I (to this day) am always saying, “When I get around to it.” “As soon as I can get around to it.”  Well, my mother (bless her soul) took this very literally one year for Christmas.  She liked to go “junking” for Christmas gifts…2nd hand stores, flea markets, and whatever little side street hidden treasure spot she could find.  She found these during one of her excursions:

ROUNDTOITS

Not the rod ends but the old wooden circle thingies to hang your curtain on.  (This pic is from Ebay because mine were lost in the fire.)  These old round beauties are exactly what I saw when I opened the box.

She placed them in a nice old wooden bowl that she also found on one of her junking trips.  Inside the bowl, on top of the wooden circles was a card (like a business card) that simply stated:

Now you cannot say when you get a “roundtoit,” here is a whole bowl full of them.  Hope you get your projects done at last.  Love Mom

My Christmas gift was the highlight of the season that year.

I just wanted to share this little tidbit with you so that you will never let that phrase escape your head again (sharing is caring!).  I still say it.  I have heard tons of younger people say it.  I am sure that most of you have said, or will say it.  However, you now cannot avoid the physical implications of putting something off for the sake of not having a roundtoit anymore.

Aahhh, one of the life’s great lessons shared with the world – enjoy!

Minion mom quote

(From my Pinterest board: Just for fun and smiles)

Pretty sure I need a new HUGE bowl full of them now! 

When I get around to it. LOL

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I’VE GOT A DREAM…

/ helbergfarmstories / 11 Comments

I have been having this on-going dream/fantasy of the “great escape!”  I love our farm, but sometimes it would be great if we could just do a mini-vacation.  I’m thinking of some type of 3-day to 1-week away session.  The biggest concern with these thoughts is my grandson.  He is only 7 and has some issues and a very traumatic life so far.  We try to keep the consistency going, so trips of any kind can throw him off whack.

Well, in going through my dream, I have come up with a thought that will not leave my head – – – an RV or conversion van!  Ta-da!

Ok, now let’s hear it!  There must be someone out there that has done this and has opinions?  I need to hear them all – pro and con, please.  This thought will not leave my head.  I learned long ago that when you have something that keeps tickling at the back of your brain, it’s a hint that you should follow through with that idea.

I’m thinking something like this:

dream van

But since we will be renting it, pretty sure I would get stuck with more like this:

trashed van

Not bad, just not right.  My grandson is a computer-aholic, ADHD wizard.  We must be able to provide that mental stimulation while on the road.  Thought about rigging a cattle prod under his seat and when he gets too wild, give him a little jolt.  Then I realized that someone might consider that child abuse, so that and the pet carrier are out.  (yes, I am just kidding – more laughter this year remember?)

beeker eeek

So I am now open for suggestions, please!  We are looking at everything from Mesa Verde to upper Michigan for our trips.  Could be a 3 to 4-day extended weekend, or possibly 7-10-day week long trip.  Please share with me what you find as “great family fun” in your neck-of-the-woods.  I’m need help here people (sometimes it’s really tough being an old fart – hee hee)!  The only stipulation I have is that it must be drivable (sorry, no flying for this gardener – love my feet on the ground too much).

 

 

 

 

WHAT WAS YOUR LAST SURPRISE?

/ helbergfarmstories / 6 Comments

I went out, as normal, last Wednesday morning to do the morning chores thingy. A few of the idiot guineas did not want to go in from the night before, so they were left out (can you say coyote bait?). Well, they were squawking up a storm, which usually means an uninvited visitor. Most times it is a fox or coyote and by the time I hear the ruckus someone is already a meal-deal.

Low and behold this is what I saw:

wild turkey 3

Sorry, it is a bit blurry, he was about 50 yards from the front pen and would not stop moving.

Then Thursday morning I found this (about 20 feet away from me):

wild turkey 1

Here’s another view in the same spot:

wild turkey 2

Check out the colors – amazing! He was now right up in our pens. I let our “boys” out (it’s only one extra rooster – Buddy, and one red turkey- Whiskey) and the boys decided to have a flirt-off.   All they did was follow each other around for about 3 hours, fanning and un-fanning their tail feathers – funny to watch though!

Our turkey,

Whiskey 4-20-16

Is of course much bigger, fatter and goofier than his wild cousin. Whiskey will follow me all over the yards and gardens when I am working outside. The Wild Thing proved that they are just as dense as domestics. We live right by an on-ramp to the highway. Wild Thing likes to walk our lane down to the field, except one morning he wanted a detour.

The stupid bird followed ON the road along the on-ramp fence line – eeek! My sister and I stood and watched for about 30 minutes. Every single vehicle didn’t matter the size, which came up on him he would fluff and strut right out in front of it!? The vehicles would slow down, come to a full stop, then slowly make their way around him. It was hysterical to watch. Then again, we also know the secret to him and his car heists…simply step out of the car (yes, I am still laughing out loud on this) and he runs like a scared chicken! Go figure? A 2 to 5-ton vehicle does not feel like a threat to him (even though it could turn him into Thanksgiving dinner in a heartbeat), but a two-legged human makes him duck-and-cover (yes, I am pun-ing all over the place – and not apologizing for it either, hee hee). He eventually gave up on his Goliaths’ and sauntered back down into the field, eventually back into the woods.

Today is now a week since he first ventured up and he is still doing it. I took my grandson to school today, came back home about 8 am; he met me at the gate to the driveway. I saw him in this field as I left fanning at a plastic bag stuck in the wire fence. I drove around to the fence at which point he came charging after my car. The minute I opened the door he screeched to a halt – watching me. I ventured a glance his way and softly spoke, “Hi Pretty Boy, want to come play with our birds?” He didn’t answer, just watched as I grabbed the bag, went back into my car, and drove back by the chicken coop. I decided to let the boys out again this morning, and as of this moment, he took me up on my offer and is back chasing with our Whiskey again.

I really do love our unexpected visitors – especially when they are wild ones. Oh, and, Arlene; you will be happy to know that we now have three new baby bunnies enjoying the fruits of our labors in our gardens. (They are about 4-5” long and no I do not have the heart to terminate them. As much as I hate them eating our efforts, I have decided to do some better fencing instead. Big Giant Pansie that I am, especially with anything “baby” critter-ish. You all can laugh at me now!)

bb bunny

Happy spring gardening! May you have your own uninvited visitors!

(P.S.  If you are not giggling wildly by now, go back and visit Whiskey’s pic – see that HUGE breast on him?  You should see it wobble when he gets excited and runs!  Then again, most of him wobbles when he runs.)

 

 

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TO WHOM DO I OWE THIS ROTTEN “MANEUVER?”

/ helbergfarmstories / 4 Comments

Yes, it is a maneuver (For anyone that has ever watched Eddie Izzard stand-up comedy – this is perfectly stated here)! Someone somewhere has decreed that you must gain weight back quickly after it has cost you great time, pain, and effort to get it off! Jerks!!

I do not normally give a flying monkey butt about what people think about me or the way I look. I have fun!! When I dig in the dirt, I get dirty. When I clean the house, I get dusty. When I build or tear apart something for the farm, I get hot and (yes girls) sweaty. You would think that with all of that going on I would be the size of a twig – Nooot!

It is my birthday today! I now have the following:

  • Right shoulder – complete reverse replacement.
  • Left shoulder – gut/clean-up for bone spurs.
  • Right and left shoulder both – front tendons cut due to arthritis pulling them too far forward. (can lift things to a point, not as much weight and not at a certain angle – unfortunately, coffee pots are at the angle so now it takes two hands for my morning boost – boo hoo!)
  • Both knees – complete replacements.
  • Half my left foot – replaced with a metal plate, pins and joints.
  • All of the above due to osteoarthritis – oh lucky me!

Oops, almost forgot

  • Left index finger – half amputated from a severe infection (never try this one at home kiddies). The only bummers with this one are my typing (used to be over 100 wpm, not no more) and my yarn work (though this part is sometimes fun to watch – pick up the yarn with your left index finger and maneuver it over the needle – ya right?!). Luckily can still dig in the dirt!

All of the stuff bulleted above happened within a 1-year time and began just a couple months after our fire loss of 2014. Oddly enough, I am in a happy, happy, joy, joy mood today – what’s up with that?

peanuts happy dance

Before all of this hit, I had lost over 40 pounds doing physically hard work and my new jobs, which was the biggest thrill of doing them! It took over two years to get it down that much.

Well, I thought I was smart (idiot!), having the left foot done as soon as I was able to tolerate the left knee pain, but was semi-bed ridden for 3+ months for healing time. I was not allowed to put ANY pressure on the foot at all. I tried crutches – oops, not that coordinated (help, I fell and couldn’t get up because I couldn’t stop laughing at myself on the floor), then bought a “knee scooter” – BEST INVENTION EVER!!!

knee scooter

(you can see why he just had to fly around the house on it -p.s. love the basket!)

I got pretty good at the end of my 2nd month at whipping around on that hummer – weeee! My grandson loved it too, except he could actually sit on it and ride it around. Didn’t care until I needed to go to the bathroom, then somehow it was always out-of-reach? (little bugger!)

During this “down time,” I managed to gain back all the weight I worked so hard on getting off. My big question here is – why? I tried hard to watch what I ate, but the body decided it just did not like the idea of me lazin around.

It was a painfully long haul maneuvering (there’s that word again-grr), the metal and plastic parts. One of the first dumbest stunts was opening a door too fast and too far back! Swung that sucker wide and popped my right shoulder right out of socket – now doesn’t that just look pretty??!!! It sticks out like a 2nd head popping out of my shoulder. Can you say OUCH! Oh and here’s the other kicker – it doesn’t just “pop” back in – nooooo – I have to maneuver it around – gently – to get it to slide back in. Hard lesson learned real fast! (my father would be proud – “you dumb shit” – flew out of my mouth instantly, for those of you that don’t know, it was his pet name for me – and yes, I am laughing hysterically writing this!)

shoulder reverse replacement

(hee hee – picture that plate sliding right off that ball toward your chest – “dumb shit!” – LOL)

Yes, Mo (my outstanding Therapist, and he even knows how to guilt me like a dad – lol), I am doing my therapy! However, with two years of neglected gardens screaming at me, I can’t wait for my mess to heal. Throw on my shorts, head sweat band, grab my tools and to the gardens I go! I think I have subconsciously taught myself to watch how much I pick up, how I pick it up and how I maneuver (that wonderful “m” word once again attacks). So me, my metal and plastic parts, my wrinkles, and lightly graying hairs hope you all have such fun birthdays as this! (Oh, and it’s raining with a chance of snow – grr!)

cake silly face

 

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IT’S OFFICIALLY SPRING, BUT WHO INVITED THESE GUYS ALREADY?

/ helbergfarmstories / 7 Comments

We spend the weekend cleaning up the yard.  I say weekend, but it was really just Sunday.  Everything we touched on Saturday, just blew somewhere else.  (Some days I get really tired of the wind – grrr!  Sure, now-but in a couple of months I will be praying for a breeze – LOL!)  While cleaning up, I was not even thinking about all the “little critters” I was messing with.  They decided to remind me! 

This was on my hallway wall when I woke up:

1st moth in house 3-7-16

Our first Miller Moth – oh joy (she says sarcastically)!  I have extremely thick kinky hair and the buggers love to get stuck in it!  Nothing makes you say yuck faster than hearing the crunching of trying to get one untangled from your head – ugh!

I had placed all my dusty/dirty clothes into the wash last night.  I knew I was kicking up some old weeds when I was mowing some spots, but I just didn’t realize how many bugs I was scaring up as well.  One of these was at the bottom of my washer when the load was done:

soldier bug      stink bug         squash bug

Soldier Bug – good             Stink Bug – BAD                   Squash Bug – BAD

 

stink bug-look-a-likes

I say one of these, as it was so mushed from the wash that I couldn’t tell which type it was?  The first – Soldier Bug – is a goodie, but hard to tell from the Stink Bug (baddie).  The Squash Bug (also a baddie) has a completely different look but, when it is mush in your Kleenex, looks the same as the others (yucky!!)

The Soldier bug is also called a “Spinney” soldier bug, and it does look a lot more jagged than its counterpart, the stink bug.  Oh, and if you have ever had the unfortunate opportunity to get nailed by a Stink Bug, you will understand why it is named that – NASTY!  It is definitely a very different smell – blah!

My point for you all to ponder is – was it dead or alive before it went into the wash?  I have seen tons of Box Elder Beetles, a few flies, wasps, honey bees (this one is normal as we have boxes that stay on our property year around – think it helps to bring them out early?), and just yesterday a Ladybug!  I just didn’t think these three bugs would be out until it actually got warmer and stayed (like maybe June – haha, wishful thinking)?

So I have already started my “natural bug defense training” on my other blog,  www.gardenglowsbydesign.com/blog.  My plan on that one is to figure out which are the worst bugs out there, and how many different natural ways there are to either keep them at bay or destroy them all together.  We are a live-and-let-live kinda farm, but offense is the best defense.  So, ugly nasties beware – I am on the hunt for you all this year!

me fighting bad bugs (And yes – I do look like this when I am chasing down bad bugs in the gardens! LOL)

 

IT’S NOT SMART TO MESS WITH MOTHER NATURE-MAYBE?

/ helbergfarmstories / 2 Comments

This morning was a wakeup call for me and my attempts at taking pictures.  There had to be a couple of thousand Snow Geese flying north over out little farm and these are my shots:

3-3-16 snow geese 2

snow geese 1

3-3-16 snow geese 3

Pretty pitiful – but there are 2 major things wrong pertaining to these pictures:

1)      Winning a great Nikon D3200 Camera with extra DX lens does not make one an instant expert photographer

2)      All the Snow Geese flying north on March 3, 2016 is way abby-normal!

The first one I can fix by actually taking classes (I think they even have some online under Nikon?) to learn how to take better pics.  I could also splurge on a neat little video camera (Walmart has several to choose from, at pretty reasonable prices), then I could have also shared the cool sounds they were making with you.

The second one is the thought that worries me a bit.  This winter has been way to different, and I don’t think it’s just here in Colorado.  It’s normal to get 70 degrees one day and 30 the next from October through January, but to get 60+ and stay there IN FEBRUARY – and no Freeze at all –  now that’s just not normal.  We prep all year for the one to two week period of below freezing day and night, not this year.

Have I also told you that I am an amateur Nature Enthusiast?  I say amateur because I have never taken formal classes on the subject; however, I have lived on a working farm most of my life (My folks purchased the family farm when I was about 2, and my sister was born after we moved there so she has been at it since birth).

I am fascinated with all things nature and natural.  The critters that show up unexpectedly in our yard (can you say opossum!).  The deer that come out of the woods almost every sunset to frolic in the lower pasture (especially love watching in spring as they chase each other all around till dark).  The increasing numbers of good bugs that are showing up here every year (Praying Mantis, Ladybugs, Monarch Butterflies – and some are endangered species).  We do not use chemicals of any kind on our property, so maybe we have become the Favorite Bug Restaurant for the good guys (I can only hope!)?  Who knows why they come, I’m just glad the come.

The numbers of sightings have increase about 10-fold since we purchased our little property in 2000.  Then again we cannot take all the credit, the first 3 years we were here were the worst drought years Colorado had seen in 100+ years.  That may have been a contributing factor (oh sure, blame the drought).  However, all I know is that they are here now and in growing numbers.

So the geese flying north in masses makes me wonder what old (yes she is “old”) Mother Nature is up to now?

Mother Nature 1

Is she in a playful mood and deciding to bring a nice early spring?  Is she in a vengeful mood and going to trick us into thinking it is nice, then zap us with a wicked deep freeze in April (after everything is in bloom of course – happened before and not long ago.)?  I cannot blame her for wanting revenge, we the people have abused her for too long.  Some of us (wish there were more- boo hoo) have actually been trying to help her all our lives. 

I guess there’s no way to predict what she’s up too, so we will just keep doing what we do – garden naturally, and hope for the best! 

Maybe I will put a totem up for her in the gardens to try to appease her – how’s this?

totem 1

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DO YOU REMEMBER, OH WAIT, WHAT, – SQUIRREL?

/ helbergfarmstories / 5 Comments

Doug from UP(click here if you don’t get the Squirrel bit)

I maybe oldish but there are many benefits to age these days. One of the biggest benefits of my age is memory. No, I am not joking here (but it is funny – LOL), the adage is as you get older you lose your memory. Well, yes and no on that one.

I subscribe to MNN (Mother Nature Network), and one of their recent articles made me think: 7 Signs we are too dependent on technology. The sub-headline is the question: Remember when you actually knew your friends’ phone numbers? What remember? I still do know most all of my family and closest friends phone numbers, and even some addresses. Maybe it’s the math geek in me (or my OCD on lists of all kinds), but I have always been good at numbers. Who would have thought that I had any space left up there? (Hee, Hee!)

remember

They then go on to talk about how much we depend on our internet, buy things through it blah-blah-blah…same old stuff. The other items on the list were also things that I had heard before and knew… BUT… the 3rd question really hit home for me. You don’t live in the moment. It was right! I have been so worried about getting the “picture” I was actually missing out on a large amount of other things going on around me.

I needed that shot of the bird in the bush, but missed the silly walk day my grandson and sister were doing. Those types of memories only happen in that rare moment of time, and then are gone forever.

silly walks

Now, just today 2-29-16, I went so cleverly to the local Post Office to mail a simple package to my other sister in Aurora – and what dummy put the wrong zip code on the label – yep, that would be me (yes, I am laughing hysterically at myself as I type this)! Got the name, street address, city and state just perfect – no cheating with an address book for me. Then slapped on MY zip code without even batting an eye. Took getting it all the way to the very smart Postal Lady to figure out just how “duh” I had been. At least, we both got a great laugh out of it (she had to point it out to me twice – double duh, for not paying attention).

So my Pre-Saint Pats day resolution (yep ½ Irish and proud of it – not sure mom would be right now – ha, ha, ha) – LIVE IN THE MOMENT – YA IDIOT! Stop my swirling brain long enough to get what’s going on right in front of me.

Funny, I still remember a time when I used to be proud of thinking and doing several things at one time – Multi Tasking – not no more, apple core – who’s your friend – ME! (Yes, that last bit is a Disney reference – check it out here! Hee, Hee) OH SURE – I remember the quote from a childhood memory, but can’t tell you what I had for lunch yesterday? Ok, I watch too many cartoons, so shoot me!

chip n dale

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WHAT’S HAPPENED TO EVERYONE?

/ helbergfarmstories / 6 Comments

First: Anyone that tries to tell me that the moon has no connection to our mental and emotional state should be shut down instantly! I firmly believe that it does effect us! Don’t you?
My recent Farmers Almanac update had an article titled: February’s Full Snow Moon. This happened on Monday of this week (2/22/16). It is supposed to be, traditionally, the coldest day of the year. Well, normally here in Colorado I would say “yes, that’s us” – but not this year. It was cooler than it has been, but not our norm by a long shot! We are even supposed to get up to the 70’s again this Saturday – way too freaky!
My bigger concern today is not about the temperature outside, but the mental and emotional attitudes inside. All the blogs I opened up this morning were either sad, angry or depressing. So I think it is the moon’s fault!
Well, here is what I have seen since the “snow moon” started its cycle:

  • Guinea races around the house (Top “spring fever” activity – too funny to watch! One day I have to get a pic of their spinning.)

running guineas

  • Chickens rolling in the dirt like they usually do in spring (One of our other fun “spring fever” activities, cuz they are also fun to watch doing it. We know it is to get rid of bugs, but they look like they are luvin every minute of it!)

dusting chickens in dirt

  • Male cats strutting after the trampy female cats (then again, this goes on almost year around – lol)

cats in love

  • Wild birds flying around all Twitter painted (love that phrase from Bambi)

twiter painted

  • And don’t get me started on our wild rabbits (doing what rabbits do so well!) – the biggest difference this week is their noses must be ultra-sensitive. Every time I saw one get poked in the nose, it did a type of twisty jump then ran away and back all squirrely.

bouncin bunnies

Not sure why all the humans are getting so testy unless their inner caveman is being suppressed too much?

cavemen

Maybe too many just don’t realize they are doing it? Sorry guys but my goal this year is to “don’t worry, be HAPPY” so that is my plan! Gonna try to lighten the load on some of you with this bit of blogging, hope it works!?

goofy smile face
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LOOKIE WHAT I FOUND IN THE MIDDLE OF FEBRUARY!

/ helbergfarmstories / 4 Comments

We never clean up our leaves at the end of fall. They keep all of our flower beds, trees, and bushes nice and cozy until spring and add some great nutrients. Well, since it has been so abnormally warm out, we decided to start spring cleaning early.

The patio is always the first because it is where we do our resting and relaxing time. It took us 6 years to lay all the free brick (all we had to do was fetch it, clean it and place it)! We also didn’t follow normal patio ideas. We decided to go with the flow of the landscape instead of level it all off flat.

It turned out marvelous, however this year’s storms left us with an abundance of leaves and they were mashed down really well over everything.  Well, when spring cleaning hits, it’s time to find all the planting beds again. The whole front yard was still full of left-overs. The dill stalks, small bushes, and end-of-season flower left-overs all collect up the blown, mushy leaves. This made it hard to tell a plot from a brick.

The majority of the patio was easily picked up and swept. The area around the pond is a very different story. I got down on hand and knees (not easy to do after having both knees replaced – ouch) and worked my way slowly across the area. There are several smaller plots, as well as a couple of large ones.

So, it’s about 60 degrees, the sun is on me, I decided that sitting on the brick was easier than kneeling, and I was singing a song ( “If I had a million dollars” by the Barenaked Ladies – for those of you wondering) and working away. My method requires a small hand/whisk broom, gloves, a good pliers and my handy-dandy weed between the bricks tool (it’s like a razor or knife, but “L” shaped with a handle for easy manipulation). I was using my hand and broom to push back debris, then pile the excess to be shipped off to burn. Carefully checking each plot to make sure I left a heavy mulch layer, just because our nights still drop below freezing. Singing and working and lifted back a big pile of leaves and this is what I found:

DSC_0002 (1)

The tall spout is up about 2 inches! I was shocked! This normally does not happen until about the end of March (in a good year) or sometime in April – but here it is the middle of February!

I cleared out a bit in another nearby plot and discovered tulip sprouts – up about 1inch. What is going on?

The Boxelder bugs (or beetles) have been all over the south end of the house for the last 2 weeks. Not just one or two, but dozens:

Boxelderbugs

From what I have seen and know of these bugs, the only thing they seem to invade are our Elms. They are supposed to prefer Maple and Ash, neither of which is on our property – AND – they are not supposed to be out yet! When they are out, they prefer the sunny south side of our home. Occasionally I will find one or two inside the house, but that is very rare. Maybe because we encourage our spiders – LOL!

funny spider

We have a new skylight in our kitchen and all forms of critters love it – especially the spiders “It’s dinner time, chomp, chomp, chomp!” And we do not have to cook for them – woo hoo!

I know it’s been a wicked and wild winter again, but this is getting down right freakie-deekie! Always makes me a bit worried about what summer will bring – snow? LOL

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MY 2ND – WHATS UP WITH THIS?

/ helbergfarmstories / 8 Comments

The sun rises. The curtains are drawn. The damage – Act I Scene I:

windy night 2-19-16-1

The wind shows its ugly face again!

creapy face

This time, it was wicked enough to take out my grandson’s playset and part of our fence in the front yard.

windy night 2-19-16-2 (2)

The fence I can put up by myself fairly easily, but this playset is another story. The sucker’s heavy!

So the first part of this “fun” weekend will be spent on cleaning and fix up. The Wind and its might are not uncommon here in northeastern Colorado, but ones this strong do not normally happen until the heat of summer – very odd indeed!

So, trying to keep in the lighthearted humor mindset, here is my children’s rhyme to the wind (sing to Rain, Rain go away):

Wind, wind blow away,

Come back on a 90’s day! (Oh it won’t do that cuz it would be helpful then – ha ha)

Wind, wind blow away,

Cuz I want my fence to stay! (ya, sure – pretty sure it’s using our fence for target practice!)

Wind, wind blow away,

Let my grandson go to play! (When it’s warm outside, he should be on his playset!)

Wonder if it is listening to me? Maybe you all can help and chant this when it comes to your area. Who knows, maybe we can all chant and send up enough hot air to counter its mean effect! It’s a though?!?

stick kids playing

 
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