farm life

JUST BECAUSE YOU MADE ME LAUGH.

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JUST BECAUSE YOU MADE ME LAUGH.

In keeping with my New Year Resolution, this one is for Arlene (https://arlenedavidsully.wordpress.com) because she was the first to make me laugh today.

First we have – find the Praying Mantis:

PRAYING MANTIS 9-11-15

She found a great place to blend in with our Virginia Creeper.  They are popping up all over the place the last couple of years.  The one that is on this wheel against the house is the biggest:

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Yes, this most recent pic is during winter so it is crushed a bit, but you get the idea.  When it is mid-summer it completely covers the old metal wagon wheel, then starts traveling up the porch rails.

Then there is this:

my precious-cat pic

Which happens to be the exact same thing that our 2 Christmas newbies are doing.  The problem is that EVERYTHING is their precious – including my hair, my yarn and my pencils (one of the idiots loves to swipe them and then chew off the erasers?  Doesn’t eat them, just pulls them off and leaves them laying around the house?)

 

 

Last, but not least, in keeping with this years’ theme; one of the guineas has managed to get through the fence between our hens and the roosters – he is now dubbed Houdini!  I have no clue how he did it?  We never let all the girls and boys out together, and I have combed both sides of the coups only to find nothing – no visible means of escape.  Now the stupid bird can just stay with the boys – ha ha ha (it is funny cuz all he does is run up and down alongside the pen squawking at all the others to let him back in.)!   They look cool, are great critter hunters, but it is obvious they have a brain smaller than a pea.

So there are these:

guinea face 1                guinea face 2

How can you not laugh at something that looks like this?  They have a flat nob on their head like a dino would have had.  They run super-fast but never seem to know where they are going.  Their sound is like a bad squeaky wheel or door (really bad and really loud).  They do let you know if there is anything different in your yard, on the road, in the barn wherever.  They are also the best thing for catching grasshoppers, snakes, mice and other fast pesties in the gardens.  But when they do their circle dance it is hysterical (will try to catch a video of it this spring).

I hope this starts your Monday on a happier note!?

Happy Gardening!    guinea face 3

WHAT IS THIS? HINT – ITS NOT SNOW.

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fog day in herb garden

(the flash from my camera made it a lot brighter out than it was – only about 5:30 a.m. here)

Nope – it’s not snow.  Looked like it was to me at first then I saw this:

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Normally you can see the woods and the highway to the upper left very VERY clearly.  Not this day.  The longer I watched the more shaded the trees became until they completely disappeared (sadly the battery on my camera died-figures LOL)…it was FOG!!

We get fog quite often here.  When the weather comes down from the Rockies, dips deep into the foothills of Denver, then follows the Platte River out our way – we never know what it will bring/do.

This time was amazing.  We have snow on the ground already from a couple of good previous snows – but this was unusual.  The fog was so dense, wet, and heavy that it formed a layer on everything. 

Eventually, and unfortunately briefly, even the far fence line in this photo disappeared – can you say Twilight Zone again?? I encountered fog this thick once before back in Wisconsin.  I was about 19 years old, was heading from Plymouth to Sheboygan for an interview.  The fog came in so fast and so thick off of Lake Michigan that I had to open my door to see the center line.  Of course, the chicken that I am when it comes to driving blind, I then turned around and changed my appointment.

It’s a very creepy feeling when you cannot see more than about five feet in front of you!  This time I was safe in my home and wishing it had hung around longer.  It was early morning and, once the sun comes up in Colorado, it will burn off anything hanging (yep – bad pun- LOL) around.  Gotta love livin here – never a dull moment!

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AN ODE TO MY MOTHER – OR – IS THAT A TURKEY?

/ helbergfarmstories / 6 Comments

A little over a year since the fire. Second Holiday season since, and I am thinking about my mom. She loved to read and write, just not good at the latter but loved to try. So, as a tribute to her this Thanksgiving, I give you the following:

THE DAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING (or a turkey revenge).

So it’s (or Twas) the day before Thanksgiving, the turkey was spry.

The peacock he chased said, “You’re gonna fry!”

The peacock then giggled, “Your butt is so big.”

“They’ll cook you and eat you served up like a pig.”

The turkey not worried, not scared not a bit.

Replied to the peacock, ”I’m not fat, I’m just fit!”

“I’ll hide with the chickens, and blend in just fine.”

 “You’re the bird of the day dear, the family will dine!”

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“They have to find me to eat me.” The turkey said with a snort

The peacock not knowing the turkey’s cohort.

While the peacock was taking his afternoon rest,

The gang got together, and doing their best.

They pinned down the snooty bird, his tail went first,

Glued on some feathers, all doing their worst.

They disguised the peacock, a turkey he looked.

Soon the farmer came out with the ax and a hook.

peacock with tail

He found the peacock all dressed as a turkey,

Thought the thing looks a bit skinny, odd and whacky?

But a bird is a bird and its Thanksgiving day,

So he picked up the callous bird and went on his way.

The moral of the story my friends now is this,

Don’t’ tick off a farm bird, you could end up like this:

 

turkey dinner

Yours Truly,

the bad poet’s society

(aka: mom xxxooo)

 

Happy Thanksgiving Day

 

 

IS IT REAL? A BLAST FROM THE PREHISTORIC PAST? A BIRD, PLANE, OR SUPERMAN?

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How many of you know what this is:

male silver guinea bird(see a video here)

The head of a dino, body of some crazy speckled fish-like-thingy, legs of a chicken – runs like the wind, but never seems to be going in a straight line (loves spinning in place with several others at a time). It’s a Guinea Bird/fowl.

We purchased our first ones a little over 10 years ago and got the surprise of our life. The first came to us as babies, looked almost like the baby chickens until tguinea babieshey started to “form”. Early on their heads looked strange – but, as they grew, the noise they made was even worse than their head. The eggs are not very good for breakfast but, like duck eggs, make great noodles. They are shaped like a huge upside down teardrop, short legs but man could they cruise!

 

It’s a summer Saturday evening, cocktails by the fire pit, and then it happened. We have a huge circular driveway around our house, of which the guineas took full advantage of – the race was on!

Sun setting, frogs having a party down in the pond croaking away, faint call of a coyote in the distance (yea – stay there!), and the guineas were at full speed. Three of the dino-birds started racing around the house via the driveway. They would run around about 3 times then stop in the center of the yard/drive and start spinning in circles! WWHHAATT?? I had never even heard of a guinea before we bought them, but they were supposed to be good pest controllers. So what was with the racing and, more important, how could they spin around like that without falling over? They looked funnier than a dog chasing its tail – and that’s funny! It was a mystery.

guinea fowl

Of course, we never once tried to stop them. It didn’t seem to be hurting them, they actually seemed to like it (could tell by all the squawking they were doing) so no harm no foul (ok, bad pun). We also had the issue of not being able to stop laughing at them (biggest reason why we didn’t stop them). Then, of course we all picked a bird and watched the races till the sun set.

When the sun was finally down low enough for the yard light to come on, they finally settled down. This also meant another oddity of them – they flew up and perched in the tree at night. Chickens do not do that! They like to perch on racks we built in their barn, but you would never find them up in a tree. The biggest reason why not is that they can’t get their butts up there. Well, take another look at this silly bird – how does it get off the ground shaped like that? Have no clue, but they do.

There are a couple of great benefits to having them. 1) They are better guard dogs. Anything odd and they sound off – person, vehicle, or critter – doesn’t matter. If it’s out of the norm and they will let you know. 2) The best at pest control! You should see them rip apart a mouse, snake, or a grasshoppers doesn’t matter to them. If they can catch it, it’s theirs. They will beat the snot out of it till dead. Grab it, throw it in the air, stomp on it, or split it (literally) with a fellow guinea….ahh, bonus protein meal.

guinea-fowl-vs-rattlesnake

Rattle snakes are in Colorado, but we have never (knock-on-wood) seen one on our property. We love our guineas. Think we will keep them in stock (pun intended).

ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES?

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Time has finally caught up with us. Okay, maybe I should say the weather has finally caught up with us. Our first major frost is due tomorrow night, and I’m not ready – eeekkkk! The exterior garden is pretty much demolished – so no problem there. The decision now is do I want to keep the greenhouse tomatoes going through to next year or break out my Edward Scissorhands clippers and have at it?

My major concern is not devastating the bush, but how bad the bush will devastate me. The darn thing is from the nightshade family. Very poisonous prospect, and an oxymoron if you really think about it. How did anyone ever come to realize that a tomato was edible? I know that most of what we eat is from watching critters. If they eat it, must be ok – however- nothing will eat the tomato vine. The fruit (yep it’s a fruit) is, to me, outstanding! So many varieties of uses – ketchup, sauces, Pico, and best to me – raw!! We put them in tons of things from eggs to meats to noodles. When you combine several together you get an amazing flavor (that’s how we make our pasta sauce).

So what am I so worried about – the vines. Years past I was able to tear at them with minimal body covering (ok, clean it up, I’m talking shorts and a tank top then)…but not now. Now I need full body armor! Pants, socks, ankle high boots, long sleeve shirt or at least a long sleeve jacket, gloves and most important – a clean rag.

The rag came about when I found out that I could no longer deal with the treacherous monster without full body armor. I make the mistake of taking out the outside vines 2 years ago by simply hacking away at them. I knew what they were back then, but at that time they did not infest me. Well, on this fateful day it happened to be bright, sunny and on the warmer side. As I worked I began to perspire (women perspire – men sweat – what a crock but that’s for another day) and subconsciously wiping the wet from my face – using my hands which were not encased in gloves. I believed that gloves were for sissys that were afraid to get their hands dirty – also, not anymore!

The poison weeping from the vines as I hacked away at them was doing its dastardly revenge from the moment I touched them. It leaked all over my hands and arms, I lifted both to help remove the moister from my face and eyes and the damage was done! The killer tomatoes had gotten vengeance. They were stealthy – doing injury when I least expected it! This was a year, after all, just like the previous years so why should I do anything different? Ha, ha, ha, silly me! NOTHING ever stays the same!!

I did my dirty deed on the gardens. I took everything down for the winters’ rest, as it should be. I went to bed that evening feeling like a hero! I had accomplished every fall cleanup item on my “to-do list” in record time. I showered after a hard days’ work but it was already too late. The sneaky tomato was enforcing its revenge upon me without my knowing it.

I woke the next morning looking like a blow fish!

pic of blowfish

WWWHHHAAATTTT???? I was swollen from my eyes to my feet with the worst being on my face (of course!). I was awake, but my eyes were thin little slits to peek through. My sinuses were so plugged that I had to hang my mouth open to breathe a heavy breather on a nasty phone call. And the facial skin itself was so stretched from the attack that I could not see a single wrinkle (bonus!? Hee hee).   My fingers were so swollen I could not make a fist and a burning rash had broken out almost everywhere. The first think (yes think) I did was yell for help.

Well, help came but not before laughing hysterically for several minutes first! Very funny – not!!! My sister then reminded me about the nightshade family in the tomato. So that was the culprit. She continued to laugh while helping to rub aloe lotion on me, also reminding me of all the time I teased her about her “sensitive” skin (she breaks out in a rash at the drop of a hat). Now I was to learn exactly how she felt – in the most painful way!

The majority of the swelling went down after a couple of days, the rash took a bit longer. But I did learn a very valuable lesson. The tomato doesn’t care what your skin type is. It doesn’t care that you may have killed it in the past without feeing its agony. It only cares about the first moment you DO notice it. That moment when it can come out on your unsuspecting self and seek revenge!

So, now I know that I will attack the monster with full body armor, but I will display my kinder side. I will allow part of the plant to remain in the plot. I will cover it with extra protection and even add a small space heater so that the temperature will remain above freezing in its mini-tunnel. I will allow it to continue to provide us with fruit in a slower manner throughout the winter.

In turn, I believe, it will not decide to attack me. At least not until the next time I get stupid and try to clear it jungle style! It had better remember that revenge is sweet, especially served up in a pasta sauce!

Now, my older friends, you know where they got the idea for that wonderful “B” movie from back in the 70’s – Attack of the killer tomatoes. Enjoy!!  (oh, and of course don’t forget that great theme song )

WHERE DID THEY ALL COME FROM?

/ helbergfarmstories / 10 Comments

Attack of the killer Monarch’s – eeekkkk! OK, so they don’t really attack, they don’t bite or tear your flesh off (maybe a zombie butterfly would? Hmm??). They don’t really hurt anything in their butterfly form. But looking at our blue mist bush in the corner of the yard gave us a moment to pause and ponder…where did they all come from?

We have always had Monarch’s passing through, but this year the hoard is awesome! They were clinging to our elm trees when first spotted. We just thought it was nice of them to see us as a rest area. By the next morning we had this:DSC_0015 This looks like just one single beauty – but look again:

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The bush was invaded by butterflies! Monarchs first caught my eye, then when I followed them, I found the bush covered in butterflies. I don’t know what all the names are, there is a smaller version of the monarch (in color) but with grey fringed edges. A smaller yellow with bits of green, and I also recognized the cabbage moth (often mistook as a butterfly) floating around the bush. The honey bees were also going crazy sucking the nectar off the flowers. My belief is that this must be the best time of year for the blue mist to give off sweetness. That would explain the insect coverage.

I stood and stared at it for several minutes, then I thought, “I don’t care why there are all here, just glad they paid us a visit!”

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We have seen farmers spending decades on getting rid of weeds in their fields. Unfortunately a lot of those “weed” are food sources or habitats for a number of other creatures. The milkweed pod plant is a favorite of the Monarch but, until this year, we didn’t have many around. Now we have bunches! Even our county road crew was nice enough to leave them alone in our ditches. There are a number of things that love the milkweed pod plant. It also has the added benefit of creating a great dried little cup type form that works great on a number of crafting projects (makes great Spock-type ears for our pumpkins – hee hee). This year (if I can collect enough) I want to try a wreath out of them.

I don’t know where they all came from this year. I don’t know where they are going to (Mexico I think?), but I am very thrilled that they used us as a pit-stop for several days. I hope that we gave them enough rest and food for energy to get them through the balance of their journey. Can’t wait to see what surprise we get next year! Monster Monarchs Munch Mexico?? Enjoy!