laughter

IT’S FREAKING COLD OUT HERE LADY – WHERE’S THE HEATING PAD?

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It has been a weird winter for us this year (includes latter part of 2015) – even our poor little birds are confused. The Robins usually disappear around November or December – the idiots are still here? What’s up with that?

fluffy robin

Last Friday I had 4 Chickadees eye-balling me from the tree out the window – kinda creepy! I filled their bird feeder out front before the storm (yes, there still is seed in it) so my only guess is they are thinking “It’s freaking cold out here lady – where’s our bird house with a heating pad?” Or – maybe they are mad cuz I didn’t wrap the gazebo this year?

chickadees

We have heavy, greenhouse type, plastic on the top ½ and back ½ and I usually wrap a 6-mil plastic around the bottom, just to keep the summer stuff we have in there dry. Well, I didn’t get to it last fall, so the bottom is full of snow now. The sparrows have found that I missed screening in one small upper corner and will sneak in there. However, nobirdy (OK, bad pun) went in there during this storm?

One poor dove just hung on for dear life to the pine tree out front – made it! Unfortunately, the poor puppy is too fat to fit through that little hole in the gazebo. So it is resolved to perch snuggled into the pine branches. It’s safe; the branches are covered in snow, so I guess it has a nice blanket under it. Ok, yes I worry too much about all the critters on our little farm, why not?

american dove

She/he/it is still around – all by itself? Very odd since normally they are at least in pairs.

I thought I would be helping the birds out by placing some birdseed by the pond.   We have a heater in it (keeps the water running) which helps them to get a drink when needed. Oh, Stupid Me! The fuzzy, 4-legged, burglars – IN BROAD DAYLIGHT NO LESS – hopped right up and helped themselves to it all (see Arlene – no buddies of mine! LOL)

peek bunny

They also managed to strip most of our fruit tree bark – even though they are fed quite well, I must say!   One of my best 4-H projects, when I was a kid, was raising rabbits. They went from two to over one hundred within about a year – EEEKKK!!! I also remember that following spring we had a “freezer stocking fest” at our farm, along with our cousins (had too many pigs and chickens). I won’t go into details for those of you that love the critters, or are vegan – but Hasenpfeffer is delish!

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AND WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER?

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Just after my last post, I received this little ditty from my Aunt Marlene. She is still in Wisconsin along with some other relatives. They are now getting what we just got from Old Man Winter. Reading this was fun, and all too real a reminder of whence I come. Just a little F.Y.I. – it’s ok to burst out laughing at this – actually; that would be a pretty normal response (which is what I am still doing as I post this).

 

You Grew Up In Rural Wisconsin If:

  • You know how to polka, but never tried it sober.

polka disco

  • You know what knee-high by the Fourth of July means.
  • You know it is traditional for the bride and groom to go bar hopping between the church & reception.
  • You know the difference between “Green” and “Red” farm machinery, and would fight with your friends on the playground over which was better!
  • You buy Christmas presents at Fleet & Farm. *You spent more on beer and liquor than you did on food at your wedding.
  • You hear someone use the word “oof-dah” and you don’t break into uncontrollable laughter.
  • You or someone you know was a “Dairy Princess” at the county fair.
  • You know that “combine” is a noun.
  • You let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post in the middle of winter.

A Christmas Story-tongue on pole

 

  • You think Lutheran and Catholic are THE major religions.
  • You know that “creek” rhymes with “pick”.
  • Football schedules, hunting season and harvest are all taken into consideration before wedding dates are set.
  • A Friday night date is getting a six-pack and taking your girlfriend shining for deer and then out for Friday night fish. *Saturday you go to your local bowling alley.
  • There was, one if not several, in your class who had to help milk cows in the morning.
  • You have driven your car on the lake.

ice fishing w car

  • You can make sense of “upnort,” “bat-tree” and “warrssh.”
  • Every wedding dance you have ever been to has the hokey pokey and the chicken dance.
  • Your definition of a small town is one that only has one bar.
  • The local gas station sells live bait.
  • At least twice a year some part of your home doubles as a meat processing plant.
  • You think that the start of deer season is a national holiday!

hidden deer hunting

All of this was part of my upbringing (scary thought isn’t it!), and I am very proud to say I SURVIVED! WOO HOO!!

I do have to give credit where credit is due – my mother, Wilma. She taught all of us (especially my dad) how to laugh at ourselves. I think that is how I have made it through the toughest times in my life – finding the funny.

Yes, there are times that no matter how hard you try, you just can’t muster that giggle. But through most of it, I found the silver lining.

So I say – bring it on life, I can make it a belly buster!

 

DO YOU WANNA BUILD A SNOWMAN – QUICK?

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If you live in the northeastern plains of Colorado, you better do it quick! This is the time of year I really get a kick out of Colorado weather. We have feet of snow (not as bad as the east coast – show offs!), but ours is in drifts. Seems the wind just doesn’t want to quit out here, unless it is 100+degrees. So we received a wicked, wet, and wild snow storm, perfect for building a snowman. Unfortunately, the wind was so wild; you couldn’t stand to be out in it – boo hoo!

buffalo in snow

You know it’s a blizzard when:

  • It sticks to your greenhouse

 

greenhouse during 2-2-16 storm

  • When you can’t find your sister by the gray, shed

front of cat shed during 2-2-16 storm

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

BUT – HAVE NO FEAR – IT’S COLORADO!

In about a week, we will have just remnants of this – so sad! (ok – NOT!) The best part is that this one was heavy and wet. This means it will soak in – wooo hoooo! Nice start to a spring planting season.

Yes, I am rather freaky in the fact that I love snow but hate the cold. Snow means fun, moisture, a snuggly feeling. Cold means my arthritis is gonna be screaming at me, my nose sticks together outside, and the water pumps (we have our own well) will freeze up. (Was stupid the first bad winter here and tried to force one open – LOL – had to replace that the following spring – idiot me!).

I think this is a big reason why I fell in love with Colorado. I must have my change of seasons, but the Colorado plains seem to know when I have had enough snow. Oh, did I mention that before this latest blizzard, I found green grass popping up beside the greenhouse. I took the time to yell at it for being too early, guess the snow showed it who’s boss right now!

 
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WHEN SOMEBODY THINKS YOU’RE WONDERFUL…

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This little ditty is for my friend blogger – DizzieLizzie – hope she likes it!

I listen to AccuRadio whenever I am at my computer.  Right now I listen to their Pop Standards: Rock Vocalists channel and there just so happens to be a song on by Bryan Ferry called When Somebody Thinks You’re Wonderful.  I just finished reading DizzieLizzies latest post on Looking UP….this song made me think of her!  It is an older song re-mixed into a newer song (that is what most of this channel is – also has great Rod Stewart and Bette Midler – love it!) and it is very bubbly.

So, in keeping with my New Year Resolution – here’s my bit-o-giggle for today….

When somebody thinks you’re wonderful…

silly dog

When somebody thinks you care…

silly pandas

When somebody thinks you’re wonderful…

silly dog 2

When you have so much love to share….

silly marmosets

When somebody thinks you’re wonderful…

silly llama

When your skies turn sad and gray…

silly emu

When somebody thinks your wonderful…

silly kitten n ducks

When I’ll help chase those clouds away.

silly cat

Ok, so that is not the exact words, but you get the gist.  Just wanted to share that none of us are ever really alone.  We just need to be reminded from time-to-time of those that encourage, love and support us…friends…family…God…the Guy sitting in the car in front of my house (oh wait – scratch the last one, that would actually be considered a stalker – oops LOL). 

Go out, suck in the sunshine, take a deep breath (except up by my family in MI – your nose will stick together from the cold so don’t do that-ouch LOL), and greet the day!

 

WHEN DO YOU REST?

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If you are anything like me, right after Christmas and New Year celebrations you immediately start thinking about spring planting. Well, a fellow blogger, Flowery Prose, just helped me to remember what winter is for – a time of resting.

There is a time for everything, including resting, this is what winter is to me.

bluejay

(even this Blue Jay appears to be resting)

Don’t get me wrong – I love my gardens and can’t wait to get into them every year. I love all parts of gardening from starting the seeds:

starting seeds

To moving those first starts into the gardens:

 

transplanting

Even weeding:

pulling weeds

Then there is that wonderful harvest:

 

fall harvest veggies

Which always involves canning:

 

canned veggies

(this includes vacuum freezing and dehydrating)

So we should be like all of the other living things around our gardens (even the bad critters – grr!) and use winter as our time of rest!

sleeping baby goat

sleeping fox

DSCF0039

 

 

 

 

 

sleeping mountain lion

sleeping bear

Because once it finally starts to warm up outside – the work begins again!

 

good pic our veggie garden

Now, don’t-cha just love the time of rest – wooo hooo!

 

BECAUSE THE BIRDS WERE GOING NUTS!

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(Before you read this, think of the old Dick Tracy or Dragnet style of storytelling – it will help-lol.)

THE CITY: Just outside of Brush, Colorado

THE TIME: 4:00 P.M. ish

THE DATE: January 18, 2016

It was a Monday just like all the others, or so I thought. Most of the day went off without a hitch. Get up, get ready for the day, feed the critters and start business. Every weekday afternoon (except holidays and teacher only work days) at 3:30 ish go wait for the bus to drop off my grandson Nathan.

I waited, he was delivered, and then I decided that there was storm front coming in so I went to do up chores early. That was when the game changed. The guineas were screaming of something wrong. They were all on top of the chicken coop instead of their normal racing on the ground – something was definitely amiss.

I couldn’t tell where the trouble was, as guineas do not stand still when they are scared. They will gather in a bunch and then mingle and scream at each other. Like that will fix the problem? I began trying to gather all the fowl into their barn and that’s when I saw it – DUN DUN DAAAA:

opossum 1

It was on the north end of the coop, in the path that I created around the greenhouse. It was just as scared of me as I was of it! We stood for just a moment locked in each other’s gaze. Then it turned and headed for the greenhouse and feed shed – oh oh! They move faster in the snow than I had expected.

I quickly reached for my cell phone to try to nab the critter (ok, just a picture of the critter), but I was too slow (story of my life). It was now hiding behind an old wheelbarrow that was leaning against the feed shed – score one for the opossum!

We have a gap in the base boards of that area, so I snuck around to the inside of the shed, still hoping to get a shot at it (oops, I mean of it -LOL). It was a crafty critter, all I had a clear shot of was its butt.

I decided that this beastie had won this round – but I will be ready for it in the morning!

opossum 2

(FYI – it is morning 1/19 and it is gone – boo hoo. First time I/we have every had one up at the farm. I wonder if it is a shemale looking for a baby maker house? Hmm – will have to keep an eye out for it – and maybe babies?)

JUST BECAUSE YOU MADE ME LAUGH.

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JUST BECAUSE YOU MADE ME LAUGH.

In keeping with my New Year Resolution, this one is for Arlene (https://arlenedavidsully.wordpress.com) because she was the first to make me laugh today.

First we have – find the Praying Mantis:

PRAYING MANTIS 9-11-15

She found a great place to blend in with our Virginia Creeper.  They are popping up all over the place the last couple of years.  The one that is on this wheel against the house is the biggest:

DSC_0005 (1)

Yes, this most recent pic is during winter so it is crushed a bit, but you get the idea.  When it is mid-summer it completely covers the old metal wagon wheel, then starts traveling up the porch rails.

Then there is this:

my precious-cat pic

Which happens to be the exact same thing that our 2 Christmas newbies are doing.  The problem is that EVERYTHING is their precious – including my hair, my yarn and my pencils (one of the idiots loves to swipe them and then chew off the erasers?  Doesn’t eat them, just pulls them off and leaves them laying around the house?)

 

 

Last, but not least, in keeping with this years’ theme; one of the guineas has managed to get through the fence between our hens and the roosters – he is now dubbed Houdini!  I have no clue how he did it?  We never let all the girls and boys out together, and I have combed both sides of the coups only to find nothing – no visible means of escape.  Now the stupid bird can just stay with the boys – ha ha ha (it is funny cuz all he does is run up and down alongside the pen squawking at all the others to let him back in.)!   They look cool, are great critter hunters, but it is obvious they have a brain smaller than a pea.

So there are these:

guinea face 1                guinea face 2

How can you not laugh at something that looks like this?  They have a flat nob on their head like a dino would have had.  They run super-fast but never seem to know where they are going.  Their sound is like a bad squeaky wheel or door (really bad and really loud).  They do let you know if there is anything different in your yard, on the road, in the barn wherever.  They are also the best thing for catching grasshoppers, snakes, mice and other fast pesties in the gardens.  But when they do their circle dance it is hysterical (will try to catch a video of it this spring).

I hope this starts your Monday on a happier note!?

Happy Gardening!    guinea face 3

TO START OR NOT TO START – NOW THAT IS A QUESTION?

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YES – it is, once again, that time of year that we are all thinking “WHEN IS THIS COLD GOING TO END?”  However, there are a ton of us that are not thinking that.  Instead we are thinking “HOW MANY MORE DAYS TILL SPRING?”  Our house is even counting the days to our normal last frost.  Reason being – SEED STARTING.

different seeds

Getting magazine, after magazine, after magazine, AFTER magazine (you get the picture) since before Halloween last year (oh yes – that is when the first one showed up warning us of impending doom if we do not order before the first of the year? –REALLY?).  Filling our heads with visions of daffodils instead of sugar plums at Christmas.  Warming our hearts during the coldest New Year’s Eve parties with planting zone predictions.

pic of pile of garden mags

Yep, got the bug really bad this year!  The last 2 years were just too rough (read previous blogs for more info) for this optimist dreamer to even fathom decent gardens.  Well, get ready for me dirt – cuz here I come!!

fighting dirt

I will be yanking on weeds, showering you with great composted fertilizer mixes and setting you up on the best companion planting dates I can put together!  We have been saving egg shells and coffee grounds by the pounds, ready to mingle into your warmth.

 crushing egg shells                                               coffee beans

 

Even though we still have snow on the ground, and temps at night below freezing – beware!  We are getting ready to attack!  So gardens, prepare for an outbreak of major spring fever that will knock your socks (ok, so they don’t really have socks) off!

spring fever

We have several new ideas in our plans in our arsenal for starting seeds this year.  I will be watching (and taking pics and notes) you gardens –  very VERY closely – to know when you are best prepared.  So let the seed starting games begin!

WHAT IS THIS? HINT – ITS NOT SNOW.

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fog day in herb garden

(the flash from my camera made it a lot brighter out than it was – only about 5:30 a.m. here)

Nope – it’s not snow.  Looked like it was to me at first then I saw this:

DSC_0003 (2)

Normally you can see the woods and the highway to the upper left very VERY clearly.  Not this day.  The longer I watched the more shaded the trees became until they completely disappeared (sadly the battery on my camera died-figures LOL)…it was FOG!!

We get fog quite often here.  When the weather comes down from the Rockies, dips deep into the foothills of Denver, then follows the Platte River out our way – we never know what it will bring/do.

This time was amazing.  We have snow on the ground already from a couple of good previous snows – but this was unusual.  The fog was so dense, wet, and heavy that it formed a layer on everything. 

Eventually, and unfortunately briefly, even the far fence line in this photo disappeared – can you say Twilight Zone again?? I encountered fog this thick once before back in Wisconsin.  I was about 19 years old, was heading from Plymouth to Sheboygan for an interview.  The fog came in so fast and so thick off of Lake Michigan that I had to open my door to see the center line.  Of course, the chicken that I am when it comes to driving blind, I then turned around and changed my appointment.

It’s a very creepy feeling when you cannot see more than about five feet in front of you!  This time I was safe in my home and wishing it had hung around longer.  It was early morning and, once the sun comes up in Colorado, it will burn off anything hanging (yep – bad pun- LOL) around.  Gotta love livin here – never a dull moment!

DSC_0005 (1)

 

GARDENING RESOLUTION #1- MORE FUN!

/ helbergfarmstories / 8 Comments

The last 2 years have been really rough for living and gardening, so I just have 1 resolution for 2016…

HAVE MORE FUN AND LAUGHS IN THE GARDENS!

This is what doing yard and garden work should be about – fun! There are only 2 reasons, I believe, for having an outdoor space: 1) To grow your own food, 2) A place you go to for relaxation and enjoyment.

garden fun-claymation

My parents used to have a great saying “you play, you pay”, which seems to fit almost any/every situation. None more so than your own personal outdoor space. You want something that, on your worst days, you can go to for your own personal karmic relief. A place that you (or with a bit of help from others) created and that you are content and proud to be in.

So, for my new year – and I hope yours – why don’t we try making it more fun? We all have to pull weeds somewhere, at some time – why not use that time to take you’re your frustrations?

pulling weeds

Beat the snot out of them – rip them out of the ground – or do it an easy way as my friend does…grab a pair of old scissors (make sure they are long), grab a shady hat or maybe you have a portable umbrella setup for shade, load a few of your favorite drinks in a small cooler, sit down by the area you want to attack, and begin: With gloves on (because she is allergic to some of them), she holds a weed up to accurately locate the base of it, maneuvers her scissors down the shaft into the ground and SNIP – it’s gone! Now this may seem a bit unusual, but she has a very valid reason to her madness. She stops the weed without bothering the good plants she has near it.

silly weed

Now, step back for a minute and think about this! She did not disturb the roots of the good growers. She stopped the weed from getting any sun and/or water. Yes, it will come back – but not for quite a while. This relaxed method also gave her several moments of peace and contentment. All she heard was distant sounds and, once done, she sat back and was proud at what she had accomplished. I was in awe of her great natural gardening discovery! So I tried it! It was wonderful!

If you have to be out there doing the nasty with the weeds anyway, why not enjoy it? Why torture your back or shoulders with wrestling with the monsters, when you can use that same time – with less energy – as a type of “Zen” experience? Become ONE with the butterfly (appreciate the Monarch if you see it – endangered species) and all the fun things in your space!

monarch on a plant

So, this is my major New Year Resolution – to make it all more fun and enjoyable. I hope you will too!