Fun

HOW DANGEROUS IS YOUR GARDENING?

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This question came up while I was driving by a farmer the other day.  He was out on one of their huge new-fangled tractors (you know, the kind with the cab over it for heating and A/C), with the strangest thing I ever saw behind it.

My father’s influence made me pull over and watch it for a bit.  He is long gone now, but I still look at all the newest farm stuff with him in mind.  The thing behind the tractor, at first, looked like a normal plow – no way.  It turned out to be anything but “normal” in my eyes.

(ours – pretty close anyway)                     (the newbies)

We used to have to take wide swatches when we plowed because it was not easy or safe to turn a tractor pulling any heavy equipment in tight formation.  So, the common practice was to begin in the center of the field, plow through it and along the far side bottom to the farthest corner.  Turn and plow up to the top, across the top, then go back down next to the row you first created.  You simply drove in a type of rectangle/circle formation moving one row over each time until you got back to the gate where you entered the field.  It worked perfectly fine.

Well, this new creation would have made my cousin squeal with joy.  Before he even got his drivers license, he was elected (pretty sure he didn’t volunteer for the job) to plow up one of our fields.  He was kind of cocky so when he got the general gist of the project he took off.

We happened to be riding along the lane next to the field when it happened.  He was going too fast and not paying attention to the plow in the back.  Took a corner too fast and too tight, and the tractor wheel got caught in the plow and lifted the front end of the tractor right up off the ground.  Luckily he was so scared and shook up that he took his foot off the peddles too fast, and the tractor quit right there.  He could not get it all undone by hand and had to go, teary-eyed, back up to the house for dad’s help.

I am glad I was there to see it. However, this new-fangled plow would never do that.  The farmer had some type of hydraulic system that actually picked up the plow into the air, flipped it around, and set it back down.  He was able to go whipping back-and-forth, up-and-down through the whole field with barely slowing down – AMAZING!

Pretty sure my dad is in heaven somewhere, wetting himself, watching me watching that.

angel dad humor

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SEASON TWO – WOO HOO!!

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It’s time for the next game-plan here on our little slice of heaven – food season!

The grandson started school this week. Therefore I now have more time to spend on/in the gardens (can you hear me jumping for joy?!).

First thing I am working on is revamping the greenhouse.  It’s been going well for the last five years, but it’s time for some improvements, at least I hope they will be in the long run.

  1. Tomato Racks: We have tried a number of ways to work with our tomatoes to get the best results:
    1. Wire tomato cages – not good in the greenhouse. The weather in there makes the cages fall apart after only a couple of years.
    2. We took an idea from our local Corp. Hydroponic Tomato Plant. They “hang” their tomatoes on long lines.  Once I understood the necessity of trimming off lower branches and useless branches, hanging seemed like a great idea.  Nope, the ropes disintegrated, and wires cut the stalks.
    3. Let them lay where they will. VERY WRONG IDEA!  Yes, we had tons of tomatoes, but we could not find most of them until too late.  Either they would rot or get stepped on.  Unless we could see them, we would lose them (and we lost too many for our liking!).
    4. Now we think we have a solution – a wooden rack:

 

So far, so good!  The only issue we have is that I thought of it too late.  The tomatoes in the background (pic on the left shows best – the walkway disappeared – hee hee), are how long and bushy we are already.

We had to go on one row/side of the plot and flip all the branches over to the other side.  Then we installed the rack.  Once in place, we very delicately found each vine and hung it on the rack.  There is a metal field fence (has 4”x4” squares to it) piece attached to the wooden rack for us to build the vines on.

They went into a bit of shock right after propping up; however, it has been about two weeks now, and they are starting to bounce back.  During the whole time, we had plenty of tomatoes.  We had enough that we can begin our barter time:

  • Eggs for tomatoes.
  • Squash for tomatoes
  • Fruit for tomatoes
  • Even got a new thermostat on the truck for a loaf of bread and a bunch of tomatoes (tiny eaters and large sandwich type).

We hope to have the three racks installed in that row by the end of the month (mid-September at the latest).  The front faces west which is our most intense heat.  This leaves the east side in full to partial shade by mid-afternoon.  Carrots, lettuce, spinach are going in there.  We are also building frames to go over the racks for extra cover on really cold nights.  One other year we had tomatoes through Christmas. Hope we can do that again this year.  Fresh tomatoes make such a great gift!

Happy gardening!!

(If you enjoyed this bit of humor, please feel free to visit my latest blog: Life Lessons Lived  to get more laughter in your life!)

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I NOW REALIZE THERE ARE ONLY 2 SEASONS!

/ helbergfarmstories / 3 Comments

I used to have the normal four seasons: Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter. Well, not anymore. At least, not since I took custody of my 8-year old Grandson. My new “two” seasons are just:

SCHOOL SEASON

go to recess when

– AND –
FOOD SEASON

School season is obvious to anyone that is a parent or guardian. When the kids go back to school, I have so much more time for “me” activities. The only bummer is that never seems to be enough time! My biggest problem is that we live in the country, but my grandson cannot ride the bus (older kids picking on him).  This means I must take and pick him up.  If he were on the bus that would give me at least one more hour of “me” time and I would not have to drop-and-run.

The “food season” is different. It starts about January with seed/plant selections. We go through all of our saved seeds, plot planning preps, and start designing what we would like where this growing year.

Once selections are made and purchased (as needed), then comes the seed starting – end of January to first of March. This includes figuring out where to put all of them as they grow. Starting is always in trays – easy!

Then they start getting big (sometimes too fast for us to keep up) and need to be transplanted. This is the next decision…

  • Pots for repotting
    • Newspaper,
    • Cardboard, etc.
  • Pots for repurposing – plant to be removed before going in ground.

Once every one gets big enough and weather (which is another tricky situation) permits, it’s time to move everyone (notice how I call my plants “everyone”!?) to their permanent home. Outside gardens, front yard, greenhouse, trellis or special garden helpers required? That’s just some of the decisions that need to be resolved.
Right now everyone is starting to put out “food” which means we now have to start processing. Wouldn’t you know that the most important parts of the food season also seem to fall in the off-school season!

  • We have time now for picking and eating.
    • Picking and freezing.
      • Picking and eating more.
        • Picking and dehydrating.
          • Picking and eating more.

(I’m sure you get the picture here! If I do not process it fast enough, it gets eaten before I can store it – LOL!)

Soon we will have to break out the “big-guns” and get the pressure canner and hot water bath set up running. By the time that starts, the kid should be back in school. Oh, but the Holidays are just around the corner, and I only have a fraction of the gifts made – grrr!
Somewhere in all this mess of the two seasons, I manage to find time to write (like now), knit, crochet, make cards, sew. Now I have picked up a couple of new crafts to add to my confusion – beading and punch needle (ahhh – more Christmas gifts to give – wooo hooo!!).

Since the grandson is just as important to me as the food season is, I guess I will just have to deal! Happily, I hope (FYI – I am listening to Christmas music while I am writing this – I am such a sicko!)

christmas therapy

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FFF-FRIDAY – WOO HOO!!! Have you seen the signs?

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It’s time to prepare! 

Have you seen the signs? 

There are many out there: (please do NOT click on the links until the very end-thank you.)

Cicadapocalypse: What you need to know.

Snakes found hunting in packs.

These two were just in today’s email information.  Then there are the other signs:

What is a supermoon?

Are you ready? 

Are you prepared?

Are you ready to handle the worst signs yet?  Hold on to your butts:

  died fighting  (Tried posting this at the edges of my gardens as a warning sign for our birds…this is what I got in return:

ckn kickn leaves

Then I received a sign from the rooster:

ck terror human

I really got worried when they ganged up on me and employed music to terrorize me:

ckn bach bach

 

When all else failed they came at me with this:

best hen house

FINALLY – I saw the signs!  Not happy about them – ok, and a bit scared, but definitely not happy!  Dang chickens.

 

WHY?

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I have found the answer to the world’s oldest question.

WHY DID…

chicken 1

THE CHICKEN…

chicken 6

CROSS…

chicken 2

THE ROAD?

chicken 5

To run over and steal all the wonderful worms from my gardens as I work!

chicken 3

Hiding behind the garlic grasses will not save you from my wrath bird!

chicken 4

I swear if you girls were not laying 6+ eggs a day you would be freezer meat! (I still have about a dozen other birds you know?!?  And they are staying OUT of my gardens!)

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IS THIS HEADING YOUR WAY TOO?

/ helbergfarmstories / 2 Comments

I’ve been a planting fool over the last four weeks!
• Corn with cucs.
• Tomatoes with marigolds.
• Hot peppers in one spot.
• Sweet peppers in a spot far away from the hot ones.
• Extra beets, carrots, and dill EVERYWHERE.
Then, just when I thought it was safe to bring out the big guns (pumpkins, squashes, melons) this happens:

snowman with flower

************************************************************************************
DAY          DESCRIPTION     HIGH/LOW     PRECIP     WIND      HUMIDITY
WED
MAY 17    PM Thunderstorms 71°43°       40%          N 13 mph    48%
THU
MAY 18    Rain/Wind            45°35°          100%         NE 21 mph   90%
FRI
MAY 19    Rain/Snow             48°31°         100%         N 14 mph    79%
Rain and snow in the morning. The rain and snow will become lighter and change to all rain in the afternoon. High 48F. Winds N at 10 to 20 mph. Chance of rain 100%.

************************************************************************************

REALLY?? We are at mid-May, and NOW it decides to snow – Mother Nature I really need to have a heart-to-heart talk with you!!

I just finished putting out all the tomatoes and peppers (heat lovers of course – grrr) and was getting ready to get out the big viners. It’s a good thing I took an afternoon off to relax my back (yep – another wonderful thing about being elderly – eek – older – double eek- experienced – OK, I like that one…being more experienced!) before hitting it all again.
I feel lucky that with age does come a bit of wisdom (ok, maybe just a lot of luck!) and I prepped covers for everything outside as I placed them in the plots. Alright, alright…I actually was not thinking about bad weather but my renegade chickens. No matter how much I fence or feed them in their pen, the beasties still get out and prefer to dig up whatever I put in the ground. Maybe I need to stress more that I have part of a freezer empty and they would fit in there nicely?

real chicken    ≡   fried chicken

Oh well, maybe they knew something I was not even thinking about – getting this cold this late in the season. Maybe Ole’ Mom Nature gave them a hint to force me to put fenced hoops over everybody? Maybe it was her way of telling me that this mess was heading my way – naaa, just sounds good doesn’t it?
So, now that I have done all the first round hard stuff (cleaning, prepping and planting) I need to get ready for the second round hard stuff.
I now have to:
1. bring out all the plastic,
2. measure,
3. cut,
4. secure
5. and pray.

Yep, pray that the wind does not rip off all the covers and ruin all my hard work.
Some weeks are just more of a challenge than others I guess!?!

pulling hair out                               hit excape

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Friday fun: WHO NEEDS A GUARD DOG?

/ helbergfarmstories / 5 Comments

I was wondering around the trees and bushes to the south yesterday.  I needed to see if I should water anyone just in case the storm scheduled to today (it came) missed us again.  I was not paying attention to where I was walking because I was checking the base of the plants when “OUCH” – SOMETHING STABBED ME!  Not a poke but a nasty stab.  This was the culprit:

5-1-17 thorns on locust tree

I purposely left this picture larger than most, just to try to impress upon you the length and effectiveness of our locust tree spikes (the minimum length of these spiky behemoths is three inches).  Yep, this monster has gotten very dangerous indeed!

If I ever run out of yarn, sewing, or darning needles; these suckers would be perfect!  They are as strong as steel, sharper than a knife, and more vicious than a guard dog.

Somehow in the next few days, I need to figure out how to get near it to do some trimming.  Pretty sure I will at least need body armor.  We used to have a long-handled hand saw to do things like this, but my grandson decided to try jousting with it – and lost.

One of my grand delusions is to have a huge four-foot-thick castle wall around our property (because too many people find us to be the Colorado Information/Gas Station/Potty Stop Center).  Now I think I will try to grab some suckers off this beastie and try to root start them.  Wonder if a huge hedge of them, totally surrounding our property, would keep the uninvited out?  Hmm, something fun to ponder this Friday!

Aubrey 2

(Hee, hee – next best thing to Aubrey 2 – LOL)

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WHAT SONGS ARE YOUR KIDS SINGING?

/ helbergfarmstories / 5 Comments

Do you know what your kids are singing?  Especially your very young kids?  Now I am no spring chicken anymore, but I know that one of the first things that kids learn is music – specifically singing.  They are taught at the youngest age to do simple rhyming song.

  • Oh, Dear, What Can the Matter Be?
  • Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.
  • One that my sister was taught was Chicken Riding? I, personally, had never heard it before or after she sang it (sometimes I think she just made it up to keep me guessing?!)
  • Itsy, Bitsy Spider – and so on.

The one children’s song that came to mind this morning is about one of my favorite creatures – the Bumble Bee.  “I caught a little baby bumblebee, won’t my mommy be so proud of me.”  (It’s kind of tragic at the same time – stings the kid, gets squashed, makes a mess of the shirt, and in the end, the kid gets into trouble…ahh, kids songs?!)

We have honey bees that are brought up from New Mexico every spring.  A company (friends) has our permission to pull their huge semi-truck onto our property.  Park it there, unload, and distribute over 600 colonies of bees.  It takes about three days to get them all spread out here in northeastern Colorado.  Then in the fall, they do the reverse.  We have extra free great pollinators all summer long.  (They should be here in the next couple of weeks.)

We also spend a fair amount of time every spring adding more (or new) good-bug-friendly plants to our yards and gardens.  The first few years on our little slice of heaven were kind of sad.  A few spots out front with a few flowers in them, but nothing to really attract our good bug buddies.  I can still remember the first time I saw a Praying Mantis.  Got so happy I cried a bit!

Over the years and our continuous work, we have managed to attract all types of garden helpers.

  • More Praying Mantis (green & brown – for those that do not know – female and male in our territory.)
  • Walking Sticks
  • The continued Honey Bees
  • Humming Birds.
  • An ever-growing variety of wild birds.
  • Lacewings
  • Ladybugs
  • Soldier bugs
  • And a variety of beetles.

The one that is closest to me, in more ways than one, is the bees.  We have several varieties here now.  The one that I did not see until just last year was the Bumble Bee.  I didn’t even think about it until I read this email: Mother Nature Network (MNN)

Bumblebee gets a helping hand from Endangered Species Act

I didn’t know they were on the endangered species list?  I know the Honeybees have been declining, so we help them as much as possible, but it never dawned on me that the Bumblebee is was having issues as well.

Maybe they should start teaching kid song to save things like the bumble bee instead of squashing it?  Maybe we could help starting now?

music notes 1

There was a little baby Bumblebee.

So I sat real still as I could be.

The Bumblebee came and sat on me.

Oh, what a wonderful thing to see.

Then he turned and smiled with glee.

Don’t ya just love those Bumblebees!

music notes 2

(Can’t write right now, because I can’t stop laughing at myself!)

Ok, so I cannot write a song, but you get the picture.  The idea of teaching our kids not to be afraid of things like Bumblebees, Honeybees, and Spiders just appeals to me.  I though, have my work cut out for me with my grandson.  He is a big giant panzie!  He can’t wait for summer, but asks every day if the snakes are out yet?  If I say yes, it is time, then he won’t go outside – grrr!

silly friendly snake

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HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THIS?

/ helbergfarmstories / 5 Comments

Today’s Friday funny is very simple.  Just click on the link.  It will take you to YouTube.  This is one that I have never seen or heard before.  Please share if you have and if you can remember where/why!  Also let me know if you laughed as hard as I did?

 

Kremit The Frog – Piggy Got Back

 

Hope you enjoy your Friday Fun Day!!

FUN FRIDAY FROM FOLK FANCIES.

/ helbergfarmstories / 2 Comments

Ya, say that five times fast!  It is actually folklore not fancies, but “lore”  is not an “f” word.  This outstanding spring day/Friday Funny is brought to you courtesy of my wonderful Farmers Almanac – Spring Weather Lore and More!

I have heard of most of them. However this one is a newbie for me and had me laughing:

  • A cold and moist April fills the cellar and fattens the cow

im-not-fat-3g30xq.jpg (notice she is purple!)

WHAT?

I have now and have had cellar’s, and have had cows.  I have seen cold and warm, moist and dry April’s.  But I have NEVER heard this saying!  And just how is that supposed to work?  Why would a cold and moist (ok, moist I get) April fatten the cow?

Our bigger farmers start their first cutting of hay around early to mid-May, so it behooves (yes, I used that word) of them to wish for a moist April.  They also use irrigation systems and are on metered water from the state, so any help they get from a wet April would be very welcome and feed cows later in the year.  But why cold?

got water

Cooler here (above freezing 32°F or better if it stays above 38°F at night) means a better chance for our spring cool-weather crops to make it before we hit the hotter stuff.  Asparagus, carrots, peas, beets, will all give us a spring and a fall crop (I am talking outside, not in our greenhouse) if the weather is what it should be.  We usually start potatoes and onions in late March or early April to avoid the worst of the bug predators.  About mid-April is corn, and then you start praying there is no deep freeze.  Then there is the issue of my good bugs!  They are showing up already, should I worry about their safety?

what-do-you-ugczf6

With that all being said – I am loving the weather right now – perfect 70°F-ish – rain every few days – nights above freezing.  If it were my call, I would have it like this year-round except for Thanksgiving through till the 5th of the new year.  I gotta have my chilly holidays and my white Christmas!

its-beginning-to-k70zd1