Once upon a time, there was a little girl with very curly dark hair that loved to run and jump and play. She had a horse to ride, dogs to run with, and a sister to get into trouble with. Alas, this beautiful little girl was a klutz!
Her mother was full off cute old-fashioned sayings to explain her clumsiness in a way that would not make her feel sad or embarrassed:
- “Keep doing that with your eyes and they will stay that way.” (After she would walk into the door because she had her eyes crossed.)
- “Did you catch that mouse?“ (After she would trip and fall.)
- “Here, you want to fight so bad, just take this butter knife and do it!” (After she and her sister got caught fighting – again!) (FYI: All they ever did was stare blankly from their mom to the knife, then to each other. Sometimes it would end up in a mock sword fight.)
Well, that pretty young girl grew up to be a crusty, broken, old lady that still never watched where she was going. This dizzy broad could not even pick up her feet high enough to get over a simple gate mat.
(Take a good look at the cinder block in the top center)
Trip – slow motion fall – full body slam into the brick patio, iron arch entry frame, and of course planting her left side ribs squarely on top of a busted cinder block. Her aim is impeccable!
Bruised Ribs (never had this before)
Bloody and bruised knee – right by the replacement (because apparently a full replacement was not painful enough!).
Ripped bloody finger from who knows what (thinking I may have tried to catch myself and missed?).
So, today’s lesson kids:
Is it considered “ballet” if you spin as you fall, or can you use the excuse of “I am trying to catch a mouse” when none is present?
Of course, you first have to stop laughing at yourself to declare either. (FYI – not laughing now, hurts too much – boo hoo!)