for grins and giggles

IS IT REAL? A BLAST FROM THE PREHISTORIC PAST? A BIRD, PLANE, OR SUPERMAN?

/ helbergfarmstories / 5 Comments

How many of you know what this is:

male silver guinea bird(see a video here)

The head of a dino, body of some crazy speckled fish-like-thingy, legs of a chicken – runs like the wind, but never seems to be going in a straight line (loves spinning in place with several others at a time). It’s a Guinea Bird/fowl.

We purchased our first ones a little over 10 years ago and got the surprise of our life. The first came to us as babies, looked almost like the baby chickens until tguinea babieshey started to “form”. Early on their heads looked strange – but, as they grew, the noise they made was even worse than their head. The eggs are not very good for breakfast but, like duck eggs, make great noodles. They are shaped like a huge upside down teardrop, short legs but man could they cruise!

 

It’s a summer Saturday evening, cocktails by the fire pit, and then it happened. We have a huge circular driveway around our house, of which the guineas took full advantage of – the race was on!

Sun setting, frogs having a party down in the pond croaking away, faint call of a coyote in the distance (yea – stay there!), and the guineas were at full speed. Three of the dino-birds started racing around the house via the driveway. They would run around about 3 times then stop in the center of the yard/drive and start spinning in circles! WWHHAATT?? I had never even heard of a guinea before we bought them, but they were supposed to be good pest controllers. So what was with the racing and, more important, how could they spin around like that without falling over? They looked funnier than a dog chasing its tail – and that’s funny! It was a mystery.

guinea fowl

Of course, we never once tried to stop them. It didn’t seem to be hurting them, they actually seemed to like it (could tell by all the squawking they were doing) so no harm no foul (ok, bad pun). We also had the issue of not being able to stop laughing at them (biggest reason why we didn’t stop them). Then, of course we all picked a bird and watched the races till the sun set.

When the sun was finally down low enough for the yard light to come on, they finally settled down. This also meant another oddity of them – they flew up and perched in the tree at night. Chickens do not do that! They like to perch on racks we built in their barn, but you would never find them up in a tree. The biggest reason why not is that they can’t get their butts up there. Well, take another look at this silly bird – how does it get off the ground shaped like that? Have no clue, but they do.

There are a couple of great benefits to having them. 1) They are better guard dogs. Anything odd and they sound off – person, vehicle, or critter – doesn’t matter. If it’s out of the norm and they will let you know. 2) The best at pest control! You should see them rip apart a mouse, snake, or a grasshoppers doesn’t matter to them. If they can catch it, it’s theirs. They will beat the snot out of it till dead. Grab it, throw it in the air, stomp on it, or split it (literally) with a fellow guinea….ahh, bonus protein meal.

guinea-fowl-vs-rattlesnake

Rattle snakes are in Colorado, but we have never (knock-on-wood) seen one on our property. We love our guineas. Think we will keep them in stock (pun intended).

ATTACK OF THE KILLER TOMATOES?

/ helbergfarmstories / 8 Comments

Time has finally caught up with us. Okay, maybe I should say the weather has finally caught up with us. Our first major frost is due tomorrow night, and I’m not ready – eeekkkk! The exterior garden is pretty much demolished – so no problem there. The decision now is do I want to keep the greenhouse tomatoes going through to next year or break out my Edward Scissorhands clippers and have at it?

My major concern is not devastating the bush, but how bad the bush will devastate me. The darn thing is from the nightshade family. Very poisonous prospect, and an oxymoron if you really think about it. How did anyone ever come to realize that a tomato was edible? I know that most of what we eat is from watching critters. If they eat it, must be ok – however- nothing will eat the tomato vine. The fruit (yep it’s a fruit) is, to me, outstanding! So many varieties of uses – ketchup, sauces, Pico, and best to me – raw!! We put them in tons of things from eggs to meats to noodles. When you combine several together you get an amazing flavor (that’s how we make our pasta sauce).

So what am I so worried about – the vines. Years past I was able to tear at them with minimal body covering (ok, clean it up, I’m talking shorts and a tank top then)…but not now. Now I need full body armor! Pants, socks, ankle high boots, long sleeve shirt or at least a long sleeve jacket, gloves and most important – a clean rag.

The rag came about when I found out that I could no longer deal with the treacherous monster without full body armor. I make the mistake of taking out the outside vines 2 years ago by simply hacking away at them. I knew what they were back then, but at that time they did not infest me. Well, on this fateful day it happened to be bright, sunny and on the warmer side. As I worked I began to perspire (women perspire – men sweat – what a crock but that’s for another day) and subconsciously wiping the wet from my face – using my hands which were not encased in gloves. I believed that gloves were for sissys that were afraid to get their hands dirty – also, not anymore!

The poison weeping from the vines as I hacked away at them was doing its dastardly revenge from the moment I touched them. It leaked all over my hands and arms, I lifted both to help remove the moister from my face and eyes and the damage was done! The killer tomatoes had gotten vengeance. They were stealthy – doing injury when I least expected it! This was a year, after all, just like the previous years so why should I do anything different? Ha, ha, ha, silly me! NOTHING ever stays the same!!

I did my dirty deed on the gardens. I took everything down for the winters’ rest, as it should be. I went to bed that evening feeling like a hero! I had accomplished every fall cleanup item on my “to-do list” in record time. I showered after a hard days’ work but it was already too late. The sneaky tomato was enforcing its revenge upon me without my knowing it.

I woke the next morning looking like a blow fish!

pic of blowfish

WWWHHHAAATTTT???? I was swollen from my eyes to my feet with the worst being on my face (of course!). I was awake, but my eyes were thin little slits to peek through. My sinuses were so plugged that I had to hang my mouth open to breathe a heavy breather on a nasty phone call. And the facial skin itself was so stretched from the attack that I could not see a single wrinkle (bonus!? Hee hee).   My fingers were so swollen I could not make a fist and a burning rash had broken out almost everywhere. The first think (yes think) I did was yell for help.

Well, help came but not before laughing hysterically for several minutes first! Very funny – not!!! My sister then reminded me about the nightshade family in the tomato. So that was the culprit. She continued to laugh while helping to rub aloe lotion on me, also reminding me of all the time I teased her about her “sensitive” skin (she breaks out in a rash at the drop of a hat). Now I was to learn exactly how she felt – in the most painful way!

The majority of the swelling went down after a couple of days, the rash took a bit longer. But I did learn a very valuable lesson. The tomato doesn’t care what your skin type is. It doesn’t care that you may have killed it in the past without feeing its agony. It only cares about the first moment you DO notice it. That moment when it can come out on your unsuspecting self and seek revenge!

So, now I know that I will attack the monster with full body armor, but I will display my kinder side. I will allow part of the plant to remain in the plot. I will cover it with extra protection and even add a small space heater so that the temperature will remain above freezing in its mini-tunnel. I will allow it to continue to provide us with fruit in a slower manner throughout the winter.

In turn, I believe, it will not decide to attack me. At least not until the next time I get stupid and try to clear it jungle style! It had better remember that revenge is sweet, especially served up in a pasta sauce!

Now, my older friends, you know where they got the idea for that wonderful “B” movie from back in the 70’s – Attack of the killer tomatoes. Enjoy!!  (oh, and of course don’t forget that great theme song )

WHO WINS THE RACE?

/ helbergfarmstories / 5 Comments

If your days are anything like mine, they get full pretty fast. Rushing from here to there, worrying about tons of different deadlines for different projects all at the same time. The mind is racing and somedays it’s really hard to get focused – or worse – to sleep at night! Well, we have found a most excellent way to draw our minds back into brain-dead status – TOAD RACING!

Now, this is not your fancy frog racing adventure. No race track, no fast moving frogs, and only 2 rules…1) Who ever makes it to the finish line is the winner, 2) NO CHASING THE TOAD! This last includes tossing a stick or stone to try to direct or redirect it in any way. It has to be all on the toads’ own will power.

toad 1  toad 2

This may sound stupid to some of you but picture this: It is a quiet cool evening. You have had a long hard day of doing too many mental and physical chores. You find yourself sitting in a comfortable glider rocker chair next to a nice glowing fire pit. The stars are our, the crickets are chirping, you can hear the howl of the coyotes in the distance – but you just cannot relax!

Frustrated, you go grab a cool drink, sink back into your chair and then happened to glance around at your environment. You see a toad hopping about. It seems to be on a mission – but – no – wait, it turned around bolting in a new direction. Your screaming brain just came to a screeching halt – “what is this critter looking for?” You now start to see other toads of all different sizes and shapes, popping out from all different places. You lean over to the buddy sitting next to you and say, “I bet that one can get to that stick first!” Your sister/friend/significant other looks at you, selects their own specimen smiles and says “you’re on!”

You shuffle your feet to try to make it turn another direction, but you are not allowed to get up and chase it in any way, shape or fashion – it must move totally by its own will. It stumbles over a small tree branch, travels about a foot toward your goal and you start to get excited – oops, wait it turned to face you now. Pretty sure this toad knows that I have pegged it as the winner so it just decides to squat right down and stare at me – jerk! The other fellow’s toad is now racing, has caught up with mine and actually rammed right into it.  Now they are both just sitting there like bumps on a log (ok, now you know where that phrase came from – you’re welcome!).

You and your buddy begin laughing uncontrollably – can’t help it, the whole idea is goofy! But then, that’s the point…your mind is now totally blank except for how to get this toad to move, your body has become physically relaxed except for the hysterics pouring out of you. Ahhh, job well done!

The unplanned plan worked perfectly! Totally by chance of a perfect night, perfect conditions and stopping to notice the surroundings – relaxation was found!

A couple of months have now passed since that glorious night, and we found ourselves sitting on the east porch contemplating Saturdays chores that we had accomplished. There was still a large amount to be done, so the “list” began to bounce back and forth between us. Do this first, do this by the first deep frost, finish processing the veggies, and my sister slipped in the house to get a couple more drinks. That’s when I spotted them!

ladybugs

(Look close and you can see the 2 at the siding edge trying to come over to beat her, however she is also traveling toward them?)

Not toads this time, but ladybugs! Dozens of them crawling all over the porch railings, ceiling, along the house wall, everywhere. They were moving so fast I thought that they must have a plan? As one moved close to me I set out a finger – she climbed right on it – now this is silly! How will she get where she is going while perched on my finger? But, again, moving non-stop she reached the edge of my coat cuff, bumped it and immediately flew off and reconnected with the house again. These were not sluggish toad, these little puppies cruised! When my sister came back out with fresh drinks, I pointed out the lady bugs and stated; “I believe that one of mine (the one spinning in circles) will reach the end of the porch ceiling first!” She started giggling and said “You’re on!”

So who won the race? No one, everyone, who really cares? The whole point of this is not who wins the race, or how they won the race, but the fun we found along the way. Yes the ladybug is faster, but she is just as dizzy as the toads were.

 

I FOUND THE MEANNING OF LIFE!

/ helbergfarmstories / 6 Comments

So – it’s been about 18 months since our grandson/fire loss. There are still some hard days, but I am exceedingly tickled to announce that my sister is baking again! THIS IS A MILESTONE!! It is her passion and, in the terms of therapy for our family, a sign that things are getting better. This has made me come to realize what the meaning of life is…passion!

Now don’t get your nickers in a twist – I consider things like “caring for your fellow man/woman” to be a given! There are just some things in life that should not need a reason for being. It should be a subconscious action (I know it is not for many of us, but I like to believe we are trying?!) to look out for one another. The meaning of life though, should be an individual thing. It should be your reason for getting up in the morning and wanting to greet another day. To me that is –passion!

For the longest time, after the loss, I have been worried about my sister. Granted, we have had a lot on our plates that needed to be accomplished first; and putting our lives back together has been (still is) quite a task. It took me several months to find my passions again (you can check out my Pinterest page – GardenGlows  or my Etsy page.), but I am very glad to say they came back. Hers’ did not appear until just this last weekend.

DSC_0016  (one of my fav passions in life – knitting!)

I didn’t want to push her, since she was trying to handle the losses in her own way; however, there comes a time when a little shove can go a long way – as long as no one can tell you are doing it!?! I have to admit, I have the same basic problem – don’t rush me – and – leave me alone, I will do it when I am ready. Then there is a time when someone has to step in and let you know you are overdue for a bit of happiness.

I have been dropping hints for months! I bought her 2 fantastic magazine subscriptions on cooking. A couple of outstanding huge cook books (only a fraction of the ones she lost in the fire). Tons of cooking supplies/appliances/stuffs to help nudge her a bit. All this only seemed to be put on a shelf. Then, totally on her own, this last weekend she found her passion again!

Corned beef and potatoes, pecan bars (all from scratch even sat and cracked the nuts so they were fresh), homemade tomato soup from our own tomatoes (yep – prepped, processed, cooked and seasoned – yummy!), and one of my all-time favorites – homemade, from scratch, Italian Bread!

DSC_0018 DSC_0019

Now there are 2 things in life that automatically say home to me: 1) The smell of fresh baking/baked bread and 2) The smell of fresh baking/baked desserts – of any kind!  When you walk into someone’s home and they are in the middle of cooking something, it immediately brings on a warm, welcoming feeling. It makes me remember get-togethers with friends and family, where we three girls could be found helping dad cook everything up days ahead of time (yes – DAD – not mom, she was a terrible cook – melted a metal pot of water on the stove trying to make noodles? True story – LOL).

I hope that everyone reading this has a passion in their life and, more than that, I hope you are following it.  May it bring you excitement, comfort, joy, and a major reason to get up every morning filled with the desire to share it with the world!

WHERE DID THEY ALL COME FROM?

/ helbergfarmstories / 10 Comments

Attack of the killer Monarch’s – eeekkkk! OK, so they don’t really attack, they don’t bite or tear your flesh off (maybe a zombie butterfly would? Hmm??). They don’t really hurt anything in their butterfly form. But looking at our blue mist bush in the corner of the yard gave us a moment to pause and ponder…where did they all come from?

We have always had Monarch’s passing through, but this year the hoard is awesome! They were clinging to our elm trees when first spotted. We just thought it was nice of them to see us as a rest area. By the next morning we had this:DSC_0015 This looks like just one single beauty – but look again:

DSC_0016

The bush was invaded by butterflies! Monarchs first caught my eye, then when I followed them, I found the bush covered in butterflies. I don’t know what all the names are, there is a smaller version of the monarch (in color) but with grey fringed edges. A smaller yellow with bits of green, and I also recognized the cabbage moth (often mistook as a butterfly) floating around the bush. The honey bees were also going crazy sucking the nectar off the flowers. My belief is that this must be the best time of year for the blue mist to give off sweetness. That would explain the insect coverage.

I stood and stared at it for several minutes, then I thought, “I don’t care why there are all here, just glad they paid us a visit!”

DSC_0003

We have seen farmers spending decades on getting rid of weeds in their fields. Unfortunately a lot of those “weed” are food sources or habitats for a number of other creatures. The milkweed pod plant is a favorite of the Monarch but, until this year, we didn’t have many around. Now we have bunches! Even our county road crew was nice enough to leave them alone in our ditches. There are a number of things that love the milkweed pod plant. It also has the added benefit of creating a great dried little cup type form that works great on a number of crafting projects (makes great Spock-type ears for our pumpkins – hee hee). This year (if I can collect enough) I want to try a wreath out of them.

I don’t know where they all came from this year. I don’t know where they are going to (Mexico I think?), but I am very thrilled that they used us as a pit-stop for several days. I hope that we gave them enough rest and food for energy to get them through the balance of their journey. Can’t wait to see what surprise we get next year! Monster Monarchs Munch Mexico?? Enjoy!