I have a 5-year Q&A journal that I purchased just after the fire. I did this mainly out of fun. I have a regular journal that I track major stuff in, but this one narrows things down to a simple singular question. This was for today: Are you seeking excitement or contentment?
Since this mini book records several years in a row, I found it interesting that the last two years I was excited about things. Things that, to date, really have not come to pass (bummed a bit on that one). However, now I find that I am seeking contentment more than excitement.
Too many things, good and bad, have happened over a very short period of time. I have learned, once again, to appreciate all that I do have. I also appreciate the things I can still do. Maybe this has made me mellow as I age (eeek-really hope not)? I prefer to be content with the things I have, the people I share things with, and the way things are in general.
I am learning not to be so upset by things I cannot control (we will NOT get into politics in here!), but working on things that I can control. The hardest issue yet to work on is “time” – it’s still a bugger for me.
I used to live by the watch on my wrist, which is pretty sad if you think about it. There was nothing else to let me know what I was doing except that watch and my day timer. No cel phones, no ipads or tablets, not even laptops (they didn’t come out till much later).
I remember the first computer I ever used (and fell in love with) was the old punch-card type (for those that do not know what I am talking about: check out these pics!) That and typewriters got me hooked on keyboards, but they did not keep my schedule.
I no longer have a watch. The fire took what I did have, and then my cel phone just slowly seemed to sneak in and replace it (my new “monster” inanimate object). I just keep alarms now. They go off with all kinds of different noises when I need to do or be aware of something. Being a writer at heart, I still keep a physical pen-and-ink day timer. I find something comforting in paper and pen things.
Then again, it may just be because I am addicted to these things worse than a drug addict (yes, I am positive on this!). I CANNOT walk past a stationary store or section of a store without checking it out. I physically and mentally have to keep telling myself – “Walk on – no you have enough and don’t need another!” I also have issues with the crafting areas.
This leads me back to the contentment in life again. With time constantly slipping through my hands,
I try to focus on the things that really matter to me now. My family, our critters, and gardens, the farm, and all my personal passions. I have no need for huge social affairs anymore. I prefer a comfortable get-together with a bunch of good friends. I look forward to a moment of peace which is, unfortunately, few and far between. My excitement now is only produced when I complete a crafting project for a family member of loved one.
I don’t think this is an age thing. I think it is deeper than that. We hunt all of our lives for peace. We seek out like-minded individuals so we don’t have to be continually on the lookout. I will always look to improve whatever I can for whomever I can but, all-in-all, I am content!