QUOTE CHALLENGE – DAY 3, Thanx Oscar Wilde!

This one is actually a quote from Oscar Wilde

No good deed plack

 Perfect example:

Good Samaritan

I know there are those of you out there who still believe that good deeds will be rewarded.  You go right on believing that if it makes you feel good.  As for me, not a chance.

I do believe and follow the following:

  • Do unto others as you would have them do unto you (this one gets tricky)
  • An eye for an eye (and I usually am not the one doing the “for an eye” bit – but I have been lucky enough to witness the results – woo hoo!)
  • Bad things come in 3’s (or 4’s or 5’s or 6’s…)
  • Smile, it makes people wonder what you are up to. (This was from my mother.  She would do this to people she didn’t like just cuz it would freak them out – LOL)
  • Murphy’s Laws: For those of you that are not familiar with it:

murphys laws

If you are not laughing with me by now, you need to see your doctor.  Life is just too darn short not to push harder to see the humor in as much of it as possible!

Laugh on people, laugh on!!

laugh wrinkles  i said trim

(now that’s funny!)

Follow my blog with Bloglovin


Grow or Die – this may sound a bit harsh, but it is what we live by on the farm.  Obtained it from our parents when we were kids growing up on an 80-acre farm in Wisconsin.  If any of you have been lengthy gardeners and/or farmers you may understand this.


4-25-16 onion plot


Now, the thing you have to realize on this is, that we say it with a very firm voice to everything on the farm!  There is no time or room for pleasantries, politeness, or pampering (although the last one wins out on occasion).

The funny thing about it – IT WORKS!?!

We have found that if you try to plant something and use too much T.L.C. – it fails.  Transplanting, seed starting, trimming – all of it gets attacked and told to either “Grow or Die!”  We don’t have time to fiddle around with “maybe I will, maybe I won’t” attitudes around here. (yes, I am LMAO while typing this, just cuz it’s true!)

(FYI – to add to your humor consideration, the pic above was my beautiful onion plot after I spent a  whole, hot day laying down newspaper, dragging over tons of our homemade compost and sticking my bulbs into it with appropriate spacing.  By the very next morning, the guineas and chickens had torn it to shreds.  LIFE LESSON # 5BILLION: Either fence it off well or put it in the greenhouse – duh! LMAO – they died – lol)


Follow my blog with Bloglovin


I used to be able to plan things. I can’t anymore. My resolution this year is to put more laughter back into my life. Now who would have thought that could be such a hard thing to do? My family, by nature, is made up of a bunch of class clowns. Our parents (because of my grandparents I’m sure) make sure that we were raised with a sense of humor.

I have been trying desperately to “go with the flow” of things this year; that’s not working either. Too many things are causing me to be side-tracked. Uninvited, or better, unexpected circumstances. Example:

•The fire across the street on an extremely windy day.
•The kid from another state broken down in our driveway.
•Getting sucked into helping a broken-down kid (for two months now – grr).
•Child uprooting their life – AGAIN.
•Hot weather – wet weather – cold weather – dry weather – windy weather – no wind weather – ALL IN ONE WEEK.
•Grasshoppers from hell and barn fowl that would rather dig up my potatoes than eat them?

These, from a distance, may not seem like much, but when they are hitting all together at the same time – ENOUGH ALREADY! Time for a really – REALLY – deep breath…


snoopy n charlie brown happy joy

I have decided to fight back at all my “Unexpected’s” starting today!  So I, Rachel Helberg, do at this moment initiate the following rules into my life (again):

1.More Laughter.  This will be brought about by the following:

  • Stop longer during barn fowl feeding time and actually watch all the baby birds at play.  We have both baby chickens and baby guinea birds.  They are all in a variety of colors, and some are now old enough to chase bugs – NOW THAT’S FUNNY!  Try not to laugh when a couple of chicks are chasing a grasshopper that is almost as big as them.
  • Pick off one of my new fresh tomatoes and instead of bringing it in for processing, sit down and gobble the whole thing all by myself.  Let it squirt out and drool down my front (it’s my farm shirt anyway – already dirty – lol).
  • Watch the wild barn kittens play whack-a-mole with each other on a wood pile.
  • Stop and look around more – there are so many great things to see and laugh at and will be missed if I don’t stop to enjoy them.
  • Stay up till after dark and look up – remember what stars look like?!?
  • Get the water squirt guns out more and nail my grandson before he gets me (ya, usually don’t get this one right – lol).

2. JUST SAY “NO”… to the following

Life suckers.  These are the people that slowly suck the life out of you.  Unfortunately, they are usually hooked in before you even know they are attacking.  They approach you so gently, innocently, and sneaky (was going to say sneakily – but I don’t think that’s a word?).  Before you know it, they have you doing all kinds of things you really do not want to do.

  • I don’t want to drive you somewhere because you are too lazy to walk.
  • I don’t want to run you around because you lost your license.
  • I don’t want to give you our food because you blew all your money on a tattoo instead of getting your own food.
  • I don’t want to wait on my laundry because you don’t think to finish yours.

The above are just examples of ways I get “sucked in” to doing stuff because I am (so I’ve been told) too nice.  This becomes a major emotional conflict for me.  I want to believe and follow the “do unto others” scenario, but there are now too many others in life that are completely unfamiliar that statement.  So how do I turn it off?  AND – do I want to turn it off?  We have seen that there are good people out there, and hope we are in that group.  But how do you spot the “Suckers” and stop them before they drain you into vampire-ism (you know – lifeless).

 creapy face

3. More Self Meditating (NOT MEDICATING – although that’s a thought too – hee hee)

I did have a ritual in the evening that I developed in which I took 1-hour before bed to just sit quietly and contemplate nothing.  I KNOW – SOUNDS CRAZY RIGHT?  Not really.  It is very relaxing and refreshing at the same time.  I listen to myself breathe, thinking about purple cows (this trick is from a very good family friend).  Try it – there is no such thing in the world as a purple cow, so you really have to focus to try to picture one.  This little trick manages to push back all the jumbled mess I had rolling around up there from the day and force it to drift away.  (FYI – one bit of helpful info before you try this – – – make sure you write down any/everything you need to remember for the future.  If you don’t it may slip away from you – lmao – yes, happened to me a lot until I set a notepad beside my meditating area – duh!)

Hopefully, these three little changes will bring back my laughter.  My sister has been helping a ton with our Friday Night Game Night.  We started this for my Grandson.  It is our special family time to just play games.  It doesn’t matter what they are as long as we are doing it all together.  The current favs are Yahtzee and Trouble.  Have to admit that a couple of beers and a game of Yahtzee can be very therapeutic.  Especially when you start bringing up stupid things from your past like “how did we survive being kids?”  Now there are some funny stories….for another day!

biker on pink bike

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

What Is That Doing There?

My Grandson is brilliant!  Ok, on most days.  However, he was helping me weed, and I stepped in to check something and here this “Grandma come look?”  I couldn’t drop what I was doing so I just asked him to wait a minute – my mistake (ok, now in retrospect, maybe this is my fault??!!).

He comes prancing in all excited, “I found a ladybug flower!”  I quickly (now I’m still not looking at him) correct him, “No Honey, you mean a ladybug ON a flower.”  He then instantly shoved the flower in my face and said: “NO – It’s a Ladybug Flower!”  I’ll be darned; he was right:

6-15-ladybug poppie 4 Front Side

6-15-ladybug poppie backside  Back Side

Now the really weird part – WE DO NOT GROW THESE? LMAO!!  I was shocked (and that doesn’t often happen anymore) – “Where did you find this and why did you pull it out by the root?”

He said he had to show me it, and that is why he pulled it (luckily it came up root and all).  Here is where it came from:

6-15-16 where ladybug flower pulled

In the corner between these three bricks- I still can’t figure it out?  However, I quickly put the plant in a tall glass put in about a teaspoon of sugar and a touch of root starter.  I’ll be darned – it’s still growing:

poppie still growing

It has three more pods getting ready to open?!  Now the true test:  I have heard that you cannot transplant poppies.  I have a perfect spot I want to put it in outside (hope it will flourish and have babies – hee hee), so I’m gonna shove it in the ground, give it some good top soil and see what happens.  Wish me luck – it’s just too pretty to let die!  And “ladybug flower” was just too cute!


Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Grandma, Why Do You Walk So Funny?

Out of the mouth of babes, Grandma, why do you walk funny? (It should be noted that he is now mimicking me – I want to growl, but started laughing instead – little jerk! LOL) Since he has ADHD, and since he thinks computer games are way better than gardening; I decided to show him in pictures:


dried footer

Became this:

DSCF5135  DSCF5121

And now is this:

20160605_091933 (1).jpg


rasp before 6-5-16.jpg

Became this:

raspberry row after 6-4-16

This and so much more was all done with the help of things like this:

my R shoulder xray-after.jpg 

Several great doctors, modern technology, and some really strong metal and plastic parts (hope I don’t rust – hee hee).

Before the new body parts, I could not lift my right arm without my left arm’s help.  Both knees were sitting bone-on-bone (cartilage totally gone in both), and one foot had bones that shattered as my beautiful doctor tried to fix it (and NO – none of them were named – Frankenstein).  The other foot is yet to be determined, but it is useable on most days, so I’m ok for now.

On good days, I walk upright.  On fun days, I walk like the Hunchback of Notre Dame (of course, then I have to chase him around the yard yelling “Where’s my bell?  Give me my bell?” with a lisp of course.)

So, my answer to my grandson is – I HAVE EARNED IT!

My walk came hand-in-hand over time just like my wrinkles.  The real answer is: just too much fun growing up, so now I pay the piper.  With any luck, by the time everything gives out, I will have it all completely replaced and then have a great excuse for not knowing who that lady is in the mirror!  He is only seven, so he didn’t get the joke.  It was too hard to explain why I couldn’t stop laughing at this point, so I just tickled him for a while.

Then I proceed to tell him all about the reasons why Grandma is so silly all the time – but that is a whole other story.

goofy frankenstein


Follow my blog with Bloglovin


I have not been able to keep up with my stories to you; spring has sprung at last! With that being said, here is part of my “to-do” list and my reason for worry about the green thingys:

1.FIND THE FRONT YARD (looks kinda like Where’s Waldo – hee hee, there is a cat in there somewhere?!)! This one is first as foremost as it is where we get to sit back and enjoy a day’s job well done. The non-stop rains we have had, along with our outstandingly perfect temps have made everything green and alive GO NUTS!

DSC_0001 (1).JPG

(yes, the wind finally took out the play set-however- it will be recycled into a tree fort)
2.Get the corn in. Ok, I know all you farmers/gardeners out there are growling at me – yes it is about a month late! Again, our great spring weather this year has not been cooperative. If I had planted it when I wanted, it would have frozen out (several deep freezes since mid-April).

DSC_0007 (1).JPG

(yes, there are plots here, just can’t see them.  I will post when done to show the difference.)

3. Build the new PVC Climber structure.  A couple of months ago I found a great structure.  When I asked around for plans, no one knew.  So I dug deeper and actually found the creator.  He said he did not have any plans (he just winged it – eek, lol – I do that all the time!), but he did have the sizes of PVC that he used.  That was at least a start.  Well, I have spent the last couple months creating plans.  Now I just need to get to Home Depot and get the parts.  It needs to go up asap as we want a ton of things on it this year.  Everything from cucs to melons.  We also hope to get it growing thick enough that we can set up some mid and late season cooler weather crops inside of it – wish us luck on this one!

4. Mowing, trimming, and more mowing.  We have gone from 40 degrees and straight rain (not normal for Colorado), to 75+ and full sun (this is normal) overnight.  This is going to be a non-stop thing for right now anyway.  I just mowed the main areas last weekend, and they need it again already (again not normal)!  Thank goodness my sister was smart, and we finally broke down and got a riding lawn tractor with a wagon.  It has been my “body saver” – literally!  With osteoarthritis sneak attacking my joints, just getting up and down in entertaining.  The right shoulder was so disintegrated that it needed a full reverse replacement.  The joint is metal and plastic, and if I pull or push too hard, it pops out of socket – NOW THERES A FUN TRIP!?!  Then I am laid up until it decides to go back in.  I did find that if I put ice on it, lay flat on a floor or bed, and relax (now there’s the trick when you are in excruciating pain); it will usually slide back in.  Then the jerky thing acts like nothing happened at all – instant no pain.  Go figure?
5. strong>Clean up and prep the rest of the garden plots (outside) and get those seeds going. We are working on the weedless gardening method this year, so it takes longer to get prepped.  The hope is that once we have it going, there will be much less weeding in future years – we hope!?!

DSC_0009 (1).JPG

6. Trim up trees and get the suckers root starting in hopes to transplant into new areas – increase our tree and bush populations.  We have spice bushes popping up all over the place (normal), want to put in a bunch for wind blocking in appropriate areas.

So, this is just a fraction of my actual to-do list.  Growing up on an 80-acre farm in Wisconsin, I knew it is a non-stop job.  But this year there seems to be a ton of extras to be done.  First is most definitely the front yard – have to have that relaxing resting spot before all else!

(Oh – FYI – my list is up to #50 and still growing – ouch – all spring, summer and fall projects – JOY!)

relax frog w drink


Follow my blog with Bloglovin


My mother had a quick, fantastic wit!  Fortunately, her three daughters carry on the tradition.  I (to this day) am always saying, “When I get around to it.”As soon as I can get around to it.”  Well, my mother (bless her soul) took this very literally one year for Christmas.  She liked to go “junking” for Christmas gifts…2nd hand stores, flea markets, and whatever little side street hidden treasure spot she could find.  She found these during one of her excursions:


Not the rod ends but the old wooden circle thingies to hang your curtain on.  (This pic is from Ebay because mine were lost in the fire.)  These old round beauties are exactly what I saw when I opened the box.

She placed them in a nice old wooden bowl that she also found on one of her junking trips.  Inside the bowl, on top of the wooden circles was a card (like a business card) that simply stated:

Now you cannot say when you get a “roundtoit,” here is a whole bowl full of them.  Hope you get your projects done at last.  Love Mom

My Christmas gift was the highlight of the season that year.

I just wanted to share this little tidbit with you so that you will never let that phrase escape your head again (sharing is caring!).  I still say it.  I have heard tons of younger people say it.  I am sure that most of you have said, or will say it.  However, you now cannot avoid the physical implications of putting something off for the sake of not having a roundtoit anymore.

Aahhh, one of the life’s great lessons shared with the world – enjoy!

Minion mom quote

(From my Pinterest board: Just for fun and smiles)

Pretty sure I need a new HUGE bowl full of them now! 

When I get around to it. LOL

Follow my blog with Bloglovin


I went out, as normal, last Wednesday morning to do the morning chores thingy. A few of the idiot guineas did not want to go in from the night before, so they were left out (can you say coyote bait?). Well, they were squawking up a storm, which usually means an uninvited visitor. Most times it is a fox or coyote and by the time I hear the ruckus someone is already a meal-deal.

Low and behold this is what I saw:

wild turkey 3

Sorry, it is a bit blurry, he was about 50 yards from the front pen and would not stop moving.

Then Thursday morning I found this (about 20 feet away from me):

wild turkey 1

Here’s another view in the same spot:

wild turkey 2

Check out the colors – amazing! He was now right up in our pens. I let our “boys” out (it’s only one extra rooster – Buddy, and one red turkey- Whiskey) and the boys decided to have a flirt-off.   All they did was follow each other around for about 3 hours, fanning and un-fanning their tail feathers – funny to watch though!

Our turkey,

Whiskey 4-20-16

Is of course much bigger, fatter and goofier than his wild cousin. Whiskey will follow me all over the yards and gardens when I am working outside. The Wild Thing proved that they are just as dense as domestics. We live right by an on-ramp to the highway. Wild Thing likes to walk our lane down to the field, except one morning he wanted a detour.

The stupid bird followed ON the road along the on-ramp fence line – eeek! My sister and I stood and watched for about 30 minutes. Every single vehicle didn’t matter the size, which came up on him he would fluff and strut right out in front of it!? The vehicles would slow down, come to a full stop, then slowly make their way around him. It was hysterical to watch. Then again, we also know the secret to him and his car heists…simply step out of the car (yes, I am still laughing out loud on this) and he runs like a scared chicken! Go figure? A 2 to 5-ton vehicle does not feel like a threat to him (even though it could turn him into Thanksgiving dinner in a heartbeat), but a two-legged human makes him duck-and-cover (yes, I am pun-ing all over the place – and not apologizing for it either, hee hee). He eventually gave up on his Goliaths’ and sauntered back down into the field, eventually back into the woods.

Today is now a week since he first ventured up and he is still doing it. I took my grandson to school today, came back home about 8 am; he met me at the gate to the driveway. I saw him in this field as I left fanning at a plastic bag stuck in the wire fence. I drove around to the fence at which point he came charging after my car. The minute I opened the door he screeched to a halt – watching me. I ventured a glance his way and softly spoke, “Hi Pretty Boy, want to come play with our birds?” He didn’t answer, just watched as I grabbed the bag, went back into my car, and drove back by the chicken coop. I decided to let the boys out again this morning, and as of this moment, he took me up on my offer and is back chasing with our Whiskey again.

I really do love our unexpected visitors – especially when they are wild ones. Oh, and, Arlene; you will be happy to know that we now have three new baby bunnies enjoying the fruits of our labors in our gardens. (They are about 4-5” long and no I do not have the heart to terminate them. As much as I hate them eating our efforts, I have decided to do some better fencing instead. Big Giant Pansie that I am, especially with anything “baby” critter-ish. You all can laugh at me now!)

bb bunny

Happy spring gardening! May you have your own uninvited visitors!

(P.S.  If you are not giggling wildly by now, go back and visit Whiskey’s pic – see that HUGE breast on him?  You should see it wobble when he gets excited and runs!  Then again, most of him wobbles when he runs.)



Follow my blog with Bloglovin


Yes, it is a maneuver (For anyone that has ever watched Eddie Izzard stand-up comedy – this is perfectly stated here)! Someone somewhere has decreed that you must gain weight back quickly after it has cost you great time, pain, and effort to get it off! Jerks!!

I do not normally give a flying monkey butt about what people think about me or the way I look. I have fun!! When I dig in the dirt, I get dirty. When I clean the house, I get dusty. When I build or tear apart something for the farm, I get hot and (yes girls) sweaty. You would think that with all of that going on I would be the size of a twig – Nooot!

It is my birthday today! I now have the following:

  • Right shoulder – complete reverse replacement.
  • Left shoulder – gut/clean-up for bone spurs.
  • Right and left shoulder both – front tendons cut due to arthritis pulling them too far forward. (can lift things to a point, not as much weight and not at a certain angle – unfortunately, coffee pots are at the angle so now it takes two hands for my morning boost – boo hoo!)
  • Both knees – complete replacements.
  • Half my left foot – replaced with a metal plate, pins and joints.
  • All of the above due to osteoarthritis – oh lucky me!

Oops, almost forgot

  • Left index finger – half amputated from a severe infection (never try this one at home kiddies). The only bummers with this one are my typing (used to be over 100 wpm, not no more) and my yarn work (though this part is sometimes fun to watch – pick up the yarn with your left index finger and maneuver it over the needle – ya right?!). Luckily can still dig in the dirt!

All of the stuff bulleted above happened within a 1-year time and began just a couple months after our fire loss of 2014. Oddly enough, I am in a happy, happy, joy, joy mood today – what’s up with that?

peanuts happy dance

Before all of this hit, I had lost over 40 pounds doing physically hard work and my new jobs, which was the biggest thrill of doing them! It took over two years to get it down that much.

Well, I thought I was smart (idiot!), having the left foot done as soon as I was able to tolerate the left knee pain, but was semi-bed ridden for 3+ months for healing time. I was not allowed to put ANY pressure on the foot at all. I tried crutches – oops, not that coordinated (help, I fell and couldn’t get up because I couldn’t stop laughing at myself on the floor), then bought a “knee scooter” – BEST INVENTION EVER!!!

knee scooter

(you can see why he just had to fly around the house on it -p.s. love the basket!)

I got pretty good at the end of my 2nd month at whipping around on that hummer – weeee! My grandson loved it too, except he could actually sit on it and ride it around. Didn’t care until I needed to go to the bathroom, then somehow it was always out-of-reach? (little bugger!)

During this “down time,” I managed to gain back all the weight I worked so hard on getting off. My big question here is – why? I tried hard to watch what I ate, but the body decided it just did not like the idea of me lazin around.

It was a painfully long haul maneuvering (there’s that word again-grr), the metal and plastic parts. One of the first dumbest stunts was opening a door too fast and too far back! Swung that sucker wide and popped my right shoulder right out of socket – now doesn’t that just look pretty??!!! It sticks out like a 2nd head popping out of my shoulder. Can you say OUCH! Oh and here’s the other kicker – it doesn’t just “pop” back in – nooooo – I have to maneuver it around – gently – to get it to slide back in. Hard lesson learned real fast! (my father would be proud – “you dumb shit” – flew out of my mouth instantly, for those of you that don’t know, it was his pet name for me – and yes, I am laughing hysterically writing this!)

shoulder reverse replacement

(hee hee – picture that plate sliding right off that ball toward your chest – “dumb shit!” – LOL)

Yes, Mo (my outstanding Therapist, and he even knows how to guilt me like a dad – lol), I am doing my therapy! However, with two years of neglected gardens screaming at me, I can’t wait for my mess to heal. Throw on my shorts, head sweat band, grab my tools and to the gardens I go! I think I have subconsciously taught myself to watch how much I pick up, how I pick it up and how I maneuver (that wonderful “m” word once again attacks). So me, my metal and plastic parts, my wrinkles, and lightly graying hairs hope you all have such fun birthdays as this! (Oh, and it’s raining with a chance of snow – grr!)

cake silly face


Follow my blog with Bloglovin


I love getting, what I like to call, left-field information! This is the stuff that you would not normally dig up, or even think to dig up. Such is the case of a recent email from my family – – -“ April 20th, 2016 will be a night of the “GREEN MOON”…this appearance only happens about every 420 years and will only last about 90 minutes.

green moon

So, being the OCD researcher that I am, I went digging for more information and found this on the earthsky.org website:

There are several versions this (completely untrue) story, and we’ve gotten many questions about it from within our community, from people wanting to know if it’s true. Here’s the main version: the moon will appear green for the first time in 420 years on April 20, 2016. True? No, not even kinda. Snopes called it:

… entirely humorous in nature.

And it is pretty funny when you think about April 20 (4-20) and 420 years, and realize that 420 is a code word for marijuana (invented, according to Urban Dictionary, by “dozen pot-smoking wiseacres” at San Rafael High School in 1971) and that the date April 20 has special meaning to some as Weed Day.

All of that notwithstanding, many appear to be taking April 20, 2016, green moon literally.

And we repeat … it’s not true.

pot moon

Sad but true – it’s not real – boo hoo hoo! I love watching the moon, especially on a perfect fall evening. The crispness in the air, maybe a distant owl hooting, calm (or no) breeze, the smells of the fading harvest starting to diminish, and that big glowing moon up above. We have a couple of fire pits so, of course, at least one would be crackling. It feels like my younger camping out days, but now with the modern conveniences (mainly indoor toilets – what a relief! – yes, pun intended, sorry.)

I have seen bright white ones, ones that appeared so HUGE that you could almost reach out and touch it. Blood moons (ahh, brings out that little-hidden witch in me – hee hee), Blue moons, and, of course, Circle moons.

Blood Moon   Blue Moon

Circle moons are the type of which my mother would swear a storm was coming soon. She has me watching for it to this day. If you have a big bright moon, bright enough with all the right conditions to bring on what looks like an outer ring around it – that is your circle moon. Now check and see if there are any stars in that space between the moon and its outer circle. Count the number of starts and that is supposed to be the number of days until your storm. See – left field information – gotta love it!

Circle Moon

Silly me forgot to check it last night. According to actual weather people, we are in for a wild one over the next several (yep – several) days. It is supposed to dump two months of wet on us in just a few days. Not real sure how I want to take that. We can always use more moisture here. Since all the spring sprouting is going on, it may be perfect timing. Then again, with the weird winters we have had, (and they hint this may hold snow in it) this could be the totally wrong time of year for a wicked freeze. Not really unusual here, just another year of bad timing on Mother Nature’s part.

So my Fellow Dirt Dwellers, hang around for a few days, and I will share with you what messes we can get into. Hope for at least a few puddles to jump in when it’s all over and the sun comes back?!

Follow my blog with Bloglovin