laughter

THE FIRST TIME I TRIED TO DIE (no, not on purpose!).

/ helbergfarmstories / 5 Comments

To this day I cannot keep my hands off baby animals.  Don’t care what kind of animal it is, just as long as it is in baby form.  Adults, not so much.

On a farm, there is always some type of babies being born.  If it wasn’t my 4-H rabbits, it was the cousin’s pig.  Well, one fine year we had a Welsh Pony, her name was Dolly.  She was a booger!  The meanest pony I ever met.  Once you got the bridle and saddle on her, she was fun to ride.  Trying to get them on without her stepping on your foot or trying to nip you was another story.  I don’t know where or when it happened, but she got pregnant and had a colt.  A beautiful black and white spotted thing just like her.

dolley and baby

I can’t tell you how many times dad warned us NOT to go near Dolly.  She was very protective of her baby, as a mother should be.  Did I listen?  Nope!  I would go out there for hours and try to get close enough to touch the baby.

There was a small shed out in their pen with the door and window blown out.  Dolly would hide in there with her baby, and I knew it.  I would crawl up to the side of the building and try to reach in to get to touch the baby.  Never worked.

One day I decided I was just going to do it!  Just who did this pony think was the boss anyway?  So, I put on my little cowboy boots, grabbed my coat and off I went.  I marched right into that pen, right up to the pony and that was the last thing I remember of that encounter.

Apparently, she knew she was the boss and the moment I got too close, she decided to show me.  Swung her butt around and planted a hoof square on my head – knocked me out cold.  I was lucky for two reasons:

  1.  Dolly did not want to come after me for more damage once I was down.
  2. Dad saw the whole thing.

He managed to get me to the house (back then you didn’t just rush off to the hospital or doctor, you tried to handle it at home first.) where mom took over and eventually I came around.

Now, I’m not going to say I was okay.  As far as “ok” – that is still left to be determined (sure hope not)!  However, I was an idiot back then, and I will continue to prove this to you in my future family stories. (FYI – Dad’s nickname for me was “Dumb Shit” for a reason.)

headache dog

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

IS THERE ANYTHING BETTER THAN A RAINY DAY?

/ helbergfarmstories / 1 Comment

There is just something about a rainy day that I just love.  I can’t quite pin it down to one single thing.  Maybe it is because I hold so many great reasons:

  • Rainwater is best for all the plants.  Veg, flower, bush and tree all look and act so much better with rain water.  Even more so than our well-water.
  • A steady rain (like what is going on now) makes me feel major creative!  Writing, sewing, knitting, crocheting, even cooking (SHOCKER – for me anyway, I normally do not do the cooking here, and it is not one of my passions – love the eating part, but my Sis does the awesome cooking in our household).
  • Something calming for me in the sound of the rain falling, especially on a tin roof (our outbuildings all have tin roofs).
  • The sound of the wind whipping up, rain pouring down, throw in some lightning and thunder and I can fall right to sleep (hee hee- I know, it keeps most people up but not me – so weird).
  • Then there is the childhood part of it.  When I was young, we couldn’t wait for the rain to come.  It meant fresh fruits and veggies to pick and eat, mud puddles to stomp around in, and the added benefit of hot cocoa when we finally came into the house soaking wet and cold.  It meant something warm and comforting for me.  Snow does the same thing.

I am much older now; I also have osteoarthritis (in all my joints) which can mean some painful moments on these types of days.  I believe my contentment overrides the pain.  Maybe it is also seeing something accomplished.  I used to work in offices and factories.  At the end of the day, I always felt like I didn’t accomplish anything.  There was still a pile of work left to be done on the next day, and it all looked the same.  Now I can work on a project and actually see that it is complete.  The next day will bring a new project.  Sure, I have some projects that take more time than others, but the overall feeling is of accomplishment.

So, this morning is time to finish a sewing project for a friend’s horses:

8-25 sew proj

Then vacuum seal some meat:

8-25 vac sealer

Maybe work some more on knitting projects:

8-25 knit work

Then later I have to fry up some chicken and cook some rice to put on zucchini boats to be grilled this weekend (notice, the least fav thing to do is last – hee hee).

Then I usually end my days by sitting in my recliner and working on the yarn projects again.  I never have just one going at a time.  Right now I am working on 5.  A couple of these are birthday gifts; a couple are going to be sold in my Etsy shop, and the other is one that I am actually doing just for me – woo hoo!

Tomorrow is supposed to be warmer and sunny (boo hoo), so I guess it’s time to do the “real work” – PROCESSING HARVEST  yum!

 

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

THAT DAY MY YOUNGER SISTER “ALMOST” DIED?

/ helbergfarmstories / 4 Comments

This is the start of something new for my blog.  These are still Helberg Farm Stories, but they are from our family past.  I have decided to share some of my fondest memories one day a week, then current happenings another.  Hope you enjoy reading these as much as I loved living them.

This first one happened when my younger sister was 4, and I was 6 (and yes, I do remember it very well).  (F.Y.I.  my younger sister will be “D” and older will be “M”, in case they do not agree with my humor – hee hee)

It was a normal spring day in Wisconsin.  It had rained the night before, so everything was very wet (a Wisconsin natural state of being).  Mom was tired of hearing us fight – AGAIN – so she kicked us outside.  Looking around for a bit, riding became the order of the day.

Now that I think back on it all we were pretty lucky.  Our farm was eighty acres of rolling hills, woods, creek, and pond.  We also had great neighbors that would let us ride on their properties.  John’s Woods (the name we gave it) was an excellent place to ride and let the child imaginations run wild.  It was about 2 miles long with a perfect square cut out in the middle of it.  This is where a ton of our stories happened.  But for today, this one was actually up by the house.

The family garden was about 100 feet long and about 25 feet across.  We had to grow enough to harvest and process to get us through the next fall.  A wooden fence protected the two sides to the field.  We had horses but also raised beef calves and wintered YMCA horses, so we needed the pasture land for all of them.  Our riding this wet morning took us to that area of the pasture.

Mom was in the kitchen cleaning it up which included doing dishes.  The window over the sink for the dishes faced the garden and that part of the pasture – or most of it.  The far end corner could not be seen clearly from this window.  This, I believe, is what made this story most funny (for me anyway, mom didn’t think so.).

I do not remember what game we were playing that day.  I just remember the race.  There was a huge apple tree next to the long side of the garden, but on the pasture side of the fence.  Our goal was to run our horses up to that apple tree, touch it, and race back to the barn.  First back, of course, wins.

My horse, Folly, was a beautiful red and white pinto.  And she was fast!  My sister’s horse was an off-white buckskin with black mane and tail.  Her name was Highstockings because she had four black legs from hoof to knee.  Looked just like she had on high stockings (duh!?!).

pinto   buckskin

Well, we got out to the tree just fine, but on the return trip Highstockings did not make the far garden corner, she lost her footing and rolled over my sister (remember she is only four years old).  Folly, into the moment, ran straight for the barn.  I jumped off and ran to the house and yelled “D.’s dead.”  Mom freaked out as she only caught the tail of the horse making the corner, but did not see the whole fall.

barrell race horse

(yep, we pretended we were this fast!)

Mom and dad both ran out across the back yard and leaped the fence – then stopped dead in their tracks.  Not only was D. just fine, but she had the reins of the horse up to its mouth held firm in her tiny fist.  She had pulled the horses’ head down till its nose was even with her face, which was now covered in mud.  Her little 4-year-old fist was punching the horse in the nose while she was yelling, “Don’t ever do that again!” (Like it was the horse’s fault we were so stupid?)

To the day they died, my parents loved telling this story.  It took all they had not to laugh hysterically at this mud-drenched, 4-year-old little girl, punching a full grown horse (not a pony mind you, we had HORSES!) because it had lost its footing due to her stupidity on taking the corner so fast when it was this wet.  Of course, now it is one of the thousands of great stories we love to tell when the family gets together.

pony vs horse

(Ok, regular horses not Draft horses – but you get the size difference!)

(My only regret sharing these is that the amazing pictures I had saved from back then were all destroyed in our house fire in 2014 – maybe some of my extended family back there will read this and have some to share with me?  Yes, Cousins, that is a hint!)

muddy kid

(This is pretty close to what she looked like, just darker hair and a bit more mud on the face.  The puddle looked the same.)

 
Follow my blog with Bloglovin

I JUST HAVE TO BRAG UP SMART FARM/GARDEN PEOPLE!

/ helbergfarmstories / 3 Comments

The fact that these smart people also happen to be some of our dearest friends is purely coincidental.  We love to think- outside-the-box; you know, look at a stick and see a staircase type of thinkers.  Maybe this is why we have the best close friends in the world, we all think like this.

First example, our own greenhouse.  When we (my sister and I) initially thought about our new farm life, one of the things we knew we had to have was a greenhouse.  If you have the money and the space I highly recommend getting one.  It does not have to be as big as ours, but you need a place to grow your own foods. DSCF5121

I picked this picture to show you that we did build it ourselves (you can also check out my posts from 2012 for a lot more details).  This also gives you an idea of just how big it is.  The out-of-the-box thinking here (Kudos for our friend for thinking of this) is why it is 3 feet in the ground.  You actually have to step down 2 steps to get into it.  The friend also discovered a stellar insulated siding to pour the cement into that gives it a triple insulated side wall on all 4 sides.  The reason for this (for those asking) is to keep it warmer in winter and cooler in summer – on its own – with little to know help needed sometimes in the year.

Well the friend that helped us with this is ALWAYS thinking outside the box.  He came up with a couple of amazing simple things to help on their beautiful gardens.

HAIL – a harsh topic for anyone that loves plants.  You can spend days, months, and years working on your plants, trees, bushes, lawn, gardens and in an instant – HAIL – will destroy all or most all of it – grrr!  Fortunately, (knock on wood) we have not been in the path this year (yet), unfortunately our friends have been for the last several years (major bummer!).  So, Mister Think-Outside-the-Box came up with this nifty idea:

knj garden1

He is (they are) just so ingenious!!  (deserve many, MANY more exclamation points here but my writing checker won’t let me do it – boo hoo!)  Take a good look at this pic.  Not the raised beds, not the walk ways but the top and the slanted boards.  They placed wire hog/field panels (like this):

field pannel

The hole size in the squares is about 4”x4”, some have narrower holes toward the bottom to keep baby pigs in)

All over the tops of their garden spaces.  Then covered that with a finer mesh wire like this:

rabbit wire

Some people call it rabbit wire because the square holes are smaller than the holes in chicken wire and rabbit feet won’t fall through.  These are only about the size of a dime.)

NOW HOW BRILLIANT ARE THEY!!!

Then (like the top wasn’t enough smarts), check out the boards that are slanted in the raised bed.  They also have the hog panels attached to them – FOR THE VINING PLANTS NO LESS!  HOW DO THEY KEEP DOING IT?

They just keep coming up with these outstanding ideas.  How many years have my sister and I cried over lost crops to hail damage, but we never once thought of something so simple (almost seems like it should be common sense – LMAO), but so right?  We have hog panels all over our place, mostly for fencing.  There are some that have been damaged to the point of not hanging on a fence anymore, so they are just lying around – OH DUH!?!  (OK, can’t stop giggling at myself now.)

We have seen the panels used for gardening at this angle:

field panel in use

But never once thought far enough outside-the-box to come up with the perfect ideas that they did (yes, a bit of jealousy here – but just a bit because they are dear friends!).

I know that some of you (my Blogging Buddies) have seen some pretty nasty hail this year (maybe in past years also), so I wanted to share their smarts with those of you that have the same issues with your gardens.  I also wanted to brag up how beautiful their work is:

knj garden 2

Makes you want to just grab a lemonade, pull up a chair and watch the bees and butterflies do their thing.  AND THEY DID IT ALL THEMSELVES! WOW!!  This is not the work of a landscape specialist, it’s just them and their marvelous brains (more exclamation points – can’t help it – I’m just so excited for them)!  They work hard but they also work smart.  They deserve this Kudos!

I love my friends

IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN, ARE YOU LOSING IT?

/ helbergfarmstories / 5 Comments

I find it funny how sometimes I don’t even have to look at a calendar to know what time of the year it is.  It’s not the flowers or the trees; it’s our peacock.  I know, peacock?  Time of year?  This farm gal has gone off the deep end of a shallow pool – ha ha, not!

When it is very warm or very cold the peacock looks like this:

DSC_0022  DSC_0020

Full, beautiful bunch of tail feathers – definitely something to be proud of (and he is).  F.Y.I., they are very vain birds.  We catch him constantly sitting, staring at his reflection in our windows.  So wrong!

They also make great guard dogs.  Nothing gets close to or in our yards without this monster spouting out (if you have never heard one, go to the Denver Zoo -it’s loaded with them, and they are noisy).  The downside to that is we live next to an interstate highway, and on/off ramp for it, and a railroad track.  If any one of those makes an unusual sound (huge bang from train starting up, jake-brake from a semi trying to slow down, etc.), he squawks off.  During the day I don’t mind, but one a.m., I’m looking for a shoe to throw at him (he perches up in the tree outside my window at night – jerk!)!

Well, all I have to do is look for the tell-tale signs in the yard:

DSC_0003

DSC_0002

DSC_0001

 

 

 

 

 

And I will know EXACTLY what time of year it is…

It’s peacock humiliation time – WOOO HOOO!!

DSC_0006

Notice how even he does not want to show his face when his tail looks like this – LMAO!  All of the feathers will drop off before the temps get much lower.  Then he will start to put on new ones before winter.  In the spring we go through the same process – PEACOCK FEATHERS EVERYWHERE!

We had hundreds of them before the fire (boo hoo, all gone), and I was worried.  Silly me!

p feathers 1-yr 8-16-16

This is what we have collected just this year.  The last two years we just let them fly.  This is the feathers of two molting’s sitting there.  Going to have to get a bigger pot to put them in soon – eeek!

 

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

ALRIGHT, JUST WHERE DID THESE COME FROM?

/ helbergfarmstories / 2 Comments

We get a ton of unusual things that happen here on our little farm.  The floods brought up odd looking snakes, beavers, opossum and who know what else has flowed down our way that is hiding yet in the field (we only have about 20 acres).
Every year has brought new surprises.  This year has brought a load of rain.  With the temps we have had, everything should be all dried out by now (that is the ones that are not man irrigated), they are not.  Here is one example of our odd summer season:

8 1 guess we are wet

From far away they just look like little white bumps in our field behind the chickens.  Look again:

8-1 mucho mushrooms

THESE MONSTERS ARE HUGE! (My foot is a women’s size 9)

8-1 size of our shrooms

There are only 4 or 5 of them out there, but the size is what shook my world.  HUGE is putting it mildly.  The sad part is that they are not edible – boo hoo!!  Especially since we love shrooms and put them in everything!  Fresh in a salad, fried loaded on a good steak, mixed with eggs for an outstanding omelet (ok, making myself really hungry now – hee hee), or one of several other goodies.  They just compliment so nicely.

We are lucky, though.  We have an outstanding mushroom farm not too far from us.  They grow several types, and THEY ARE EXCELLENT!  When we go there, we purchase bags and bags of them.  Most of them come home and get dehydrated, but several cups of them get fried up – yummm!

Ok, now I’ve done it!  Gonna have to take a trip there this weekend and get some more.  Since we have a side of beef coming in about a month for the freezer, better have some shrooms ready for it!

sidabeef

(Sorry Vegetarians, but I do love my meat with my veggies!)

QUOTE CHALLENGE – DAY 3, Thanx Oscar Wilde!

/ helbergfarmstories / Leave a comment

This one is actually a quote from Oscar Wilde

No good deed plack

 Perfect example:

Good Samaritan

I know there are those of you out there who still believe that good deeds will be rewarded.  You go right on believing that if it makes you feel good.  As for me, not a chance.

I do believe and follow the following:

  • Do unto others as you would have them do unto you (this one gets tricky)
  • An eye for an eye (and I usually am not the one doing the “for an eye” bit – but I have been lucky enough to witness the results – woo hoo!)
  • Bad things come in 3’s (or 4’s or 5’s or 6’s…)
  • Smile, it makes people wonder what you are up to. (This was from my mother.  She would do this to people she didn’t like just cuz it would freak them out – LOL)
  • Murphy’s Laws: For those of you that are not familiar with it:

murphys laws

If you are not laughing with me by now, you need to see your doctor.  Life is just too darn short not to push harder to see the humor in as much of it as possible!

Laugh on people, laugh on!!

laugh wrinkles  i said trim

(now that’s funny!)

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

QUOTE CHALLENGE DAY 2 – GROW OR DIE.

/ helbergfarmstories / Leave a comment

Grow or Die – this may sound a bit harsh, but it is what we live by on the farm.  Obtained it from our parents when we were kids growing up on an 80-acre farm in Wisconsin.  If any of you have been lengthy gardeners and/or farmers you may understand this.

“GROW OR DIE!”

4-25-16 onion plot

 

Now, the thing you have to realize on this is, that we say it with a very firm voice to everything on the farm!  There is no time or room for pleasantries, politeness, or pampering (although the last one wins out on occasion).

The funny thing about it – IT WORKS!?!

We have found that if you try to plant something and use too much T.L.C. – it fails.  Transplanting, seed starting, trimming – all of it gets attacked and told to either “Grow or Die!”  We don’t have time to fiddle around with “maybe I will, maybe I won’t” attitudes around here. (yes, I am LMAO while typing this, just cuz it’s true!)

(FYI – to add to your humor consideration, the pic above was my beautiful onion plot after I spent a  whole, hot day laying down newspaper, dragging over tons of our homemade compost and sticking my bulbs into it with appropriate spacing.  By the very next morning, the guineas and chickens had torn it to shreds.  LIFE LESSON # 5BILLION: Either fence it off well or put it in the greenhouse – duh! LMAO – they died – lol)

 

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

I HATE BEING SIDE-TRACKED!

/ helbergfarmstories / 6 Comments

I used to be able to plan things. I can’t anymore. My resolution this year is to put more laughter back into my life. Now who would have thought that could be such a hard thing to do? My family, by nature, is made up of a bunch of class clowns. Our parents (because of my grandparents I’m sure) make sure that we were raised with a sense of humor.

I have been trying desperately to “go with the flow” of things this year; that’s not working either. Too many things are causing me to be side-tracked. Uninvited, or better, unexpected circumstances. Example:

•The fire across the street on an extremely windy day.
•The kid from another state broken down in our driveway.
•Getting sucked into helping a broken-down kid (for two months now – grr).
•Child uprooting their life – AGAIN.
•Hot weather – wet weather – cold weather – dry weather – windy weather – no wind weather – ALL IN ONE WEEK.
•Grasshoppers from hell and barn fowl that would rather dig up my potatoes than eat them?

These, from a distance, may not seem like much, but when they are hitting all together at the same time – ENOUGH ALREADY! Time for a really – REALLY – deep breath…

HAPPY – HAPPY – JOY – JOY

snoopy n charlie brown happy joy

I have decided to fight back at all my “Unexpected’s” starting today!  So I, Rachel Helberg, do at this moment initiate the following rules into my life (again):

1.More Laughter.  This will be brought about by the following:

  • Stop longer during barn fowl feeding time and actually watch all the baby birds at play.  We have both baby chickens and baby guinea birds.  They are all in a variety of colors, and some are now old enough to chase bugs – NOW THAT’S FUNNY!  Try not to laugh when a couple of chicks are chasing a grasshopper that is almost as big as them.
  • Pick off one of my new fresh tomatoes and instead of bringing it in for processing, sit down and gobble the whole thing all by myself.  Let it squirt out and drool down my front (it’s my farm shirt anyway – already dirty – lol).
  • Watch the wild barn kittens play whack-a-mole with each other on a wood pile.
  • Stop and look around more – there are so many great things to see and laugh at and will be missed if I don’t stop to enjoy them.
  • Stay up till after dark and look up – remember what stars look like?!?
  • Get the water squirt guns out more and nail my grandson before he gets me (ya, usually don’t get this one right – lol).

2. JUST SAY “NO”… to the following

Life suckers.  These are the people that slowly suck the life out of you.  Unfortunately, they are usually hooked in before you even know they are attacking.  They approach you so gently, innocently, and sneaky (was going to say sneakily – but I don’t think that’s a word?).  Before you know it, they have you doing all kinds of things you really do not want to do.

  • I don’t want to drive you somewhere because you are too lazy to walk.
  • I don’t want to run you around because you lost your license.
  • I don’t want to give you our food because you blew all your money on a tattoo instead of getting your own food.
  • I don’t want to wait on my laundry because you don’t think to finish yours.

The above are just examples of ways I get “sucked in” to doing stuff because I am (so I’ve been told) too nice.  This becomes a major emotional conflict for me.  I want to believe and follow the “do unto others” scenario, but there are now too many others in life that are completely unfamiliar that statement.  So how do I turn it off?  AND – do I want to turn it off?  We have seen that there are good people out there, and hope we are in that group.  But how do you spot the “Suckers” and stop them before they drain you into vampire-ism (you know – lifeless).

 creapy face

3. More Self Meditating (NOT MEDICATING – although that’s a thought too – hee hee)

I did have a ritual in the evening that I developed in which I took 1-hour before bed to just sit quietly and contemplate nothing.  I KNOW – SOUNDS CRAZY RIGHT?  Not really.  It is very relaxing and refreshing at the same time.  I listen to myself breathe, thinking about purple cows (this trick is from a very good family friend).  Try it – there is no such thing in the world as a purple cow, so you really have to focus to try to picture one.  This little trick manages to push back all the jumbled mess I had rolling around up there from the day and force it to drift away.  (FYI – one bit of helpful info before you try this – – – make sure you write down any/everything you need to remember for the future.  If you don’t it may slip away from you – lmao – yes, happened to me a lot until I set a notepad beside my meditating area – duh!)

Hopefully, these three little changes will bring back my laughter.  My sister has been helping a ton with our Friday Night Game Night.  We started this for my Grandson.  It is our special family time to just play games.  It doesn’t matter what they are as long as we are doing it all together.  The current favs are Yahtzee and Trouble.  Have to admit that a couple of beers and a game of Yahtzee can be very therapeutic.  Especially when you start bringing up stupid things from your past like “how did we survive being kids?”  Now there are some funny stories….for another day!

biker on pink bike

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

What Is That Doing There?

/ helbergfarmstories / 6 Comments

My Grandson is brilliant!  Ok, on most days.  However, he was helping me weed, and I stepped in to check something and here this “Grandma come look?”  I couldn’t drop what I was doing so I just asked him to wait a minute – my mistake (ok, now in retrospect, maybe this is my fault??!!).

He comes prancing in all excited, “I found a ladybug flower!”  I quickly (now I’m still not looking at him) correct him, “No Honey, you mean a ladybug ON a flower.”  He then instantly shoved the flower in my face and said: “NO – It’s a Ladybug Flower!”  I’ll be darned; he was right:

6-15-ladybug poppie 4 Front Side

6-15-ladybug poppie backside  Back Side

Now the really weird part – WE DO NOT GROW THESE? LMAO!!  I was shocked (and that doesn’t often happen anymore) – “Where did you find this and why did you pull it out by the root?”

He said he had to show me it, and that is why he pulled it (luckily it came up root and all).  Here is where it came from:

6-15-16 where ladybug flower pulled

In the corner between these three bricks- I still can’t figure it out?  However, I quickly put the plant in a tall glass put in about a teaspoon of sugar and a touch of root starter.  I’ll be darned – it’s still growing:

poppie still growing

It has three more pods getting ready to open?!  Now the true test:  I have heard that you cannot transplant poppies.  I have a perfect spot I want to put it in outside (hope it will flourish and have babies – hee hee), so I’m gonna shove it in the ground, give it some good top soil and see what happens.  Wish me luck – it’s just too pretty to let die!  And “ladybug flower” was just too cute!

 

Follow my blog with Bloglovin