humor

I’M IN TROUBLE NOW!

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The back of one arm is all black and blue already. Pretty sure part of one butt cheek is also. This is what I get for forgetting to wear green today (pretty sure mom is laughing her butt off watching this from heaven – LOL).

I had been thinking about it all week, my only nephew son’s birthday was yesterday, and I remember that on purpose because it is the day before St. Patty’s Day. I reminded my grandson to wear his St Patty’s day shirt – and me – nooo (duh)!

Moms side of the family is mostly Irish, and it has always been a big deal. We have also been eating corned beef and cabbage up the wazoo (mainly because we love it, but any excuse will do to have more – yum!).

But you forget just one time and – OUCH! Oh, idiot me.

So this quickie little note is just to apologize to mom, my ancestors and all my friends that have been so nice as to remind me – I forgot!

happy st pats phrase

(Please don’t send the Angry Leprechauns after me – eek!! Hee hee)

angry leprechan

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IT’S NOT SMART TO MESS WITH MOTHER NATURE-MAYBE?

/ helbergfarmstories / 2 Comments

This morning was a wakeup call for me and my attempts at taking pictures.  There had to be a couple of thousand Snow Geese flying north over out little farm and these are my shots:

3-3-16 snow geese 2

snow geese 1

3-3-16 snow geese 3

Pretty pitiful – but there are 2 major things wrong pertaining to these pictures:

1)      Winning a great Nikon D3200 Camera with extra DX lens does not make one an instant expert photographer

2)      All the Snow Geese flying north on March 3, 2016 is way abby-normal!

The first one I can fix by actually taking classes (I think they even have some online under Nikon?) to learn how to take better pics.  I could also splurge on a neat little video camera (Walmart has several to choose from, at pretty reasonable prices), then I could have also shared the cool sounds they were making with you.

The second one is the thought that worries me a bit.  This winter has been way to different, and I don’t think it’s just here in Colorado.  It’s normal to get 70 degrees one day and 30 the next from October through January, but to get 60+ and stay there IN FEBRUARY – and no Freeze at all –  now that’s just not normal.  We prep all year for the one to two week period of below freezing day and night, not this year.

Have I also told you that I am an amateur Nature Enthusiast?  I say amateur because I have never taken formal classes on the subject; however, I have lived on a working farm most of my life (My folks purchased the family farm when I was about 2, and my sister was born after we moved there so she has been at it since birth).

I am fascinated with all things nature and natural.  The critters that show up unexpectedly in our yard (can you say opossum!).  The deer that come out of the woods almost every sunset to frolic in the lower pasture (especially love watching in spring as they chase each other all around till dark).  The increasing numbers of good bugs that are showing up here every year (Praying Mantis, Ladybugs, Monarch Butterflies – and some are endangered species).  We do not use chemicals of any kind on our property, so maybe we have become the Favorite Bug Restaurant for the good guys (I can only hope!)?  Who knows why they come, I’m just glad the come.

The numbers of sightings have increase about 10-fold since we purchased our little property in 2000.  Then again we cannot take all the credit, the first 3 years we were here were the worst drought years Colorado had seen in 100+ years.  That may have been a contributing factor (oh sure, blame the drought).  However, all I know is that they are here now and in growing numbers.

So the geese flying north in masses makes me wonder what old (yes she is “old”) Mother Nature is up to now?

Mother Nature 1

Is she in a playful mood and deciding to bring a nice early spring?  Is she in a vengeful mood and going to trick us into thinking it is nice, then zap us with a wicked deep freeze in April (after everything is in bloom of course – happened before and not long ago.)?  I cannot blame her for wanting revenge, we the people have abused her for too long.  Some of us (wish there were more- boo hoo) have actually been trying to help her all our lives. 

I guess there’s no way to predict what she’s up too, so we will just keep doing what we do – garden naturally, and hope for the best! 

Maybe I will put a totem up for her in the gardens to try to appease her – how’s this?

totem 1

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DO YOU REMEMBER, OH WAIT, WHAT, – SQUIRREL?

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Doug from UP(click here if you don’t get the Squirrel bit)

I maybe oldish but there are many benefits to age these days. One of the biggest benefits of my age is memory. No, I am not joking here (but it is funny – LOL), the adage is as you get older you lose your memory. Well, yes and no on that one.

I subscribe to MNN (Mother Nature Network), and one of their recent articles made me think: 7 Signs we are too dependent on technology. The sub-headline is the question: Remember when you actually knew your friends’ phone numbers? What remember? I still do know most all of my family and closest friends phone numbers, and even some addresses. Maybe it’s the math geek in me (or my OCD on lists of all kinds), but I have always been good at numbers. Who would have thought that I had any space left up there? (Hee, Hee!)

remember

They then go on to talk about how much we depend on our internet, buy things through it blah-blah-blah…same old stuff. The other items on the list were also things that I had heard before and knew… BUT… the 3rd question really hit home for me. You don’t live in the moment. It was right! I have been so worried about getting the “picture” I was actually missing out on a large amount of other things going on around me.

I needed that shot of the bird in the bush, but missed the silly walk day my grandson and sister were doing. Those types of memories only happen in that rare moment of time, and then are gone forever.

silly walks

Now, just today 2-29-16, I went so cleverly to the local Post Office to mail a simple package to my other sister in Aurora – and what dummy put the wrong zip code on the label – yep, that would be me (yes, I am laughing hysterically at myself as I type this)! Got the name, street address, city and state just perfect – no cheating with an address book for me. Then slapped on MY zip code without even batting an eye. Took getting it all the way to the very smart Postal Lady to figure out just how “duh” I had been. At least, we both got a great laugh out of it (she had to point it out to me twice – double duh, for not paying attention).

So my Pre-Saint Pats day resolution (yep ½ Irish and proud of it – not sure mom would be right now – ha, ha, ha) – LIVE IN THE MOMENT – YA IDIOT! Stop my swirling brain long enough to get what’s going on right in front of me.

Funny, I still remember a time when I used to be proud of thinking and doing several things at one time – Multi Tasking – not no more, apple core – who’s your friend – ME! (Yes, that last bit is a Disney reference – check it out here! Hee, Hee) OH SURE – I remember the quote from a childhood memory, but can’t tell you what I had for lunch yesterday? Ok, I watch too many cartoons, so shoot me!

chip n dale

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LOOKIE WHAT I FOUND IN THE MIDDLE OF FEBRUARY!

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We never clean up our leaves at the end of fall. They keep all of our flower beds, trees, and bushes nice and cozy until spring and add some great nutrients. Well, since it has been so abnormally warm out, we decided to start spring cleaning early.

The patio is always the first because it is where we do our resting and relaxing time. It took us 6 years to lay all the free brick (all we had to do was fetch it, clean it and place it)! We also didn’t follow normal patio ideas. We decided to go with the flow of the landscape instead of level it all off flat.

It turned out marvelous, however this year’s storms left us with an abundance of leaves and they were mashed down really well over everything.  Well, when spring cleaning hits, it’s time to find all the planting beds again. The whole front yard was still full of left-overs. The dill stalks, small bushes, and end-of-season flower left-overs all collect up the blown, mushy leaves. This made it hard to tell a plot from a brick.

The majority of the patio was easily picked up and swept. The area around the pond is a very different story. I got down on hand and knees (not easy to do after having both knees replaced – ouch) and worked my way slowly across the area. There are several smaller plots, as well as a couple of large ones.

So, it’s about 60 degrees, the sun is on me, I decided that sitting on the brick was easier than kneeling, and I was singing a song ( “If I had a million dollars” by the Barenaked Ladies – for those of you wondering) and working away. My method requires a small hand/whisk broom, gloves, a good pliers and my handy-dandy weed between the bricks tool (it’s like a razor or knife, but “L” shaped with a handle for easy manipulation). I was using my hand and broom to push back debris, then pile the excess to be shipped off to burn. Carefully checking each plot to make sure I left a heavy mulch layer, just because our nights still drop below freezing. Singing and working and lifted back a big pile of leaves and this is what I found:

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The tall spout is up about 2 inches! I was shocked! This normally does not happen until about the end of March (in a good year) or sometime in April – but here it is the middle of February!

I cleared out a bit in another nearby plot and discovered tulip sprouts – up about 1inch. What is going on?

The Boxelder bugs (or beetles) have been all over the south end of the house for the last 2 weeks. Not just one or two, but dozens:

Boxelderbugs

From what I have seen and know of these bugs, the only thing they seem to invade are our Elms. They are supposed to prefer Maple and Ash, neither of which is on our property – AND – they are not supposed to be out yet! When they are out, they prefer the sunny south side of our home. Occasionally I will find one or two inside the house, but that is very rare. Maybe because we encourage our spiders – LOL!

funny spider

We have a new skylight in our kitchen and all forms of critters love it – especially the spiders “It’s dinner time, chomp, chomp, chomp!” And we do not have to cook for them – woo hoo!

I know it’s been a wicked and wild winter again, but this is getting down right freakie-deekie! Always makes me a bit worried about what summer will bring – snow? LOL

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MY 2ND – WHATS UP WITH THIS?

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The sun rises. The curtains are drawn. The damage – Act I Scene I:

windy night 2-19-16-1

The wind shows its ugly face again!

creapy face

This time, it was wicked enough to take out my grandson’s playset and part of our fence in the front yard.

windy night 2-19-16-2 (2)

The fence I can put up by myself fairly easily, but this playset is another story. The sucker’s heavy!

So the first part of this “fun” weekend will be spent on cleaning and fix up. The Wind and its might are not uncommon here in northeastern Colorado, but ones this strong do not normally happen until the heat of summer – very odd indeed!

So, trying to keep in the lighthearted humor mindset, here is my children’s rhyme to the wind (sing to Rain, Rain go away):

Wind, wind blow away,

Come back on a 90’s day! (Oh it won’t do that cuz it would be helpful then – ha ha)

Wind, wind blow away,

Cuz I want my fence to stay! (ya, sure – pretty sure it’s using our fence for target practice!)

Wind, wind blow away,

Let my grandson go to play! (When it’s warm outside, he should be on his playset!)

Wonder if it is listening to me? Maybe you all can help and chant this when it comes to your area. Who knows, maybe we can all chant and send up enough hot air to counter its mean effect! It’s a though?!?

stick kids playing

 
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WHEN SOMEBODY THINKS YOU’RE WONDERFUL…

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This little ditty is for my friend blogger – DizzieLizzie – hope she likes it!

I listen to AccuRadio whenever I am at my computer.  Right now I listen to their Pop Standards: Rock Vocalists channel and there just so happens to be a song on by Bryan Ferry called When Somebody Thinks You’re Wonderful.  I just finished reading DizzieLizzies latest post on Looking UP….this song made me think of her!  It is an older song re-mixed into a newer song (that is what most of this channel is – also has great Rod Stewart and Bette Midler – love it!) and it is very bubbly.

So, in keeping with my New Year Resolution – here’s my bit-o-giggle for today….

When somebody thinks you’re wonderful…

silly dog

When somebody thinks you care…

silly pandas

When somebody thinks you’re wonderful…

silly dog 2

When you have so much love to share….

silly marmosets

When somebody thinks you’re wonderful…

silly llama

When your skies turn sad and gray…

silly emu

When somebody thinks your wonderful…

silly kitten n ducks

When I’ll help chase those clouds away.

silly cat

Ok, so that is not the exact words, but you get the gist.  Just wanted to share that none of us are ever really alone.  We just need to be reminded from time-to-time of those that encourage, love and support us…friends…family…God…the Guy sitting in the car in front of my house (oh wait – scratch the last one, that would actually be considered a stalker – oops LOL). 

Go out, suck in the sunshine, take a deep breath (except up by my family in MI – your nose will stick together from the cold so don’t do that-ouch LOL), and greet the day!

 

…AND THEN THERE WAS LIFE…

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Baby it’s cold out side….

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I really should go….but Baby it’s cold outside…

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It’s starting to snow…Baby it’s cold outside…

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AND THEN THERE WAS LIFE:

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Our first seedling of spring – a Ficus is among us!
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JUST BECAUSE YOU MADE ME LAUGH.

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JUST BECAUSE YOU MADE ME LAUGH.

In keeping with my New Year Resolution, this one is for Arlene (https://arlenedavidsully.wordpress.com) because she was the first to make me laugh today.

First we have – find the Praying Mantis:

PRAYING MANTIS 9-11-15

She found a great place to blend in with our Virginia Creeper.  They are popping up all over the place the last couple of years.  The one that is on this wheel against the house is the biggest:

DSC_0005 (1)

Yes, this most recent pic is during winter so it is crushed a bit, but you get the idea.  When it is mid-summer it completely covers the old metal wagon wheel, then starts traveling up the porch rails.

Then there is this:

my precious-cat pic

Which happens to be the exact same thing that our 2 Christmas newbies are doing.  The problem is that EVERYTHING is their precious – including my hair, my yarn and my pencils (one of the idiots loves to swipe them and then chew off the erasers?  Doesn’t eat them, just pulls them off and leaves them laying around the house?)

 

 

Last, but not least, in keeping with this years’ theme; one of the guineas has managed to get through the fence between our hens and the roosters – he is now dubbed Houdini!  I have no clue how he did it?  We never let all the girls and boys out together, and I have combed both sides of the coups only to find nothing – no visible means of escape.  Now the stupid bird can just stay with the boys – ha ha ha (it is funny cuz all he does is run up and down alongside the pen squawking at all the others to let him back in.)!   They look cool, are great critter hunters, but it is obvious they have a brain smaller than a pea.

So there are these:

guinea face 1                guinea face 2

How can you not laugh at something that looks like this?  They have a flat nob on their head like a dino would have had.  They run super-fast but never seem to know where they are going.  Their sound is like a bad squeaky wheel or door (really bad and really loud).  They do let you know if there is anything different in your yard, on the road, in the barn wherever.  They are also the best thing for catching grasshoppers, snakes, mice and other fast pesties in the gardens.  But when they do their circle dance it is hysterical (will try to catch a video of it this spring).

I hope this starts your Monday on a happier note!?

Happy Gardening!    guinea face 3

WHAT IS THIS? HINT – ITS NOT SNOW.

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fog day in herb garden

(the flash from my camera made it a lot brighter out than it was – only about 5:30 a.m. here)

Nope – it’s not snow.  Looked like it was to me at first then I saw this:

DSC_0003 (2)

Normally you can see the woods and the highway to the upper left very VERY clearly.  Not this day.  The longer I watched the more shaded the trees became until they completely disappeared (sadly the battery on my camera died-figures LOL)…it was FOG!!

We get fog quite often here.  When the weather comes down from the Rockies, dips deep into the foothills of Denver, then follows the Platte River out our way – we never know what it will bring/do.

This time was amazing.  We have snow on the ground already from a couple of good previous snows – but this was unusual.  The fog was so dense, wet, and heavy that it formed a layer on everything. 

Eventually, and unfortunately briefly, even the far fence line in this photo disappeared – can you say Twilight Zone again?? I encountered fog this thick once before back in Wisconsin.  I was about 19 years old, was heading from Plymouth to Sheboygan for an interview.  The fog came in so fast and so thick off of Lake Michigan that I had to open my door to see the center line.  Of course, the chicken that I am when it comes to driving blind, I then turned around and changed my appointment.

It’s a very creepy feeling when you cannot see more than about five feet in front of you!  This time I was safe in my home and wishing it had hung around longer.  It was early morning and, once the sun comes up in Colorado, it will burn off anything hanging (yep – bad pun- LOL) around.  Gotta love livin here – never a dull moment!

DSC_0005 (1)

 

GARDENING RESOLUTION #1- MORE FUN!

/ helbergfarmstories / 8 Comments

The last 2 years have been really rough for living and gardening, so I just have 1 resolution for 2016…

HAVE MORE FUN AND LAUGHS IN THE GARDENS!

This is what doing yard and garden work should be about – fun! There are only 2 reasons, I believe, for having an outdoor space: 1) To grow your own food, 2) A place you go to for relaxation and enjoyment.

garden fun-claymation

My parents used to have a great saying “you play, you pay”, which seems to fit almost any/every situation. None more so than your own personal outdoor space. You want something that, on your worst days, you can go to for your own personal karmic relief. A place that you (or with a bit of help from others) created and that you are content and proud to be in.

So, for my new year – and I hope yours – why don’t we try making it more fun? We all have to pull weeds somewhere, at some time – why not use that time to take you’re your frustrations?

pulling weeds

Beat the snot out of them – rip them out of the ground – or do it an easy way as my friend does…grab a pair of old scissors (make sure they are long), grab a shady hat or maybe you have a portable umbrella setup for shade, load a few of your favorite drinks in a small cooler, sit down by the area you want to attack, and begin: With gloves on (because she is allergic to some of them), she holds a weed up to accurately locate the base of it, maneuvers her scissors down the shaft into the ground and SNIP – it’s gone! Now this may seem a bit unusual, but she has a very valid reason to her madness. She stops the weed without bothering the good plants she has near it.

silly weed

Now, step back for a minute and think about this! She did not disturb the roots of the good growers. She stopped the weed from getting any sun and/or water. Yes, it will come back – but not for quite a while. This relaxed method also gave her several moments of peace and contentment. All she heard was distant sounds and, once done, she sat back and was proud at what she had accomplished. I was in awe of her great natural gardening discovery! So I tried it! It was wonderful!

If you have to be out there doing the nasty with the weeds anyway, why not enjoy it? Why torture your back or shoulders with wrestling with the monsters, when you can use that same time – with less energy – as a type of “Zen” experience? Become ONE with the butterfly (appreciate the Monarch if you see it – endangered species) and all the fun things in your space!

monarch on a plant

So, this is my major New Year Resolution – to make it all more fun and enjoyable. I hope you will too!