I HATE BEING SIDE-TRACKED!

I used to be able to plan things. I can’t anymore. My resolution this year is to put more laughter back into my life. Now who would have thought that could be such a hard thing to do? My family, by nature, is made up of a bunch of class clowns. Our parents (because of my grandparents I’m sure) make sure that we were raised with a sense of humor.

I have been trying desperately to “go with the flow” of things this year; that’s not working either. Too many things are causing me to be side-tracked. Uninvited, or better, unexpected circumstances. Example:

•The fire across the street on an extremely windy day.
•The kid from another state broken down in our driveway.
•Getting sucked into helping a broken-down kid (for two months now – grr).
•Child uprooting their life – AGAIN.
•Hot weather – wet weather – cold weather – dry weather – windy weather – no wind weather – ALL IN ONE WEEK.
•Grasshoppers from hell and barn fowl that would rather dig up my potatoes than eat them?

These, from a distance, may not seem like much, but when they are hitting all together at the same time – ENOUGH ALREADY! Time for a really – REALLY – deep breath…

HAPPY – HAPPY – JOY – JOY

snoopy n charlie brown happy joy

I have decided to fight back at all my “Unexpected’s” starting today!  So I, Rachel Helberg, do at this moment initiate the following rules into my life (again):

1.More Laughter.  This will be brought about by the following:

  • Stop longer during barn fowl feeding time and actually watch all the baby birds at play.  We have both baby chickens and baby guinea birds.  They are all in a variety of colors, and some are now old enough to chase bugs – NOW THAT’S FUNNY!  Try not to laugh when a couple of chicks are chasing a grasshopper that is almost as big as them.
  • Pick off one of my new fresh tomatoes and instead of bringing it in for processing, sit down and gobble the whole thing all by myself.  Let it squirt out and drool down my front (it’s my farm shirt anyway – already dirty – lol).
  • Watch the wild barn kittens play whack-a-mole with each other on a wood pile.
  • Stop and look around more – there are so many great things to see and laugh at and will be missed if I don’t stop to enjoy them.
  • Stay up till after dark and look up – remember what stars look like?!?
  • Get the water squirt guns out more and nail my grandson before he gets me (ya, usually don’t get this one right – lol).

2. JUST SAY “NO”… to the following

Life suckers.  These are the people that slowly suck the life out of you.  Unfortunately, they are usually hooked in before you even know they are attacking.  They approach you so gently, innocently, and sneaky (was going to say sneakily – but I don’t think that’s a word?).  Before you know it, they have you doing all kinds of things you really do not want to do.

  • I don’t want to drive you somewhere because you are too lazy to walk.
  • I don’t want to run you around because you lost your license.
  • I don’t want to give you our food because you blew all your money on a tattoo instead of getting your own food.
  • I don’t want to wait on my laundry because you don’t think to finish yours.

The above are just examples of ways I get “sucked in” to doing stuff because I am (so I’ve been told) too nice.  This becomes a major emotional conflict for me.  I want to believe and follow the “do unto others” scenario, but there are now too many others in life that are completely unfamiliar that statement.  So how do I turn it off?  AND – do I want to turn it off?  We have seen that there are good people out there, and hope we are in that group.  But how do you spot the “Suckers” and stop them before they drain you into vampire-ism (you know – lifeless).

 creapy face

3. More Self Meditating (NOT MEDICATING – although that’s a thought too – hee hee)

I did have a ritual in the evening that I developed in which I took 1-hour before bed to just sit quietly and contemplate nothing.  I KNOW – SOUNDS CRAZY RIGHT?  Not really.  It is very relaxing and refreshing at the same time.  I listen to myself breathe, thinking about purple cows (this trick is from a very good family friend).  Try it – there is no such thing in the world as a purple cow, so you really have to focus to try to picture one.  This little trick manages to push back all the jumbled mess I had rolling around up there from the day and force it to drift away.  (FYI – one bit of helpful info before you try this – – – make sure you write down any/everything you need to remember for the future.  If you don’t it may slip away from you – lmao – yes, happened to me a lot until I set a notepad beside my meditating area – duh!)

Hopefully, these three little changes will bring back my laughter.  My sister has been helping a ton with our Friday Night Game Night.  We started this for my Grandson.  It is our special family time to just play games.  It doesn’t matter what they are as long as we are doing it all together.  The current favs are Yahtzee and Trouble.  Have to admit that a couple of beers and a game of Yahtzee can be very therapeutic.  Especially when you start bringing up stupid things from your past like “how did we survive being kids?”  Now there are some funny stories….for another day!

biker on pink bike

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Just When You Thought It Was Safe – New fire?

Two years.

It has just been a bit over two years since our devastating fire.  Now this:

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At 12:35 it was just the County workers – white truck and the orange truck behind it.  There was a fire in the ditch right by the white truck.  This space is between an off ramp (behind the red fire tanker) and a looping on-ramp (by the orange county truck).  Two workers were trying to put it out.  The wind was more than about 20 MPR from the southeast.  Right now you are looking to the southeast from our front porch.

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See the red “Wrong Way” sign to the left of the truck?  At 12:45 the flames traveled that far, the two workers were working backward going up the hill when it hit a thick patch.  The flames went over their heads; I dialed 911, and by the time Dispatch said; “What’s your emergency?” it had jumped the road (off ramp from I76) and was heading our way!!

My seven-year-old grandson was here with me as I was talking to dispatch.

“Someone needs to get here fast – these two guys alone are not enough to handle the fire with this wind!” Pretty sure my voice was shaking.

I love our fire and police persons in this county!!  They were here within minutes and used their vehicles to totally block the fire from leaping to our home/farm.  Yes, I was scared to death all over again!

An Officer came up and said that we needed to get out.  Can’t I told him, just called my sister and she’s on her way here.  He said ok, but be ready to leave at any moment.  It was all I had to hold back the tears.  We just got our home back!  I was not prepared for all of this to happen again.

I told my grandson to come with me.  We each took a duffel bag, and I grabbed an extra for my sister.  I told him to pack some clothes in it and anything he valued most.  Pretty sure his computer went in before his clothes (lol) (FYI – mine went in after my clothes – lmao).  We got the essentials packed up and ready to go.  My sister got home and did the same.  Then we watched and waited.

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It quickly moved from the southeast toward the northwest.  If not for the for the road, the fire trucks and the quick work of our public servants; I’m pretty sure we would have lost the home and more this time.

The place where the flames are in this pic is just a bit to our north – our neighbors cow pasture.  He has several cows with calves in there.  There is also a huge barn with hay, a couple of wagons and some of his equipment.  I told all of this to the Police Officer and gave him the neighbors name.  He said he would pass along the information and try to contact the owner.

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Several of the trucks, men, and a couple of tankers went up into the field – Thank God!

Now that it is all over, and I have calmed a bit, I drove past our driveway and looked over the field.  The fire got right up to his trailers (you can’t even see them in this pic due to the heavy smoke), and his first pen fence – but our guys got it!

Moral of this story:
Always pay attention to your nose – it was the first thing that alerted me to this mess!
Note: Our fantastic guys hung around for hours after making sure ALL the hotspots were out – I am so thankful for them and their quick response!  Kudos people!!)

heart full of love

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LOOK, LOOK, LOOK…

We (it runs in the whole family) have a bad habit of taking in strays of all kinds.  The worst is plants!

The last five years we have been nurturing several ground cherry bushes that we purchased at a local auction.  A greenhouse grower in Nebraska was going out of business.  He brought a ton of trees and bushes to our little local auction (it may look small, but they get buyers from all over the world – via online networking).  Since we are small, chemical-free, farmers; of course we had to check it all out.

We bought four of the sad looking things.  One died the very first year.  The other three apparently loved the spots we picked out for them, they survived.  Well this year we received a very thrilling surprise:

ground cherry 2

A GROUND CHERRY!  Woo hoo!

Now this might not seem like much to most of you, but to a chemical free small farmer – it’s HUGE!  It is a sign that we are doing something right.  Now, the funny part…

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The largest two of the three remaining bushes only have one cherry each?  The third one has several cherries on it.  According to my sister, “They are yummy!”

I guess we must be doing something right on our little piece of heaven.  The bushes were dried up sticks when we bought them, and now they are amazing!  They have always been a pretty bush (you can see the deep greens and maroons), I just never thought they were strong enough ever to produce fruit.  Surprise, surprise!

I know a lot of you may not see the joy in this, but anyone that has been, is or aspires to be any type of grower will appreciate the significance of this miracle.

I do not think my sisters, and I will ever outgrow taking in weak, pitiful, unusual things (our older sister prefers straggly, stray scrawny cats – she strives to feed the world’s critters – lol).  In the long run, I think this is good.  Every once in a while, it provides me with proof that it is the right thing to do, such as these bushes.

silly cat

 

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What Is That Doing There?

My Grandson is brilliant!  Ok, on most days.  However, he was helping me weed, and I stepped in to check something and here this “Grandma come look?”  I couldn’t drop what I was doing so I just asked him to wait a minute – my mistake (ok, now in retrospect, maybe this is my fault??!!).

He comes prancing in all excited, “I found a ladybug flower!”  I quickly (now I’m still not looking at him) correct him, “No Honey, you mean a ladybug ON a flower.”  He then instantly shoved the flower in my face and said: “NO – It’s a Ladybug Flower!”  I’ll be darned; he was right:

6-15-ladybug poppie 4 Front Side

6-15-ladybug poppie backside  Back Side

Now the really weird part – WE DO NOT GROW THESE? LMAO!!  I was shocked (and that doesn’t often happen anymore) – “Where did you find this and why did you pull it out by the root?”

He said he had to show me it, and that is why he pulled it (luckily it came up root and all).  Here is where it came from:

6-15-16 where ladybug flower pulled

In the corner between these three bricks- I still can’t figure it out?  However, I quickly put the plant in a tall glass put in about a teaspoon of sugar and a touch of root starter.  I’ll be darned – it’s still growing:

poppie still growing

It has three more pods getting ready to open?!  Now the true test:  I have heard that you cannot transplant poppies.  I have a perfect spot I want to put it in outside (hope it will flourish and have babies – hee hee), so I’m gonna shove it in the ground, give it some good top soil and see what happens.  Wish me luck – it’s just too pretty to let die!  And “ladybug flower” was just too cute!

 

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Can You See Me Now?

It was a warm spring evening (have to start this like some weird scary novel).  My sister and I were enjoying our relaxing moment when we spotted it!  Then we spotted “them” and ran to investigate further.

So you see it?

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They move like a stealth fighter. Fast, bobbing, weaving, one moment there, the next gone.  Here is a better shot:

HB moth 1 6-10-16

A Hummingbird Moth – actually two of them on this honeysuckle bush.  We spotted them just as the sun was disappearing, at first we thought, it was a hummingbird.  But it is a bit early for those cuties.  So this was pretty cool.  It was really hard to get these pics since they dart about so.  My sister said I should just sit still on the ground by them.  I was covered in dirt and filthy from working in the gardens all day, and my shirt alone looked like this:

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So I did, and it worked.  Guess you have to look and smell like a plant before they will sit fairly still for a photo opp?

Oh, and F.Y.I. – I like wearing oversized men’s tee shirts in the summer, but I have to pin up the neckline, or everything goes down the shirt (weeds, dirt, bugs you name it).  So this is what you are seeing.  No time to sew, just pin it and it works.  In a couple of months I will have torn and trashed this shirt to the point of no return, so no biggy.  AND – no I am not a neat prissy gardener!  I get down and dirty into it.  My good bugs like me this way.

Happy Spring Gardening!

 

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Grandma, Why Do You Walk So Funny?

Out of the mouth of babes, Grandma, why do you walk funny? (It should be noted that he is now mimicking me – I want to growl, but started laughing instead – little jerk! LOL) Since he has ADHD, and since he thinks computer games are way better than gardening; I decided to show him in pictures:

This:

dried footer

Became this:

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And now is this:

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This:

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Became this:

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This and so much more was all done with the help of things like this:

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Several great doctors, modern technology, and some really strong metal and plastic parts (hope I don’t rust – hee hee).

Before the new body parts, I could not lift my right arm without my left arm’s help.  Both knees were sitting bone-on-bone (cartilage totally gone in both), and one foot had bones that shattered as my beautiful doctor tried to fix it (and NO – none of them were named – Frankenstein).  The other foot is yet to be determined, but it is useable on most days, so I’m ok for now.

On good days, I walk upright.  On fun days, I walk like the Hunchback of Notre Dame (of course, then I have to chase him around the yard yelling “Where’s my bell?  Give me my bell?” with a lisp of course.)

So, my answer to my grandson is – I HAVE EARNED IT!

My walk came hand-in-hand over time just like my wrinkles.  The real answer is: just too much fun growing up, so now I pay the piper.  With any luck, by the time everything gives out, I will have it all completely replaced and then have a great excuse for not knowing who that lady is in the mirror!  He is only seven, so he didn’t get the joke.  It was too hard to explain why I couldn’t stop laughing at this point, so I just tickled him for a while.

Then I proceed to tell him all about the reasons why Grandma is so silly all the time – but that is a whole other story.

goofy frankenstein

 

 
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By George, I Think We Got It – Maybe?

Well, we finally got to it.  Cleaned up the first major plot (it’s about 20’ long, 2-1/2’ wide) using the “weedless gardening method”.  Corn, beans, and cucs (The Three Sisters) are in here.  We are about a month late on the corn, so it will be interesting to see how it grows.

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The high grassy area next to this one is actually 2 more plots and two more walkways.  I still find it amazing how fast the weeds can come back.  The posts to the east of that area mark where the raspberries are.  We just started them a couple of years ago, but they are also filled with weeds.  East of that is three more walkways with two rows of field fencing (for those that do not know – that is fence about 4 feet high made up of 4”x4” squares, non-electric) which once held dozens of heirloom tomato plants.  We have the plants safe in the greenhouse, but they must come out soon – getting too big for their britches in there, sneaky buggers.

The potatoes that I started the weedless gardening method on are doing outstanding, even by the horseradish:

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There are weeds around the plot, but only a small amount actually in the plot.  The potatoes are about 10” high already- woohoo.  Oh, and, yes, that is our horseradish at the top.  It is getting ready to flower, which is a first for us.  We have had it for several years now.  IT decided where “it” was going to be planted (true story).  We had it about 10 feet to the east of this spot originally.  It began spreading to the west all on its own.  Not as bad as the mint, mind you, but moving non-the-less. (Hee hee, maybe I should write a scary movie based on this? Lol).  It finally settled here, so we created a plot just for it.  Happily, it has not tried to run away to another spot since settling here.

Then we have these wild beauties:

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We call them Widows Tears.  The pinkish/purple stems explode open first, looking like they are done – but wait – a green pod forms on the ends of the stems and this beautiful blue flower with yellow center opens up.  They do not last long, but the bees love them.  There are not thousands of them, but they do manage to scatter about a lot.

This is one of the bee favs:

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It’s catnip mint (also a fav for our barn kitties when I am not in the garden).  Can you spot the bee?  There were several bees at that corner of the plant (stands about 2 feet high), but they would not stop moving about – grrr, ha ha!

This amazing thing (amazing that it is alive) resides in the front yard:

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A local hardware store was going to throw away some end-of-year stuff a couple of years back.  We happened to be there and made an offer on several of the bushes.  Most looked like they were dead, but we managed to salvage several.  This wonder is one of the saved.  Have no clue what it is, but it is about 4 feet high, and it gets these beautiful white/yellow flowers about the size of a quarter.  They smell like oranges?!  One of the others that we saved was the blue sea mist that all the butterflies loved last fall (here is the post: Where did they all come from?. If you want to see our little miracle bush.)

Well, here are my wishes for you all today:

  • No more severe storms, pretty sure we are all fed up with them (time to do our naked dance around the fire pit in the middle of the night – eeek, oh no – no one wants to see that!)
  • All the plants that you are putting in late like ours, will grow excellently (is that a word?)
  • You get just enough rain and sunshine to stuff your pantries with your own food in the fall.
  • And, most important, you have fun doing it all!

Well, I’m going back out now to try to tackle the other ½ of our 5 acres – me and my “Knight in Shining Armor” –  riding John Deere mower – woo hoo!  Nothing runs like a Deere, especially me!

Happy Green Thumbing!

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I’M SO EXCITED! Can’t believe that it worked?

Our Bee Guy brings up the bees every spring via semi-truck.  When he gathers them all back to our place in the fall to go home to Arizona, he always leaves a case (yep – and it’s huge) full of fresh honey for us.  Well, this year we received a pleasant surprise.  He gave us a 25-pound bag of fresh oranges from his orchard – WOW!  These are some huge oranges:

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I have no clue why the bag says California (maybe he sells to them?).  I do know that they are fresh sweet and juicy – oh and ½ this bag is now gone (and it’s only been two days – hee hee). 

We sat and discussed different ways to preserve these beauties for future use.  The first idea was dehydrating.  Then came freezing, juicing and freezing the juice, and some other ideas.  Then we hit upon orange marmalade.  We make all kinds of jams and jellies, but never tried marmalade.

I grated the orange peels and froze for future cookie use.  Then we juiced and stewed up a recipe (we love our Ball Preserving Cook Book – woo hoo!!).

It worked:

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Made up a dozen of the cute little ½ pints for future Christmas gifts.  Then had enough for a couple of full pint jars and 1-half of a pint jar.  The ½ pint we now have in the fridge so I can have it on toast with peanut butter later today (yum!!).  I have to taste-test everything we do, wouldn’t want anyone to get sick right?  LMAO!!  Yes, that is my excuse for all of my food testing.  We have to make sure it is good enough to share (ok can’t stop giggling at myself now – sick woman that I am!! Ha ha ho ho ho)

orange marmalade made 5-23-16

These are the two big cuties – yum!  So glad it worked!  Happy, happy, joy, joy (doing my happy dance – hee hee)!

happy ck dance

 

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ATTACK OF THE HOARDS OF GREEN THINGYS!

I have not been able to keep up with my stories to you; spring has sprung at last! With that being said, here is part of my “to-do” list and my reason for worry about the green thingys:

1.FIND THE FRONT YARD (looks kinda like Where’s Waldo – hee hee, there is a cat in there somewhere?!)! This one is first as foremost as it is where we get to sit back and enjoy a day’s job well done. The non-stop rains we have had, along with our outstandingly perfect temps have made everything green and alive GO NUTS!

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(yes, the wind finally took out the play set-however- it will be recycled into a tree fort)
2.Get the corn in. Ok, I know all you farmers/gardeners out there are growling at me – yes it is about a month late! Again, our great spring weather this year has not been cooperative. If I had planted it when I wanted, it would have frozen out (several deep freezes since mid-April).

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(yes, there are plots here, just can’t see them.  I will post when done to show the difference.)

3. Build the new PVC Climber structure.  A couple of months ago I found a great structure.  When I asked around for plans, no one knew.  So I dug deeper and actually found the creator.  He said he did not have any plans (he just winged it – eek, lol – I do that all the time!), but he did have the sizes of PVC that he used.  That was at least a start.  Well, I have spent the last couple months creating plans.  Now I just need to get to Home Depot and get the parts.  It needs to go up asap as we want a ton of things on it this year.  Everything from cucs to melons.  We also hope to get it growing thick enough that we can set up some mid and late season cooler weather crops inside of it – wish us luck on this one!

4. Mowing, trimming, and more mowing.  We have gone from 40 degrees and straight rain (not normal for Colorado), to 75+ and full sun (this is normal) overnight.  This is going to be a non-stop thing for right now anyway.  I just mowed the main areas last weekend, and they need it again already (again not normal)!  Thank goodness my sister was smart, and we finally broke down and got a riding lawn tractor with a wagon.  It has been my “body saver” – literally!  With osteoarthritis sneak attacking my joints, just getting up and down in entertaining.  The right shoulder was so disintegrated that it needed a full reverse replacement.  The joint is metal and plastic, and if I pull or push too hard, it pops out of socket – NOW THERES A FUN TRIP!?!  Then I am laid up until it decides to go back in.  I did find that if I put ice on it, lay flat on a floor or bed, and relax (now there’s the trick when you are in excruciating pain); it will usually slide back in.  Then the jerky thing acts like nothing happened at all – instant no pain.  Go figure?
5. strong>Clean up and prep the rest of the garden plots (outside) and get those seeds going. We are working on the weedless gardening method this year, so it takes longer to get prepped.  The hope is that once we have it going, there will be much less weeding in future years – we hope!?!

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6. Trim up trees and get the suckers root starting in hopes to transplant into new areas – increase our tree and bush populations.  We have spice bushes popping up all over the place (normal), want to put in a bunch for wind blocking in appropriate areas.

So, this is just a fraction of my actual to-do list.  Growing up on an 80-acre farm in Wisconsin, I knew it is a non-stop job.  But this year there seems to be a ton of extras to be done.  First is most definitely the front yard – have to have that relaxing resting spot before all else!

(Oh – FYI – my list is up to #50 and still growing – ouch – all spring, summer and fall projects – JOY!)

relax frog w drink

 

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WHAT WAS YOUR LAST SURPRISE?

I went out, as normal, last Wednesday morning to do the morning chores thingy. A few of the idiot guineas did not want to go in from the night before, so they were left out (can you say coyote bait?). Well, they were squawking up a storm, which usually means an uninvited visitor. Most times it is a fox or coyote and by the time I hear the ruckus someone is already a meal-deal.

Low and behold this is what I saw:

wild turkey 3

Sorry, it is a bit blurry, he was about 50 yards from the front pen and would not stop moving.

Then Thursday morning I found this (about 20 feet away from me):

wild turkey 1

Here’s another view in the same spot:

wild turkey 2

Check out the colors – amazing! He was now right up in our pens. I let our “boys” out (it’s only one extra rooster – Buddy, and one red turkey- Whiskey) and the boys decided to have a flirt-off.   All they did was follow each other around for about 3 hours, fanning and un-fanning their tail feathers – funny to watch though!

Our turkey,

Whiskey 4-20-16

Is of course much bigger, fatter and goofier than his wild cousin. Whiskey will follow me all over the yards and gardens when I am working outside. The Wild Thing proved that they are just as dense as domestics. We live right by an on-ramp to the highway. Wild Thing likes to walk our lane down to the field, except one morning he wanted a detour.

The stupid bird followed ON the road along the on-ramp fence line – eeek! My sister and I stood and watched for about 30 minutes. Every single vehicle didn’t matter the size, which came up on him he would fluff and strut right out in front of it!? The vehicles would slow down, come to a full stop, then slowly make their way around him. It was hysterical to watch. Then again, we also know the secret to him and his car heists…simply step out of the car (yes, I am still laughing out loud on this) and he runs like a scared chicken! Go figure? A 2 to 5-ton vehicle does not feel like a threat to him (even though it could turn him into Thanksgiving dinner in a heartbeat), but a two-legged human makes him duck-and-cover (yes, I am pun-ing all over the place – and not apologizing for it either, hee hee). He eventually gave up on his Goliaths’ and sauntered back down into the field, eventually back into the woods.

Today is now a week since he first ventured up and he is still doing it. I took my grandson to school today, came back home about 8 am; he met me at the gate to the driveway. I saw him in this field as I left fanning at a plastic bag stuck in the wire fence. I drove around to the fence at which point he came charging after my car. The minute I opened the door he screeched to a halt – watching me. I ventured a glance his way and softly spoke, “Hi Pretty Boy, want to come play with our birds?” He didn’t answer, just watched as I grabbed the bag, went back into my car, and drove back by the chicken coop. I decided to let the boys out again this morning, and as of this moment, he took me up on my offer and is back chasing with our Whiskey again.

I really do love our unexpected visitors – especially when they are wild ones. Oh, and, Arlene; you will be happy to know that we now have three new baby bunnies enjoying the fruits of our labors in our gardens. (They are about 4-5” long and no I do not have the heart to terminate them. As much as I hate them eating our efforts, I have decided to do some better fencing instead. Big Giant Pansie that I am, especially with anything “baby” critter-ish. You all can laugh at me now!)

bb bunny

Happy spring gardening! May you have your own uninvited visitors!

(P.S.  If you are not giggling wildly by now, go back and visit Whiskey’s pic – see that HUGE breast on him?  You should see it wobble when he gets excited and runs!  Then again, most of him wobbles when he runs.)

 

 

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