Fun

I WAS SHOCKED AND AMAZED – WAS I IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE?

/ helbergfarmstories / 4 Comments

I hate shopping! There, I admitted it. If I can’t get to the store by 5 a.m., I don’t want to go. The reason is simple enough – rude angry people. Not just the customers, but the store employees too. When you go really, really early; you usually find a lot fewer people and most of them will smile (part of this may be that we know we are all idiots getting up extra early just to get to the store). However, this time of year is the worst.

Well, I was completely taken aback yesterday at the mega store (yes it is one of the big chain stores). I couldn’t go until after 10 a.m. because I had to pick up my meds, so I just waited to take care of the whole dreaded thing at one time. My visit started with the normal long wait at the Pharmacy, but while I was standing there I was actually joking with the clerk – AND SHE WAS LAUGHING WITH ME!!??

Then, I turned to continue my store assault – defenses up – but there was this guy – also laughing with us. I smiled and cautiously skated around him since I believed him to be not of sound mind. Joining in a humorous moment at a store – don’t be ridiculous!

I proceeded with fear into the children toy area. My safety mechanism’s on full alert owing to the fact that this is just before Christmas. Once again I was taken aback, other customers in the area were responding to my “hi with a smile” back – with the same! I was beginning to feel like I was in a strange episode of The Twilight Zone (for you younger readers – Google it, worth checking into the videos/stories).

twilight zone

(Click on the pic and it will take you to my fav episode – the night of the meek)

Then the most bizarre of all. I was looking for replacement ink cartridges in the electronics department, and an employee approached me with a smile and said “Can I help you find something?” Okay now I was really getting scared – someone actually appeared out of nowhere to help me – I didn’t have to go hunt them down?? I explained to her what I was looking for and the shelf where it is supposed to be was empty, to which she replied, “I think we may have gotten some in, wait here for a moment please and I will look in the back.” I just stood there looking at her in disbelief. I may have shaken my head in agreement but, in all truth, I don’t remember.

dont panic

NOW WAIT A MINUTE – I’m in a large chain store. It is just before Christmas. I am in one of the worst departments of this store during this time of year. And an employee just appeared out of nowhere, requested to help me, and is even going to check the back room stock? I’VE BEEN ABDUCTED BY ALIENS – I KNEW IT WAS GONNA HAPPEN SOME DAY!!! Eeeekkk!!

I couldn’t move. I found I was staring at the numerous TV’s on the wall in a daze and a customer went by me, smiled and actually said “Merry Christmas!” I smiled back and returned the phrase, but I was also pinching my hand now, sure that I was dead. Ouch, nope.

The helpful employee actually came back – and with my ink and another boxed set in hand. She said she found both, and since the set I on sail this week, she thought (yep THOUGHT) I might want it instead.   I could feel tears of amazement welling up as I politely thanked her for her efforts and took the boxed deal from her hand.

I went through the rest of the store, doing my usual round of shopping and encountering more of the same…smile’s, HI’s, Merry Christmas’s , all kinds of people being polite and courteous. I even went to check out and had a little older man and women pull up in line behind me, and I did my usually “You only have a few things, please go first” – and they thanked me?!?

When I was completely done, car packed and sitting in the front seat getting ready to start the car; I pondered the last few hours (yes, it takes me from 2-4 hours to shop now – another big reason for hating it!). I started my car and proceeded to pull back, but admit that I was not completely paying attention – but another driver was. I was looking over my shoulder to the right backing up and, when I came back to the left to check, she was sitting there – patiently smiling and waving me to continue, it was safe!

smile teacup pig

I drove down the aisle to the end and paused. There were no other vehicles coming or even near me, so I took a moment to contemplate the last few hours. It was a Christmas Miracle! Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Clause. Yes, wishing on a shooting star makes your dreams come true. Yes, there are angels watching over us. And yes, people can be nice, and polite, and decent to one-another. No matter what ugliness maybe in the news, and no matter what I may have experienced in the past; this was the wondrous thing I had been wishing to see. So I send out a huge THANK YOU to the universe for restoring my faith in the human part of humanity!

Merry Christmas to all!

ARE YOU FAILING ENOUGH? – REALLY??

/ helbergfarmstories / 2 Comments

This is a new one on me. I am signed up with AARP-Life Reimagined (yep, I’m over 50 – eeeekkk!!! Hee hee), and I get regular emails from them…come buy this, come play this game, come take this quiz for fun…well, this recent quiz is titled: ARE YOU FAILING ENOUGH? (click here, have some fun)

REALLY?? That was my first knee-jerk reaction when I saw the title – failing enough?? ENOUGH?? They had me, I had to go take the quiz. It was quick, easy, relatively painless, and did give a polite and helpful answer at the end. Then it got me remembering.

I recalled how everyone thought we were crazy buying a farm. Looking back at it all now, I think they either thought of us as really brave or really stupid (most the latter I think). A farm – in this day and age – what were we gonna do on it AND the one we picked was out in the middle of nothing (almost)? Pretty sure they all thought we were going to fail.

DSCF4878

The big thing they all didn’t know is something that I had learned earlier in my life – anything worth having, I’m going to have to fight to get it. The farm, like every other good thing in my life, took a huge amount of effort and struggle (still does). It wasn’t easy, but we are here! In fact, I have found that If something did happen easy, it inevitably failed and rightly so.

“Are you failing enough” – made me think about my/our life here on the farm.

Farming is a never ending process of failure. Growing, crafting, baking, canning, fixing, building, creation – it is all a series of failures. The trick is knowing that all these failures are an excellent teaching apparatus.

We tried several methods of irrigation – still do – most have failed, but we learned something new on EVERY failure! We now know that we can’t have just one system, we use several depending upon the location, in or out of the greenhouse, shaded or full sun areas and, of course, the crop grown.

We both craft various things, both work in the gardens, both love to see things bloom and grow. I can knit – she hates it, but she loves the results I create. I will start to follow directions, decide that there may be another method to my madness. I get really far into it and decide it stinks. So, I rip it all out and try again – DRIVES HER CRAZY! She sees me working so hard at the creation, then suddenly, without warning, I pull out the needles and start re-balling the yarn – EEEKKK!!! At this point I usually start laughing because she thinks I have destroyed something wonderful, but I know different. I tried – it failed – so I will try again a different way.

DSC_0048

(several of my latest creations)

She is just as bad only in a different format. She has the patience of a saint – drives me nuts! But if something needs to be done with a slow, steady and precise hand – she’s got it – hands down! A few years ago we bought several boxes of peaches from the 4-H kids and the bulk of it became peach jam. That same year she found a recipe for peach cookies. Now, being the good obsessed baker that she is, with a bit of narcissism thrown in, she had to make it her own.

She took a regular sugar cookie dough, somehow baked it into little cup shapes. When cooled, filled the cups with the peach jam, stuck 2 halves together and formed a ball. She then colored and painted them to look exactly like tiny peaches. Rolled them in sugar and to top it off, added little fondant stems – UNBELIEVABLE!

We had to taste test a couple for ourselves, but the majority went into our annual Christmas goodie boxes for friends and family. Everyone told us the same thing – “Didn’t want to eat the peach ones – Too pretty to eat – Still have it – can’t eat something so amazing.” She made them to be savored, and the shear wonder of them all came from her and her perfection obsessive passion. Now, the funny part was, not a single person asked how many time she failed, got it wrong, thought about packing the whole thing in – because that was not the point of doing them. The point was to see if she could, so – BRING ON THE FAILURE – it helps to do outstanding things!

(At times like this I really wish we hadn’t had the house fire. I had some beautiful pictures of those cookies. They looked like miniature peaches, or sparkly Christmas ornaments. About the size of an apricot, and way too pretty to eat.)

peach

AN ODE TO MY MOTHER – OR – IS THAT A TURKEY?

/ helbergfarmstories / 6 Comments

A little over a year since the fire. Second Holiday season since, and I am thinking about my mom. She loved to read and write, just not good at the latter but loved to try. So, as a tribute to her this Thanksgiving, I give you the following:

THE DAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING (or a turkey revenge).

So it’s (or Twas) the day before Thanksgiving, the turkey was spry.

The peacock he chased said, “You’re gonna fry!”

The peacock then giggled, “Your butt is so big.”

“They’ll cook you and eat you served up like a pig.”

The turkey not worried, not scared not a bit.

Replied to the peacock, ”I’m not fat, I’m just fit!”

“I’ll hide with the chickens, and blend in just fine.”

 “You’re the bird of the day dear, the family will dine!”

DSC_0006

“They have to find me to eat me.” The turkey said with a snort

The peacock not knowing the turkey’s cohort.

While the peacock was taking his afternoon rest,

The gang got together, and doing their best.

They pinned down the snooty bird, his tail went first,

Glued on some feathers, all doing their worst.

They disguised the peacock, a turkey he looked.

Soon the farmer came out with the ax and a hook.

peacock with tail

He found the peacock all dressed as a turkey,

Thought the thing looks a bit skinny, odd and whacky?

But a bird is a bird and its Thanksgiving day,

So he picked up the callous bird and went on his way.

The moral of the story my friends now is this,

Don’t’ tick off a farm bird, you could end up like this:

 

turkey dinner

Yours Truly,

the bad poet’s society

(aka: mom xxxooo)

 

Happy Thanksgiving Day

 

 

SARCAS M, OR WICKED SENSE OF HUMOR?

/ helbergfarmstories / 1 Comment

Helberg meaning of the word:

SAR – short/twisted for “sarry, but you set yourself up for this.

CAS – short/twisted for “cas I have to slam you now – ya know that!

M: – short/twisted for “Mm gonna be sorry I did it, but will do it again in a heartbeat!

My family, for decades, has thrived on it. If we don’t pick on you, we don’t like you. Just ask anyone that knows us. Even when we do something outstanding, a complement is always – ALWAYS – met with a quip.

My sister was doing her passion in the kitchen and came out with this prize:

DSC_0002

It’s called “An Apple Rose” and it is not only yummy but a real wow-er (yes, I’m pretty sure it’s a new word for the Webster people)! She, as always, hands one to me for taste testing (yes, the job is hard but someone has to do it-boo hoo). So, being the polite sister that I am, I accepted the challenge, downed the puppy and responded: “Oh ya, these can’t go to work with you, pretty sure they ALL have to stay here at home.”

She knows, of course, that this means they are fantastic and too good to share! She then replies, “So I should throw them all to the chickens?” I proceed to tell her that pretty sure they would be poison for our birds, and we need to force ourselves to suck it up and eat them.

It’s always been this way. If we really like or love something, gotta slam it. If we don’t really care about it – straight answer. My earliest memory of the origin of this was my sister and I volunteering (ya-sure, 8 and 10 years old volunteering to clean?) to clean up the kitchen after dinner. I don’t remember why or how we thought of it, but mashed potatoes were the instigator in our plan.

Now any parent knows when the kids are quiet, or worse giggling, there is something wrong. So, being the great father that he was, he sauntered into the kitchen to see what we were up to. “What’s going on in here?”, he growled. There we stood, ear-to-ear smiles on our faces, covered head-to-toe in soapy water from doing dishes, most of the table was cleared. “Nothing,” we both responded.

Dad was on to us. He stood in the door way, researching the room to spy the reason for our comradery. He did not see anything out of place, glared one more time at us, turned to leave the room, and just started to say Don’t take too long – WHEN IT HAPPENED! The mashed potatoes that we had flung to the ceiling had decided, at that exact moment, to release. Landed smack on top of dad’s head.

He placed a hand on his head to see what had attacked him. Slowly turned back to re-view the kitchen. He now spotted the numerous blotches of mashed potatoes and slick slimy rounds of bologna sandwich meat spattered all over the ceiling. My sister and I were proud of our ability to do this great work of art, but pretty sure dad was not going to appreciate it.

I always knew our father was special, particularly when it came to his kids, and to say that grown men are worse than little children is an understatement where he was concerned. But in this moment, it was perfectly matched. Instead of a scowl, he had a slight grin on his face. “Clean up this mess, get it all off the ceiling and clean that too.” He said. Turned and went back to the living room. We, in turn, stood giggling and watching as the other flung food began to lose its grasp of the ceiling and come crashing to the floor.

To this day, I don’t know if he ever told anyone about this, but I do know that we sisters have talked and laughed about it many times. So, in conclusion, my family raised me well with sarcasm and a wicked sense of humor. These both have proved to serve me well – no really! What would your parents have done with you and your mashed potatoes?