Our poor critters are so lost. The time change happened Sunday overnight, and we love it – critters hate it.
They don’t get it and can’t understand why we are not feeding them at the same time as the day before. Even after the change, going into the middle of the week, they are still very upset (or, rather, angry).
I am lost and confused, too. I wish we could just do away with the time change junk. My body said it doesn’t like it either. I came down with an ugly flu late Friday afternoon. Since I had COVID-19, I no longer get a “simple flu.”
My flu used to be a quick 24–48-hour bug: fever, chills, sometimes vomiting, and then it was done. No big deal. Not anymore. They start out with me freezing (WARNING WILL ROBINSON, WARNING!), then within about an hour, I get these horrific shakes. After several hours of that, it turns into a wonderful warm fever (usually 101 degrees plus). That lasted until late Sunday evening, and then it happened.
A frickin stye!! WHERE DID THAT COME FROM? I have not had a stye in my eye in over ten years, so what brought this on now?
Then, just for grins and giggles, God decided to throw in a cold. A COLD!!??!!! He must be really bored up there to decide to have such fun with me and my body over a 48-hour period (jerk!).
I swear, if I ever get to meet him, we are going to have several long conversations about this last weekend.
I hope your fall days are going better than mine. (Maybe I am lucky and getting all this yuck out of my system at one time? Ha, Ha – don’t be ridiculous!!)
All I need now is for one of the house cats to throw up, and I can pin a gold star on this week as the crappiest one this year.
This year has been crazy as far as finding “time” to get things done.
The normal time users are in operation:
Watering the gardens
Weeding the gardens
Feeding and tending to the critters
This year, however, we have been bomb-barded with the unexpected:
Major, constant rain fall. Yes, this helps with the watering issues – but – it has caused Kaos in the weeding process. I live in an arid area, not a swamp. Our soil (lucky us!) is a great sandy-loam so most everything grows well. This does include the weeds. Some areas are taller than me which ticks me off. I just can’t keep up with all of them this year.
I always start my Christmas shopping right after Christmas. I get ideas from listening to family and friends at our annual Christmas party. I decided to create three Afghans this year – oh silly me!! Most of my yarnie projects are done within a few hours, days or weeks; not Afghans. They take time and I really got wild with them this year. I decided to do my first one WITHOUT A PATTERN – EEEEKKK – WHAT WAS I THINKGING??!! The other two are specials with a theme to them. Both the patterns are driving me crazy. I don’t like it when a pattern is several pages long and keeps you flipping from one page, back to another. It gets very hard to follow.
The winds have been nuts! Yes, we do get wind in Colorado, but not normally so much and so steady during the summer. Our summers are usually dry and calm. Yes, we can get tornados, and we have survived a couple, but those are not the norm. We have piles of sheet metal ripped off of our barn roofs that need to be replaced before winter. Trees have been uprooted from the heavy rains (makes the root areas too soft), and the strong winds. They now need to be cut down and piled for our fire pit and/or local friends to use in their fire pits, grills or fireplaces.
The extra moisture has also brought out grasshoppers-from-hell. These monsters are the size of old B-movie creatures – HUGE I TELL YOU, HUGE!!!! I had one land on my arm during weeding, and I thought it was a bird – eeek!!! Two major bugs I hate in summer are grasshoppers and cabbage moths. They can destroy crops in days or sometimes in hours. Tomato Horn Worms can easily be picked off and moved to a non-tomato area (love their transition to a Five-Spotted Hawk Moth) to continue their growth (Milk Weed Plants are great for this). The large moth is awesome to see flying around.
We start planning our garden plots in late fall. I keep track during the previous year(s) on what worked and what did not. Then we check our seeds and see what needs to be purchased (usually newbies because we save seeds on everything we can). I also order more grasshopper flakes (They eat flakes. They die. Other hoppers eat the dead hoppers, and they die – great stuff) in the fall because by spring it’s all gone. We finally broke down and bought a great 4-tier seed start setup. Grow lights, heat mats, and even fans. We used it for the first time this last spring and were shocked to see how fast things grew. This next year I will have to tie my sister down, so she does not try to start everything so early again. The set up can handle things up to about 6-inches tall, past that they are falling all over each other. I had several tangled messes to untangle before placing them in the outdoor plots.
It will be interesting to see if next year will also be so weather crazy or not.
I am a creator, and I am lost. I get so overwhelmed with the daily happenings that I have not had time to even step into my craft room (yes, I am in tears). My crafts have been calling to me – LOUDLY! I know that they all miss me, too. I used to drift into my favorite room and get lost in there all day (sometimes several days – oops-haha).
I have my yarnie stuffs that can keep me busy, but they are all for Christmas gifts right now and not as enjoyable. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE making stuff for loved ones for Christmas, but I have several other crafts I am longing for.
Card making
Beading & jewelry
Calligraphy
Drawing
Watercolor painting
Each of the above creativities pulls from my heart and soul. I put meticulous moments into all that I do with them. To me, they are my more creative endeavors.
Don’t get me wrong, I do love my yarnie creations, but they all start with a pattern. I say “start with” because I inevitably tweak almost every pattern I come across. I thank the original creators for their awesome ideas, but it’s in my nature to make adjustments that just work better to me or for me.
When I am in my craft room (fyi – no yarnie stuff in there at all – not allowed!), my imagination soars!!
Lately, too many things have kept me away:
First, it was massive rains – I mean flooding downpours.
Can’t mow when it’s that wet, so had to hold off on that (yep, that came back to bite me in the butt).
Then, a major heat wave. I am talking 100+ degrees – OUCH! This, of course, caused the weeds to run amok.
Heat wave plus weeds equals more gardening requirements.
Special watering routine that now takes about 5-6 hours per day.
Special weeding to keep the bindweed away from the veggies.
Special pest control – the grasshoppers and cabbage moths are out of control!
I do have things we have done and installed this year to help:
Special driplines everywhere we can.
Natural grasshopper killer – only interests them and no other bugs (my ladybugs, mantis, and lace wings are safe). We used to be able to order it online from a place in Montana (Planet Natural), but they changed hands, and with it, of course, went the good stuff. I did find a very similar item online, but it has to be ordered in the middle of winter because by spring, it’s sold out.
Light cover cloth to keep the cabbage moths at bay.
We also installed five new plots this year to better target garden areas instead of having to handle a massive area.
Even with all the upgrades and helpful items, much of my day is still shot. Noonish equals lunch and then the household chores: dishes, trash, setups for the next day, everyday day-to-day necessities. By now, it is late afternoon and relaxing before bed (a whole other disaster-trying actually to sleep). This is not the moment to try to pull out a creative mind. This is also the time the yarn projects get worked on. I can easily watch TV, relax, and work on a project without having to review the pattern continually. Once I have the pattern down, it’s stuck.
That is one thing about being a yarnie I am thankful for, no-brainer pattern work.
So, back to my original question: Are you a lost creator too? What do you do to survive?
Right from 1-1-23, things got off to a horrible start. We had snow – not the typical dump and gone that we usually get in the plains of Colorado. No, it dumped and kept on dumping. Then the Wicket Wind Witch of the West started putting her two cents in, and drift-ola started. Of course, she had to create the worst drifts wherever we had to drive on our property: driveway, critter barns, trash bin sites.
I was down to my last year of payment on my car. I thought I had January, February, and then March, which would be the final. Nope! They called it all in at once in January, $900+ total. SURPRISE!
Water was backing up in the basement when we did the washing machine. Our thought was a plugged line in the house, so we rented a drain snake to no avail. Next was Del-Mar Septic Service. He came out quickly, considering they were way overbooked, but our drifts would soon aid in his overbooking. The last time we had the tank pumped, it was late summer, and the turn the big truck had to make by the barn was no problem. The drifts said no way, and the Wicked Wind Witch laughed. He didn’t just get stuck in a drift then back out – noooo – he was stuck from about 11 am until a 2nd truck showed up after 2 pm and pulled him loose (yes, we tried digging, boards, rags, nothing would unstick the truck on its own). He finally pumped our tank while the 2nd driver was nice and waited. I have to shout out a huge kudos to the company!! Even with all the madness that happened, they only billed us for what they originally quoted – woo hoo! We will be recommending them to all septic systems we know. Total $350.
Snow after snow after snow and not just a little, nope, it was bomb cyclone after blizzard after our most awful: a nor-easter. When the winds circle back around from the east, we ALWAYS get the worst storms. It doesn’t matter what time of year or what type of storm it is; it will be more intense and dangerous coming back from the east. This was definitely not our average start to a year.
Our drainage issue was not over. It started backing up into the basement again. BIG TIME!?! We called in our outstanding Plumber, and he realized (in only about 15 minutes) that we had a frozen line. (Side FYI: Scientists claimed that the earth’s inner core stopped rotating in 2009, and it was finally getting around to reversing. Apparently, this is a “thing” and can assist in our climate issues. WHO KNEW?!?) He referred us to a great couple of guys with a massive steamer truck. They came out, ran a like to our septic outside tap, and shoved it up our drain pipe. Then they turned up the heat and steam blasted our line for about an hour. Their snake hose also has a little rotary cutting wheel on the end where the water comes out so they can feel when it broke everything loose. Finally, CLEAR LINE – WOO HOO! Total for Plumber and truck: $650.
Our propane service showed up. The guy came and knocked on the door (unusual). When I answered, he asked, “ Do you have heat?” It surprised me a bit, but I answered yes. Then I asked why. He said the tank showed EMPTY. WHAT???? I usually check the guage on it a couple of times a year, especially in the late fall, but I had forgotten to do that. I also assumed we were still on the “keep full” program they offered several years ago. Apparently, the original owners sold this area to a local guy, and no one said a word. He had enough in his tank to fill us to 80%. Total $1200 (ouch again – and this was only the middle of March)
We got notice from our mortgage company that escrows had gone up again, and now we must pay an extra $150 monthly. (April)
My sister lost a crown on her tooth and had to get that fixed immediately. The total is $1000 (May now), and no, her insurance did not cover all of the expenses. This 1K was our portion.)
Our wonderful John Deere Lawn Tractor decided to pull nasties right when the rains finally ended (end of June). Then the drive belt decided to slip off right in the middle of mowing the big field – shit! The damn thing didn’t even have the decency to break, nope, it just slipped off the front drive wheel. OF COURSE, THE FRONT WHEEL – most complicated to get back on to. I tried, and tried, and tried again for all of July. I couldn’t get the damn nut to let go of the bolt. I watched several YouTube videos, which were helpful enough to make me understand what was going on but not enough to figure out how a woman of 60+ years old with six major joint surgeries and osteoarthritis could remove the stupid nut! Finally, I broke down and asked a dear friend if he had a minute and could come to take a look at it. It only took him about 10 minutes from start to finish to get that ugly little so-an-so belt back on and my beautiful JD back up and running. He did not charge (because he is a friend), but we paid in cookies for him and his family anyway. Total expenses for June were about $200 and July was about $500. The July thing was mainly because my grandson (now almost 15)was out to visit, and our food expenses always go up when he is out. This was extra because we felt it would be his last (yes, there were tears).
The GMC sensor went out. Then headlight bulb (s-we replace both at the same time). We had to use a mechanic for the sensor, so that was another $200+. Oh, and monsoons kicked in late August (WTF!?!). Sure, I didn’t have to do much watering this year, but I can’t get the weeds under control either. On August 21, we hit 100 degrees – OUCH. It’s not normal for out here either. It never ceases to amaze me that we can get tons of snow and rain, but the slightest winds during or after it will equal dry plants – go figure!
My sister’s job had a significant cutback in hours due to a lack of sales. That gave us 3-day weekends to get some bigger projects done together, but it also cost us about $100 per week loss. This went on for over a month.
I went in for my annual physical, and they called and said they found something in my blood draw. I needed to return to the hospital ASAP for a 2nd draw (YES, PANIC SETS IN). They also decided to do a bone density scan simultaneously – great. I’m glad I got my COVID shot because I came down with that right after the scan (blame it on the hospital – haha), but it was not as bad as the first time I had it in February 2020—good news: both tests came back ok. I was low on potassium, but that was my fault. I have had issues with that since my surgeries in 2014 and have been taking supplements. I ran out about two weeks before the blood draw, which caused a follow-up. Total loss this month, about $500.
Another lousy storm with HUGE hail came through. It took out the greenhouse door window (that was a bummer, but ok since the 2018 tornado took the roof and we have not had money to replace it yet) and then punched two considerable holes in our big gray shed roof. REALLY?!? It couldn’t have just hit the side of the barn and bounced – no – it had to punch holes in the roof the size of softballs. There is too much going on to get up there and fix it, so there is no idea of the cost of the damages yet. It’s just going to have to wait until spring 2024. The GMC went back into the shop one more time. This time, she won’t stay running, and if you are driving and stop (like to get gas), she won’t start back up again. WE FINALLY GOT A BREAK (November now), it was a faulty sensor (they initially replaced it several months ago), and it was all covered under warranty – WOO HOO!!! Oh, wait, I spoke too soon. During that last hail storm, the GMC windshield got a big smack on it – spider shoots immediately (just lucky it didn’t break through)… Oh well, there goes another $500+.
Overall, we ended the year with massive expenses and massive depression. 2023 SUCKED!
For the first time since we moved here (2000), we did not start any seeds.
I know. I know. Say it isn’t so, but it is. I don’t know if it is the weather (been just nuts), the scary state of the world (nut-bag in Russia), or my age (just say no), but something is really off whack this year. If you follow my blog(s), you may have noticed that this is my first post FOR THE YEAR – SHOCKER!! I did not even realize this until I titled this post. I keep all of them because I am a writer at heart. These are my stories of me, and I was dumbfounded to see that this was my first of the year – what is wrong with me?
I think I have to blame it on the weather (or climate) because I have not seen any of our spring flowers yet, and it is almost May. The leaf buds on the lilacs and honeysuckle are just now showing up – so not normal! I did get a minor reprieve last weekend when I heard all the frogs singing in our pond. Their music did bring on a brief moment of spring excitement.
I almost forgot; I simply went to burn some of our trash in our burn barrel and accidentally set our south field on fire. Our fantastic local volunteer Firemen were all over it, and there was (thank God) NO WIND! My sister and I were looking at that field now and were impressed at how green it was. So I think I got a bit of a boost seeing that even that dried-out field can come back to life.
We decided to just go with seeds right in the ground this year. The drought, the fires in our state, the crappy air (mainly smoke from all the fires and the dry dirt flying in the winds), and the battles over water have convinced us to cut way back this year on our gardens. I will keep cleaning them up and tending when needed, but the water is the biggest fear. I want to keep our trees going (fruit and others), and I want to start some new herbs in the herb garden, but watering this year is tough. We have our own well (a bit of good news), but we are also very conservative in its use.
It is too late for our regular early cold crops (broccoli, cabbage, etc.), but I can put in some root crops that we can, dehydrate, or freeze. Our pantry is pretty full of veggies. We purchased half of beef from our friendly local natural grower, so we have a freezer full of that. We will be helping our other friendly local natural grower butcher their chickens later this year, which will take up another part of our 2nd freezer. I have been trying to buy extras of things like flour, sugar, and salt, but the price of everything has gone nuts this year. (Don’t get me started on the gas!)
Our final decision is to grow less, use less water, use more of what we already have (duh – we store it for a rainy-day situation, and this is one of those days.), relax and remember what mom used to say:
This too shall pass.
Dang, don’t ya just hate it when mom is right! I’m pretty sure she is up in heaven yelling “I told you so” at us right now. And life goes on.
I wonder if it will ever stop? I know that the state (or county) put a sign on east-bound I-76 just before our exit that states “services next exit “, but it is wrong-sort of.
Yes, there are the services listed, however; when you get to the bottom of the off-ramp (which just happens to be right by our little farm), there is nothing to tell anyone just where to go for those services. It is another three miles to those services. Oh, and at the bottom of the off ramp, there is nothing telling them which direction to turn!
This has been a problem for us since the day we moved onto the farm (over 20 years ago now). I swear, everybody and their brother has to ask us something – or for something:
“Can you tell me where such-and-such is?”
“I ran out of gas, do you by chance have any to help me get to a gas station?”
“Can you tell me where the nearest gas station is?”
Those three questions are the most asked, but we also have some real beauties that have happened:
An elderly couple in a big, beautiful Caddy pulled into our driveway. The man got out and rang our doorbell. “I am sorry to bother you,” he said, “ but my wife really needs to use a bathroom. Could she possibly use yours?” Yes, we said yes.
While enjoying our Friday night cocktails one comfortable summer evening, we watched a Motorcyclist come down the off-ramp. A pretty standard practice there as tons of Cyclists have done it in the past and continue to do so today. This one was a bit different. He got off the bike (which was not small by a long shot), pulled out his cane, and proceeded to step back to stretch his legs. That’s when it happened. Just as he stepped clear of the motorcycle, it fell over. He tried to catch it but it was obviously more than he could possibly handle. We got up from our comfortable porch chairs, walked across the highway over to him at the off ramp, and proceeded to lift his motorcycle back up for him. He thanked us endlessly and even offered us money (we declined) and said he was just on his way back to Denver from Sturgis (he went to the bike rally up there) and just needed a bit of a break. We kindly suggested he may want to look into getting a tric (tricycle motorcycle). We all had a nice laugh and he went on his way.
It should also be noted that I am a mom that became a very light sleeper when I had my child. I have never been able to sleep long or sound for a full eight-hours after I had her possibly because she was born with a disability, possibly just because it is a mom thing? This last Friday proved, once again, that it is a very good thing.
It was around 11:30 p.m. Friday night, and the dogs started barking weirdly. They have several types of bark, but there is one that signals there is something really strange outside. This bark was one of those types.
They woke me and I went to the windows to see what was up. Then I saw the vehicle lights which were aimed at our vehicles. Definitely not a good sign!
There are several reasons people with vehicles are in front of our home in the middle of the night:
Gotta pee. This is by-far the biggest reason.
Dog has got to pee.
Check directions. Since the road signs do not clearly tell drivers where to go, they will drive by several times, stop, review maps or GPS and then figure it out.
Change drivers because the current one is starting to drift off.
But, I have to say, this one was a first:
As I was walking toward the widow where our vehicles are parked, I could see the top of someone’s head bobbing toward our door. The window was open because the night was cool and I leaned over and yelled out, “What do you want?” The poor kid jumped a foot! (Ok, I have to be honest and say that this made me laugh-internally- even though I was mad for the middle of the night disturbance.) He then proceeded to apologize profusely for the intrusion, but he/they had a bad flat tire. He asked if I had a jack. My first reflex action was “NO!!” I told him there was a garage just on the other side of the overpass and he could go there. (I knew full well that they were not open after 5p.m. any day, so the kid(s) would have to wait till morning. Serves them right for bugging me in the middle of the night!) After several more minutes of begging, offering the $20 he had for my trouble, and swearing he was not up to something bad; the mom in me gave in. I told him to pull in by my car and I went out to help. The tire was shredded so they must have been riding on it for a while. I got the jack out of my car, they proceeded to replace the tire and then the little fart offered the $20 again. I said no and then he asked if it was OK to give me a hug? He was going to visit he grandparents and I remined him of them. I caved in and then wished them a safe trip. Through all of this my sister, who fell asleep on the couch, did not budge – JERK!
I shared the story with my sister and we both laughed. Then she said was that she was proud I tried to not help them as we have sworn to each other to quit doing it. We have had too many bad experiences with strangers in the last 10 years and are trying to quit being so nice. The problem is, we were not raised that way. Our parents raised us with do unto others and help those that cannot help themselvesgrowing up so its embedded in our D.N.A.
I guess that with the state of things in the U.S. right now, maybe this little act of kindness is good thing and possibly even appreciated? A jack? In the middle of the night? Man, I have gotten soft!
Short, squatty, dumpy, frumpy, snarky, gimpy, and yuck. Yep, those little buggers in me are at it again. First, it was the extreme heat that got them rumbling. Then came the smoke from the Colorado fires. Next was the smoke from the California fires. Roll them all together, and my seven dwarfs strike again!
It’s been hard enough trying to keep the gardens going with the sun trying to bake them to a crisp, but the lack of rain has made it worse. We are lucky and have our own well (we had it tested when we moved in – great water and a very full stash – yea!), but we still try to collect all the rainwater we can get our hands-on. This year the tank fills have been few-and-far-between.
If you have been following me, you know I am an old-ish fart that has had too many major surgeries for such a young age. Getting around now is nothing like getting around in my twenties. Simple things like oh say, breathing, can be a challenge on a regular hot day. Throw in smoke clouds so thick they block out the sun to an orange type of glow, and it becomes a battle.
Everything is being “spot” watered now. I only use the sprinkler once a week in select areas. The spot (hand) watering takes me about 3-4 times longer than my regular watering system. The normal system takes me about 4-5 hours. Currently, I start at about 5:00 a.m. and do not finish until around noon. It is also hard on our well-pump, and that baby is only six years old. I can feel her pain!
The final straw was this morning. Working about my regular watering routine, I reached the greenhouse area. We still don’t have a roof (thank you Colorado winds from hell, oh, and the tornado of 2018), but the plots are doing great. This is the one place I actually laid out drip lines, AND THEY WORK! I turn on the water line to this area, make sure my splitters are watering all my beautiful veggies first, and then proceed to wander the plot rows to see how everyone is doing. (Yes – every ”one” as I talk to them all just like I talk to humans.)
I watch closely for anybody starting to turn color. My method is to clear them out a bit so I can keep an eye on them every day. When they get to just the right color, I nab them for our dinner table. (If tons are coming in at once, they become canned, dried, or frozen foods) I had a beauty of a tomato coming in. Yesterday it was just about ready, but nope, I waited one more day. I squatted down to pluck my perfect tomato (oh, by the way, it is about the size of a softball), and my fingers were covered in tomato guts-YUCK!! DAMN MICE!!!
We have farm cats all over the place, and I have yet to see them catch a single mouse. The greenhouse is wide open, so they can come and go as they please. They please to take a dump in there on occasion, but can’t seem to catch a mouse? So, I wandered back to the house and got a trap. It is set with peanut butter (favorite mouse food, in case you didn’t know) and sitting right now just under my poor beautiful tomato. I swear, if I catch that stinking mouse, I will dangle it by the cat’s noses then feed it to the dogs!
Maybe I need to buy some rubber snakes to set in my tomato bushes? Then I can scare off the mice and myself when my old-ish age makes me forget that I placed them there.
Farm kids find the simplest ways to entertain themselves. Making hay is hard work, but building forts while putting that hay up in our barn was tons of fun. (There were only regular small bales back then and, sad to say, there are very few places that still make them today.) Rolling down our steep hills was also a form of great joy, and then there was the Milkweed plant.
It is a weed, so, as such, most farmers would destroy them in favor of their paying crop. We played with ours, which, I think, made our father a bit mad. If you broke open the stem, it produced a milky substance that was very sticky (just try to mess with the plant without getting sticky!?! Can’t happen.), but our favorite part was the pods.
It is a strong and pretty plant that produces a heavy bushy type of flower during the summer and is best known as the perfect food for the Monarch butterflies. Then as the summer ends and fall begins, they grow these pods. The pods are filled with tons of little brown seeds, and each seed is attached to a very light and feathery stem. This is where dad would get mad.
We would break open the pods and purposefully pull out all the seeds on their feathers and throw them up into the air. We would pretend they were little fairies floating all around us. Pretty obvious why dad didn’t like it, but also pretty sure Mom Nature loved us for it.
It is a perfect read, especially since I have never looked at them as a veggie, but they needed to add the joy that it can bring to little kids as one of its best benefits.
On a side note, I need to thank our neighbors. They own big fields of paying crops (including crops that go into cow bellies) but have never stopped to ask us to get rid of them. The plant was not originally on our farm. The first one showed up in our front yard about five years ago, and my sister and I protected it. No, we did not pop open the pod and watch the fairies dance (but it was a thought); it did that all on its own. We just encouraged it to grow and enjoyed watching it feed our honeybees, butterflies, and other beneficial bugs.
I know it is moth season (yes, we have a season for them), and I know that they help to feed the birds; but do they have to be so nasty? And, what is there poop made of?
I hate that they get stuck in my hair AND CRUNCH when I try to get them out! I hate that they fly right into my face over and over and over again (makes me think of a Coyote/Roadrunner cartoon), and it doesn’t phase them at all.
The worst thing of all is the poop they leave behind – EVERYWHERE!! What the heck is that stuff made of? I swear it is worse than tar to try to get off, and it ends up in the strangest places. I found several yuckies on my DSL this morning, and the thing sits upright on a box (better air circulation since it gets kind of hot), and yet it has two trash marks from Millers on it.
Have you ever tried to clean that stuff off of something?
They are a bug and not a real smart one.
They are bird and bat food.
They don’t live very long.
They turn to dust in a heartbeat.
They squeeze into the smallest of places.
They pop out of the weirdest of spots.
THEY ARE EVERYWHERE!
I just don’t get how something so temporary can leave such a lasting mess. With the large amount of them appearing this year, we will be trying to clean up after the little monsters until Christmas!
The other thing I hate about them is when they pop out by the dozens in the most unsuspecting spot. I was cleaning up the gazebo and just shifted the chair cushions and got bombarded by a gang of them. (Yes, I have decided that a group of more than one is called a “gang” because they are so destructive when gathered together.)
If any of you out there reading this has some great idea on how to get rid of these nasty leftovers easily, please share so I can tackle this mess. Thank you!
Growing up on a farm in Wisconsin in the 1960s was fun. It was a ton of work, but I don’t remember thinking of it as work. I do remember the “special” things we did each week and other stuff just once every couple of months.
The weekly fun things were the Friday night trips to the grocery store with my dad, followed by a fun dinner (usually Dairy Queen-yum!). Between my dad and my younger sister (his favorite by the way), it was always an enjoyable experience. My sister did everything in her little power to make him laugh. It was most times, her physically acting out. Walking down the aisles as a mini-Hunchback dragging one arm and then talking to dad like the old movie icons: “Hey Roy (his name was Ray), can I hab dis?” Holding a chocolate bar in her hands. He AWAYS gave into her! I’m pretty sure it was mostly because she could make him laugh after a hard week at work.
The semi-monthly thing I remember was the outdoor movie theater. Dad would make up a bunch of snacks (popcorn, mini-sandwiches, and cool-aid), so we never needed to buy stuff there. Mom made sure we had blankets and pillows because we ALWAYS fell asleep before the movie ended. It was just us, our family, enjoying several hours together. Yes, there are other families in cars around us, but we never knew they were there once the movie started. We were in a world all our own!
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We would load ourselves and all of our supplies into the car, and away we went. First stop was always the long line of anticipation – the drive-thru ticket taker (which NEVER seemed to move fast enough):
The next phase was for all of us to scream at dad to “pick that spot, no – pick that one over there” to make sure we had the perfect place for all of us to witness the glory of the big screen (oh silly us – the area was designed so that every spot was for ideal viewing.). Once found, the astounding addition of the speaker was added to the car. It had to be hung on the partially rolled up window (oh – no electric windows for us back then) in just the right spot. Several adjustments were made to position and sound for our absolute listening pleasure.
There was the allure of the mystical Snack-Shack left hanging in the back of all the innocent child minds. All cars had to pass it on the way in (bonus for the theater to entice the kids – sneaky!), thus urging everyone to run and purchase the necessary munchies and drinks BEFORE the previews started. Get there fast. Get there now. Don’t interrupt the family movie night while the movie is running!
Our parents were brilliant! They made the most of one of the cheapest, easiest ways to entertain the whole family:
We had food.
We had drinks.
We had blankets and pillows to keep us snug even on the coldest evenings (we NEVER turned on the car and wasted gas just to warm us up).
WE WERE TOGETHER AS A FAMILY!!
The last statement was the best of all. We were together as a family, and that was the best thing:
No one was calling on the phone (yes youngsters – we had phones that hung on the wall or sat on a stand. Oh, and they did NOT tell us who was calling, because there was no fancy answering machine, so we had to answer the phone.) to interrupt us.
No one was stopping over unannounced. (Actually, our family had tons of family get-togethers which include kids playing on the farm while adults talked, played poker, and gossiped.)
No one or nothing could stop us from being all together, and having fun as a family should.
So, AMC Theaters (or whichever indoor theaters might happen to read this), here’s a money-maker idea for you:
BRING BACK THE DRIVE-IN’S:
Make everything drive-thru:
Take tickets like they used to right from the cars as they pull in.
Create a drive-thru Snack-Shack. Have the snacks posted just like fast-food restaurants have today. Make them long enough and large enough that the whole family can read the menu on their way to put in the order. They (through the speaker system, also just like modern fast food) state their order, pull forward to pay, and pick up the goodies. All from the convenience (and distancing) of their vehicle!
Now here is where you should spend some money: speaker or sound system. The old drive-in sound systems were large and clumsy and sometimes had static. With our modern technology, you should be able to come up with a much better, lighter system. Still make it hook into each vehicle for that personal family experience. Maybe something wireless?
One last update addition: A unique bathroom system. I’m not sure how to do this, but if you can figure out an automatic system that can tell how many people in vs. how many people out. You could still have several stalls, but the structure would know to unlock the “in” door when someone used the “out” door. You could hang plastic sheets along the waiting hall so that people would have to stand and wait between the layers. Perhaps an overhead sterilizing spray would go off as the “out” door would open, and people would move up to next-in-line?
I know you all think I’m on crack or something after reading this idea – well, no, I don’t do drugs. I just read an article about the fight between AMC Theaters and Universal Pictures because movies need to go out, even when the theaters have to be closed. I understand and sympathize with both sides of the story, so I came up with this beautiful idea for them all to get along.
Theaters make money.
Movie-maker companies make money.
Safe distancing protocols would still be maintained.
FAMILIES HAVE A FANTASTIC TIME ALL TOGETHER!
I say we start throwing this idea out there and get it done! BRING BACK THE DRIVE-INS!
HELBERG FARM STORIES 